Remembering Gonzaga one month later

I can hardly believe it has been one month today since that fateful morning when I learned the tragic news of Gonzaga's passing. In some ways it seems like just yesterday when suddenly and by no choice of my own the course of my life would be forever changed. Life as I knew it would never be the same. No longer would I greet him returning home late at night, weary from his day, to a darkened apartment except for the light coming from my laptop screen as I work at the dining room table. Lights would stay low and voices hushed out of respect for his sleeping parakeets and my canary Elvis. "Hey Gonzster!" I would say. And he would muster a tired "Hello" in return. Then he would offload his heavy bookbag into his room and return to the kitchen to prepare the dinner he had invariably skipped due to meetings and classes earlier in the evening. At first glance his curt reply and tunnel vision path to the kitchen might be construed as an unwillingness to talk to anyone. But I had learned that Gonz always had energy to connect with his loved ones. After the rest of us would have long exhausted our store of words to share and spent our patience to listen, he could still come alive at the slightest opportunity for a meaningful, encouraging, challenging interaction. I had only to venture into the kitchen and extend myself to him and he would welcome the engagement, ask how my day and life were, celebrate my victories and admonish me when he perceived me deviating from the optimal course for my life and dreams. With gratitude I reflect on countless occasions when I tested this truth about him and benefited from his wise counsel and loving, supportive friendship. And I grieve the loss of the special gift he was to me, irreplaceable in his unique combination of insight, care, wit, and availability.

But sadly it also seems like so long ago since his passing. So many activities, events, family drama, and just the routines, work, and progress of daily life have eagerly replaced any time I would have spent hanging out with and talking with the Gonzster. I realize this is not all bad and it is one way that I heal from pain of deep loss and mourning. But I cannot deny that I am the man I am today due in no small part to the friendship I enjoyed with Gonz over the past 20 years and especially living as his housemate these past 7 years. His values, principles, wisdom, and personality had guided me during our times together and now have new life as part of me in his absence. When I volunteer my time to serve at foster kids' camp I carry Gonz' spirit to champion the marginalized and fringe members of society. I remember him in this activity and so his memory is not lost on me or the children. In fact his legacy is multiplied even unbeknownst in the lives of all the campers and camp staff. When I allow myself to notice a friend is in special need of a listening ear or encouraging word and I actually interrupt my schedule to sit and be, I inwardly call upon what I learned from Gonz who had so masterfully demonstrated this art to me. I come away feeling stronger and learning more about Gonz and why he did what he did to make a difference in other's lives.

Ultimately I understand that the power and attraction of Gonz' life and example are that in emulating them I find myself closer to the true heart of my God and Creator. Yes, that is the big secret Gonz carried so well. He was a man of deep faith in God and Jesus, but he was not one to hit anyone over the head with the Bible. You were just as likely to find him standing in the second row at church, arms raised and worshipping in song as you were to find him at Le Boulanger connecting with friends for hours, talking politics or even railing against those in the church who give Christ a bad rap. He demonstrated His faith precisely as Jesus did, by simply living out his personal life mission while extending grace, peace, joy, patience, and kindness to anyone fortunate enough to rub shoulders with him.

May all those whose lives were touched by Gonzaga not let any part of him be wasted in his passing. May we recognize the ways in which he does or ought to live on in us. May we give life to those ways that keep him dear in our hearts and bring us each closer to the heart of our Creator.

And may God's special comfort, strength and blessing be on Gonzi's dear mum, brothers, and family who helped produce such a magnificent person as we have all known. We grieve with you and share in your devastation and sorrow.

In loving memory and tribute to my beloved Gonzaga,

Paul
Sunnyvale, CA

Gonzaga Memorial Video Montage now posted

You may now find the memorial video montage posted online by clicking here or going to http://tinyurl.com/gonzagamontage.

This video debuted at the memorial service held for Gonzaga da Gama at Open Door Church in Mountain View, CA on July 18th, 2009. May the memory, legacy, and spirit of this great man live on in the hearts, minds,and lives of all those who were blessed enough to know him in the short time he walked this soil with us!

Our thoughts and prayers of comfort and strength are especially with Gonzi' mom, family, and friend who grieve his passing.

Special thanks to Suong Nguyen and Bing Gabis for assembling these photos that recall special memories with Gonzaga.

The soundtrack song is "Elijah" by Rich Mullins.

Gonzaga's reflections on his safari

I only knew Gonzaga a few years but he touched my heart like he did everybody he knew. He became a dear friend and I am overwhelmed with sadness at our loss.

He loved to travel and was always on the go. His trip to Africa must have been a very special treat for him. He left us happy and we will always be better for having known him.

I think you will all like to know in his own words about his last big experience on this earth. This is what he wrote about his Safari.

==============================================
I just returned from my safari.

Was a great experience.

Went to Tsavo National Park in Kenya.

Spent the night in a great lodge where elephants, buffaloes, zebras and
others were coming for water.
Saw many many elephants - males and females and babies.

Saw 3 lions.

That is a treat. One was walking right side by side our safari van. She did
not seem to be bothered. She just glanced at our car and continued
majestically for a bit and then decided that she was going to rest. Then she
just sat and dozed a few times, yawned and watched us.

The other two were a bit far away on top of a rock. A male and a female.
This was on our early morning drive. We left the lodge at 6:20 AM. One cool
thing is that all the safari drivers are in radio contact with each other.
That is how they let the others know if they see a big cat. Then all the
drivers charge to that place.

We saw gorgeous Masai giraffes, impalas, other members of the antelope
family, ostriches, etc.

I wish I could stay there for a few more days. The drive was interesting -
going through the dirt roads.

We had an interesting experience with an elephant and her baby. She was
right in the middle of the road and when our car approached the area, the
mother elephant refused to move and stood her ground. We waited for a while
and when we sort of advanced, she was not happy and showed a stance of
charging. We reversed quickly and left. The elephant let us know who was the
boss. In this case the wild animal won.
==============================================

His friend,
Nicholas Antoniou

Message for the memorial

Just thought of quoting a few words of what I think my brother Gonzi would want to say to all of us from up above.


"Sorry I had to leave right away
I look down and smile at you everyday.
If friends remember and come to say Hi,
Tell them I've departed, but please don't cry.
And to others I'd like to say
Don't mourn because I've passed away
I am walking streets of gold
And am lucky the blessed Lord to behold.
Remember to say a prayer for me
I'll treasure your love through eternity.
So carry on as you did before
Till all of us meet on Heaven's bright shore.
Remember I love you, Remember I care
I'll always be with you
Though you don't see me there."

Fr. Anand da gama pais,

Goa, India.

(This poem was read at the end of the memorial service on July 18, 2009)

Gonzaga Memorial Video

The sweetest reflection

Gonzaga truly was one of the sweetest reflections of the kindness and joy of the Lord that one seldom encounters. I didn't know Gonzaga well, but what I did know was enough to know his deep love for God and his friends. He never forgot the things we consider "tiny" - to speak congratulations or acknowledgment to others for things large and small. To take note of the things people don't often see or speak of, but that those who look with the heart see and understand. It is a rare gift and one reflective of a heart truly submitted and kind.

I am grieved for you Paul and Scottie and Gonzaga's family and how you are coping with this loss. Please know my heart and prayers are with you, and I hope you are finding the comfort of the many that love you and Gonzaga in the midst of this as something to keep you going.

Thank you Gonzaga for being a man of strength, integrity and great love. I hope you are laughing on streets of gold among many, many friends and lives you have touched.

E'en for the dead I will not bind my soul to grief;

Death cannot long divide.

For is it not as though the rose that climbed my garden wall

Has blossomed on the other side?

Death does hide,

But not divide;

You are but on Christ's other side!

You are with Christ, and Christ with me;

In Christ united still are we.

Lara Long

San Francisco, CA

Dear Friend

You would have so loved seeing all the wonderful things that people have said about you in this memorial. I'm not sure you truly knew how many people's lives you touched or how many people really cared about you. It has taken me awhile to have the courage to read all that is written here and to write something myself. I will miss you. I am so thankful of the time we have had together.

Sandra Wolf Klitzing, Ph.D., CTRS
Illinois State University
School of Kinesiology and Recreation

Legacy of a great friend!

Hey Gonz! I can’t believe and never even vaguely expected that I would be writing to express our friendship and how much you have been part of my life and well-being in all these years. I still remember the time we met at Sanctuary on October 26^th, 2003. From then on, our friendship just grew and we became like family almost!

I can never forget the awesome times we have had, whether it was socializing after Church, your giving me a ride when I was a poor Grad student whenever I needed, dropping me home after my late night classes from San Jose State, spending time at your office and cleaning your desk at SJSU, being the counselors’ counselor at the Royal Family Kids Camp, meeting for coffee/lunch/dinner whenever we could, watching Bollywood movies, cooking together, having some “healthy” arguments on politics, some deep and authentic sharing in our Men’s Group, or exploring to great depths of what was going on in each other’s personal and professional lives at any time.

Can I even start listing some of the greatest qualities I saw in you and how inspired I have been through those? The list will be too long and endless. But I loved how you so cared for people, no matter how they were. You consciously made an effort to make people feel welcomed and cared. You were so genuine in your words and never cared to impress anyone or any group. You thought you did not belong, but at the same time used that to make the real outcasts totally belong. You always aspired for a better world! You always questioned yourself as to how you could live a life that would be meaningful for others. You ensured that people will see your life and understand the meaning of being a true Christian. You always spoke for the marginalized, the oppressed, and the “others” in general. Every table you were a part of, you always reminded people of the society, the culture, and some if its shortcomings and what we all can do to change it. You were such a great son, brother, uncle, and friend. You were so dedicated in your profession. You had so many laurels in your education, career, and all other associations, but yet you were always so humble of all that! Every opportunity you had, you insisted on making a difference. You were such a great man! This list can only serve as a starting point to even summarize your achievements and greatness!

I still can not believe the fact that you are not going to be with us anymore on this earth, but I know for sure that you are at an even better place now, and constantly watching over us. We will certainly miss you physically around here, but I know all our great memories will remain with us forever, and nothing can take those away from us. We love you, and I know for sure you will love us as you always did! In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, your friend and brother always… Alfred

Alfred Jude,

Sunnyvale, CA

A quick note to my friend Gonzaga:

Gonzaga, I met you around a year ago when I started working as a coordinator in the Department of Hospitality, Recreation & Tourism Management at San Jose State University. While I may not have known you for as long as I would have liked to, I am still honored to consider myself a friend of yours. Your positivity was contagious and your spirit was truly one-of-a-kind. I’ll never forget our sociological discussions as well as our conversations in Portuguese in the department office. It doesn’t surprise me at all how much you touched the lives of so many others, for you were a genuine person in a world that is suffering from a shortage of genuine personalities. May your soul rest in peace.

Take care Gonzaga,

Jason Amarante,

San Jose State University.

Condolences

May your soul rest in peace!

Our heartfelt sympathies go to your family.

Aldrin and Kezia Alberto

What an Amazing Person

I still remember the first day I met Gonzaga. I was in my last semester of my undergraduate degree (Spring of 2000) and had returned from internship for one of the few on campus meeting days we had that final semester. The same day the department was also conducting interviews for the open professor positions and we were lucky enough to get to talk with the candidates (I too remember Gonzaga in the suit that day). Honestly at that point, I couldn’t have cared less what the candidates were saying as I was graduating. Really, now as I look back, I can’t believe how important that day was in my life and how lucky I was that Gonzaga took that position at SJSU.

Gonzaga was an amazing professor. He pushed his students to the limits of their capabilities because he cared about them and wanted them to achieve greatness. He was one of the hardest working people I have ever met. I never took a class from Gonzaga, but I do have very fond memories of Gonzaga’s early years at SJSU. Back then he would often sit in on the graduate classes of the other professors, which you could always count on going from the regular lecture to a lively debate. I would not have finished my degree without him. While he didn’t let me off easy, he also refused to let me fail.

Gonzaga was a great friend. For some reason after I finished graduate school I actually got to see Gonzaga more often. At first we would have a reason for getting together (intern discussion, a presentation I was making for one of his classes or something else professionally related), but as we went on we just started getting together to talk over lunch. I never told him how much this actually meant to me as he was one of the very few people in my life I felt comfortable enough to speak openly with on anything.

Gonzaga cared. That is what I will remember the most. I can’t even remember how or when Gonzaga became such a big part of my life, but I do know that without him I would not be the person I am today. His belief in me actually inspired me on to things I thought I would never do. Last semester Gonzaga invited me in to one of his classes to speak. I would do this every semester for at least one of his classes. When he introduced me he told the class the story of his interview day and his meeting with the class of undergraduates that I was in. He pointed to the back of the room and the spot I was sitting in that day 9 years ago and jokingly told them a story about remembering a goofy kid in shorts and a t-shirt that couldn’t wait to get out of class. He remembered this because he really cared. I know that I was special to Gonzaga, but I know that because to him we were all special. He cared about everyone of us, his students, his colleagues, his friends, his family, and all those disadvantaged that needed caring the most. I am proud to have known such a great person.

Goodbye my friend. You will be missed.

Chris Ghione

Morgan Hill, CA

Is that my friend Gonzaga?

Passing through the hallways I often heard, "is that my friend Braaaandi?" and was always greeted with a huge smile. Finding out about Gonzaga's passing has shaken my family and a piece of us has darkened. My husband, Glenn, and I spent many hours with Gonzaga during our time at San Jose State University. Gonzaga was a wonderful man with an open and loving heart. I often felt other's didn't see in Gonzaga what we saw and loved. He helped me through a very difficult time when a family member had passed, Gonzaga's compassion during that time will never be forgotten. I only wish we had been able to say good bye and I can only hope he knew how much he meant to me and Glenn. Gonzaga truly was one of a kind- and has obviously touched many lives. I've attached a photo of Glenn, Gonzaga, BJ, and me at a scholarship breakfast- we will forever miss our buddy Gonz.

Brandi & Glenn Dionne

Class of 2006

Sacramento, CA

Dear Gonzaga

Dear Gonzaga,

I am saddened as so many are. Perhaps you are too. Did you think as you passed of unfinished things? Your To Do List was always long and exciting, but I think you had no reason to look back. The testimonials to your life are amazing, don’t you think? You must be grinning because I believe you knew just who you were meant to be and you did yourSELF (as we used to say) proud (your mother and father, too). Csikzentmihalyi would be proud, too... you were true to yourSELF!

Since retiring, I have missed our philosophy discussions, chewing over ideas and debating grounded research. You loved the playground of the mind; it was more real than the trivial tangibles tripping us up every day. You were driven by those ideas and debatable situations... eager to leap forward, to get somewhere no one else had explored, to make the world a better place, and to bring others along in the adventure. Often, I was a weight dragging on your foot, nagging about the reality the rest of us experienced... evaluations, publication, promotion, tenure, administrative details, organizing our offices... you know! In good humor, you politely listened, then went on with what was more important - the student, the colleague, the challenge, the discovery. And there you have it... a life of time too short for those you have left behind, but a life fully lived with all your remarkable capacity.

Thank you, Gonzaga, for taking me along for part of your journey. It was precious.

Love,
Moe

(You were one of two allowed to call me that - because you named me with caring.)

Maureen Glancy
Professor Emerita
SJSU

Memorial Service Annoucement

A memorial service to honor our dear friend Gonzaga has been planned for Saturday, July 18, 2009 at 2 o'clock. It would be held at Open Door Church (MPPC South Campus) at 1667 Miramonte Ave., Mountain View, CA 94040.

A light reception will follow the service.

If you are able to attend, please RSVP by sending an email to gonzagamemorial@gmail.com with the subject line "rsvp".

For a map and directions, click on the Google map below:

View Larger Map

A Tribute to Gonzaga…A Man with Wings

As I write this, I’m sitting on an airplane en route from San Francisco to Denver. While my flight was delayed, I picked up my cell phone and called Gonzaga’s office at San Jose State University. I wanted to listen to his outgoing voicemail message one more time before my departure. Although I didn’t leave a message, it was SO comforting to hear his voice again. As I boarded the plane, and settled into my seat, I prayed. I prayed for my dear friend Gonzaga and his family. I thanked God for the gift of Gonzaga’s presence in my life. During take off, I stared at the beautiful picture of Gonzaga with my son, Dylan, which was taken at Dylan’s baptism in 2002. Seeing Gonzaga’s smiling face again brought joy to my heart, and tears to my eyes. As I sit on the airplane thousands of feet above the ground, I see beautiful, white fluffy clouds from my window. For a moment, it looks exactly like Heaven. Suddenly, I am at peace. You see, for each time I fly I feel safe, because I ALWAYS feel closer to God and Heaven. Today’s flight was even more special, because I felt closer than ever to my dear friend, Gonzaga.

I remember the first time I met Dr. Gonzaga da Gama. It was the spring of 2000, and I was a graduate student in Dr. Glancy’s class at San Jose State University. Gonzaga was “auditioning” for one of his greatest roles as professor, mentor, and friend. It was the first and only time I ever saw Gonzaga in a suit and tie, and I just remember being SO taken by his passionate presentation about the importance of full social inclusion for persons with disabilities. The intensity of Gonzaga’s presentation that evening was so powerful that he ultimately landed the job at SJSU where I had the complete privilege of being one of his students. While at SJSU, I had the opportunity to take numerous classes from Gonzaga who also served as my graduate advisor. Despite having many challenges in my personal life while attending grad school, Gonzaga NEVER gave up on me. Always approachable, supportive, and kind, Gonzaga CONSTANTLY pushed me to be the VERY best! He was a tough professor with high expectations, but I completely THRIVED participating in such a rich and challenging learning environment.

Often outspoken, and ALWAYS an advocate for the underserved, Gonzaga was a BRILLIANT scholar with an undying passion for research. So much in fact, that he would often call me to share new ideas for potential research studies. Sometimes we would meet at Starbucks, and Gonzaga would whip out his laptop, and read me his latest findings!

I was always in awe of Gonzaga’s intellect; so gifted and talented. When I was around Gonzaga, I felt as if I was in the midst of a total academic “rock star!” He would often share stories with me about his other “rock star” friends; many of whom were featured in the text books we read in Gonzaga’s class! Great leisure scholars like Dr. Stuart Schleien, Dr. Leo McAvoy, and Dr. John Datillo were ALWAYS referenced in Gonzaga’s classes, as he DEEPLY admired and respected their work.

I remember when I finally graduated, Gonzaga told me that I was no longer one of his students, but I was now one of his colleagues! I felt SO proud to have him as my confidant and friend! Gonzaga was ALWAYS my BIGGEST “cheerleader” at San Jose State and beyond! His influence on my life as a student, professional, and human being has left an indelible mark on my soul.

Some of my greatest memories of Gonzaga might surprise you, but what follows are tender reflections of time spent with my dear friend. There was that summer when Gonzaga and I took an accelerated anatomy class together at Chabot College. We would carpool together to class, have lunch, and laugh hysterically when we would come up with goofy names and acronyms for certain body parts and systems. I can still remember looking at him during our all-important anatomy labs. We TRIED to be SO serious and studious, but sometimes I’d look at Gonzaga’s face and we’d both break out laughing! Gonzaga had a delightful sense of humor, and an infectious laugh! I also remember the time we found an injured baby bird in the parking lot after class. It was obvious that this bird had fallen out of its nest, and was hurt and scared. We both were SO worried about this little bird. We quickly scooped him up, and I later took the little fellow to the Humane Society to be rehabilitated back into the wild. This was the first (but not last time) that I would see Gonzaga’s genuine love of birds.

One of the things I absolutely LOVED about Gonzaga was that no matter how busy he was, he ALWAYS made time to be a great source of comfort and support to his friends. Throughout my friendship with Gonzaga, I experienced many disappointments and heartaches. From a painful divorce; professional set-backs and single-handedly raising a very headstrong teenager, to facing my mom’s devastating battle with breast cancer in 2008. Through it all, Gonzaga was ALWAYS there for me to lend his genuine compassion and support. Just being the amazing, sensitive, and generous soul that he was made Gonzaga’s presence in my life SUCH a blessing during those difficult times.

While attending Catholic school, my son Dylan decided to convert to Catholicism. There was just one problem. During that time, I didn’t have anyone in my life that could possibly be Dylan’s “sponsor/God-parent.” When I shared my dilemma with Gonzaga, he enthusiastically replied “I’m Catholic!” Without hesitation, Gonzaga proceeded to tell me that he would be delighted to be there for Dylan. It was Easter Eve 2002. It was such a beautiful service, and such a precious memory of my dear angel, Gonzaga.

In November 2005, my all-time favorite band the Rolling Stones came to the Bay Area for their “Bigger Bang” concert tour. I had an extra ticket and invited Gonzaga to join me and my family for this once-in-a-lifetime concert experience! I didn’t even know if Gonzaga liked the Stones, but he excitedly accepted the invitation, and proceeded to rock out the rest of the night! I remember dancing and singing with him in the aisles as “Tumbling Dice” played. In the words of Gonzaga it was “AWESOME!”

I also have fond memories of the MANY wonderful meals I shared with Gonzaga at the “Crazy Buffet” Chinese restaurant. We would often celebrate our birthdays together there. Although our birthdays were just a few days apart, Gonzaga and I always took delight in the similarity of our classic “Libra traits!” In so many ways, Gonzaga was the big brother I ALWAYS wanted, but never had!

One of the things me and Gonzaga shared was the desire to put our families first. Although I never had the opportunity to meet any of his family, Gonzaga ALWAYS spoke of his family with such admiration and joy. From his dear mother whom he loved and cherished with ALL his heart to his lovely cousin in Seattle who was like a sister to him, and his precious nephews in India, when Gonzaga spoke of his family, he spoke with a tremendous amount of love. Last year, I became my mom’s sole care provider as she bravely battled breast cancer. During this same time, Gonzaga’s beloved mother was dealing with her own health issues. While on sabbatical last year, Gonzaga selflessly took care of his mother’s every need. We would often speak about the challenges of being the sole care provider to an aging/ailing parent. We both agreed that it was the role of a lifetime, and the greatest gift we could give our mothers.

Gonzaga was a simple, deeply spiritual man with a BIG heart. Ironically, it was his heart that connected all of us to him, and ultimately it was his heart that unexpectedly took Gonzaga back home to our Heavenly Father last week. Gonzaga’s heart was overflowing with love for his work, friends, family (including his beloved “keets”), God, AND humanity. Gonzaga was a tremendous example of what it means to live life to the fullest, and to do God’s work here on earth.

I am comforted by the memories of my last conversation with Gonzaga. He called me just days before his departure to exotic, far away lands. We spoke on the phone for nearly 40 minutes. We talked about work, family, and our beloved pets. Gonzaga absolutely ADORED his little parakeets! He shared with me how he just LOVED going to the pet store, and watching the birds, and looking for the latest and greatest toys and accessories for his precious “keets.” We both agreed how WONDERFUL it is to have the unconditional love of a pet. One of the last things he said to me that afternoon was “I’m going to MISS my keets!”

Just like your beloved “keets,” the time has come my dear Gonzaga to spread your wings and fly. Although I am deeply saddened to have lost a dear friend here on earth, I am comforted in knowing that I have gained a TRUE angel in Heaven! May God bless and protect our beloved Gonzaga and his cherished family. May Gonzaga’s kind and generous spirit fill our hearts with love and compassion today and ALWAYS! I found this poem online (written by “Andie”), and wanted to share it with all of you, as I feel it best represents Gonzaga; the man with wings; an angel among us.

With your wings held high
You put a smile on my face
With all your might
You always left your trace
Never did I see you frown
For your smile was never upside down
Why is it that you loved me so
was I part of your soul
You were always by my side
And although you are no longer on my shoulder
I can still feel your presence
Your fluff warming my heart
I will always miss you
And I know the favor will be returned some day
For when I see you once again
It will be in the sky where
You will once again hold your wings up hig

Christine Lewman (San Mateo, California)

Gonz was a great, great man

Gonz was a great, great man. I wish that he is alive at this minute and either by my side or right in front of me. I miss him so much now that every second when I think about him, I feel like I'm going to cry.

He was like an Uncle to me and now he's gone. I liked how I would see him at parties sometimes and how I would see him at my grandma's house. I really miss him right now. I also liked how he would greet people in the nicest way. Now I will never see him again. There also something else that I will miss the most, his voice. I will never here that same voice again. I miss hearing his voice so much.

Especially seeing him. I wish I could see that same face at least once more. That Gonzy, was a great, kind, caring and most of all loving, person. He also had a great, great personality. I miss him so much. Gonz was a great man.

Let's all pray for
Gonzy as much as we
Can. Let's all pray
For Gonzy and be a
Big fan.

Riley Borklund, Age 7
(Paul Baty's niece)
Brea, CA

dear friend

Gonz, you were a dear friend to me and I will miss you.

You would check-in with me every so often. You listened to me, encouraged me and challenged me. You deeply cared for me and my wife.

I am left with fond memories with you - eating appam and egg curry with friends on your birthday at our place, having a pillow fight at yasi's place on her birthday, 'helping' you by cleaning your room in your absence by stuffing all your strewn out papers into trash bags and leaving them in your car :). The many rides to church and other places. The Signs of Hope / RFKC camp.

You had a big heart for those on the margins. Sometimes you felt like one and I commiserated with you. You were passionate and not afraid to speak your mind. I will remember our many lively discussions - sometimes, I would oppose you just to bring up the counter points or to see you bristle some :)

I am glad I was able to tell you that you were a dear friend before you left for India. Like yasi said, I will miss you and especially at the milestones in our lives.

Till we meet again, Rajesh.

Rajesh Philipos,

Mountain View, CA.

Gonzaga Memorial

My family first met Gonz on a Thanksgiving Holiday, back around 21 years ago. Our son, Paul, who was studying at Berkeley, brought home two Indian friends from Berkeley for a Thanksgiving weekend. That's when we first realized what a wonderful friend he is to Paul.

Their friendships grew, from then on, and consequently, Paul would bring him down over Christmas holidays, whenever he's not visiting his family in Minnesota, or Seattle, WA. Gonz is a very warm and loving person. Very easy to get along with. He really listens and gives his opinion with sensitivity.

It was many years later that he completed his Doctorate. But even though he has that prestigious degree, he would not allow us to address him as "Dr. Da Gama". He's still the same old Gonz that we have learned to love for many, many years. Each Holiday, we are dissapointed if he can not make it down to visit us. He did come, when our daughter, Michelle, got married. He came when my husband had his retirement party. He came when one of my nephew got married. My brother and sisters and their family got to know Gonz also, and just loved him. Gonz always asked me how everyone in our family is doing. He is so concerned, and saddened if things are not going well. He has a heart of gold. He is a very precious friend (more like a brother to Paul and a son to us). We feel like he's part of our family.

Boy, does he love to play games. One game that really stuck to my mind, because I had stomach ache laughing while we're playing. The four of us, Gonz, Paul, my husband and I were playing "The Settlers of Catan". this game is pretty intense, don't have any regard for anybody but just your own. We had so much fun playing the game, especially Gonz and me. I would tell him "Gonz, don't do that", whenever he would play something that I was planning to play on. He would just have his boisterous laugh, as if, he didn't really care. I'd do the same to him. We finished at around 4:00 a.m. I feel so comfortable with Gonz. He is just like us. He did not allow his degree go to his head. He is comfortable around anyone and everyone. He is a very likable person.

I can't say that I understand the feelings of his Mom, brothers, and sisters, because I have not experience that kind of loss. I can only imagine how difficult it is to accept the fact that we will no longer have fellowship him. I was in shock when I learned of his passing. Since then, Gonz memory lingers in my mind, as I realize that he will not longer join us on some holidays. To the Da Gama Pais family, please accept our heartfelt condolence for your most precious son and brother. Our hearts aches for you. We will be praying for God's comfort for all of you in the days ahead.

Mely & Don Baty

Desert Hot Springs, CA

Gonzaga picture

My deepest condolences go out to the da Gama Pais family. I was so shocked and saddened to hear of Gonzaga's passing. He was a tremendous mentor of mine, and I will miss him dearly. I will always remember his genuine appreciation for life and the people he cared about. He had that "work hard, play hard" attitude, which I admired greatly. I would like to share this photo of my friend and colleague Tanya Padres (on the left), Gonzaga and myself (on the right). It was taken last May 2008 at our San Jose State University graduation.


With Sympathy,

Mai Yamamoto
- SJSU Class of 2007

Gonz, you are dearly missed...

When I think of Gonz's role in my life, not only do I think of him as a dear friend who always showed interest in my life and encouraged me on but his impact went deeper than that. As I reflect, I realize that Gonz's journey and struggles has helped me in overcoming certain barriers of my own over time. And for that I will forever be grateful. Gonz was so comfortable with himself and he deeply cared and that made it easy for me to be at ease around him. This last year I met Gonz less often and mostly just in passing by but whenever my husband returned from time spent with Gonz, he would say 'Gonz really cares for you'. We planned to meet the day before he left for India but it never happened.

I loved to see Gonz rejoice in the blessings of others. It was a precious gift he kept giving people. His passion was (and will remain) contagious, he was not afraid to speak his mind. That inspired me a lot. He liked to be a voice for those who didnt have one and he was really passionate about giving people dignity.

There are so many things that I like about Gonz and that make me smile but one I have to mention :)
Gonz did not care about appearances. I was really concerned when he did not show up for our wedding reception. And then when Gonz finally did come he was wearing a bright orange tshirt, shorts, and sandals! He was coming straight from the airport. His flight had been delayed and instead of changing before he came, he chose not to waste more time and to be with us. He knew we really wanted him there.

I miss him and I will specifically miss him at the milestones in my life. As a friend told me, I can honor Gonz not just by reflecting on how he has impacted me but by letting him influnence me even as I go forward from here. Thankyou Gonz. Though it is unfortunate that it is in your passing away that I'm coming to know more fully about you, it also inspires me to love more fully... yasi.

Yasmin Philipos,

Mountain View, CA.

Farewell to a wonderful professor, friend, and overall human being

I am not very good with words especially in times like these, but I wish I had once last chance to tell Dr. Gonzaga what a wonderful professor and friend he was. In the six years I knew him, he was always there to support me and other students. He had a way of lifting your spirits when you needed it. It showed that he truly cared for the people around him, his family, friends, students, colleagues, etc. I am so blessed to have known Dr. Gonzaga and it touches my heart knowing what an impact he had on the lives of others. Intially I questioned why God would take him away from us so early, but I know now that Dr. Gonzaga fulfilled the will that God had set out for him. I know that Dr. Gonzaga is with his lovely God and looking down as on us smiling, wanting us to cherish the memories we have of him and living our lives to fullest. His passing has put things in persepective for me and I hope we can all remember to cherish those we love and tell them how we feel before it's too late. Dr. Gonzaga had call me awhile back and left a message asking how I was doing. I regret not getting back to him sooner. I still have that message and everytime I listen to it, it no longer makes me sad. Instead his message gives me peace and I appreciate that he cared enough to call me. Dr. Gonzaga, I miss you dearly. May you rest in peace.

Always,
Jennifer Wang
San Jose State University Class of 2006

Dear Professor and Friend

My dear professor and friend...

I transferred to San Jose State University in January of 2005 not knowing exactly what my time there would consist of. After changing my major from music to recreation, I learned that I was in for one hell of a ride. The students around me kept speaking of this "Gonzaga" person. I had yet to meet him as he was not teaching any of my classes that semester. Little did I know, at the time, how much my life would be impacted.

I will never forget one of my first memories of him. Prior to taking one of his classes, we attended an event that was put on by a group of students. I watched as he mingled and played games as if he were one of us. We sat on opposing teams for a group game...we all watched and laughed as he got into a friendly and playful argument with someone on my team. The next thing we all knew, Gonzaga turned to this student and, with a big smile on his face, he pointed and said "You know what? Let's take this outside!" We all laughed so hard...and I couldn't help but laugh...it was with that very moment that I knew that I was exactly where I needed to be with my educational choice. I didn't personally know him yet and this made me so excited to take his classes.

I finally had the opportunity to take his introduction to therapeutic recreation class..."Recreation 112, Tuesday/Thursday 300-415" as he would say at the beginning of each class session with a diet soda in one hand and his other hand resting on his hip. I would sit through class and be astonished at how much information he had memorized. There were so many conditions and disabilities I didn't even know existed, but yet he was able to tell me everything I needed to know off the top of his head. From where I sat, I would hear students groaning around me about how they felt that they didn't need to know this stuff...it bothered me only because it would distract me from paying attention in class. I would go to Gonzaga at the end of class and he would listen, just as he always did everytime I had an issue...then he would say the magic words..."You know what, Monica?..." then proceed to finish with some enlightening words reminding me to calm down and not stress about things. I knew that every time he started a sentence with "You know what, Monica?" I was going to be put at ease and I would be reminded not to get so stressed or worked up unnecessarily.

I had so much fun hanging out with him at the two California Parks and Recreation conferences I happened to attend.

In 2008, I went on my internship in Southern California...in doing so, I was able to attend the conference in Long Beach. I was having a hard time being away from home and learning the ropes being in a new place. Before going away for my internship, I remember Gonzaga telling me how supportive he was of me and me taking this experience and the opportunity to intern away from home. When I saw him at that conference, I told him things weren't going as well as we had all hoped. He made it a point to tell me to call him or contact him anytime there were any issues. He even gave me his cell phone number in an effort to make himself more accessible to me.

At this year's conference, he found out that I was attending graduate school at another campus. The first thing he asked me was "Monica, what are you doing over there?" That was the infamous question that convinced me that I was in the wrong place and needed to return to San Jose State University. I pleaded my case to him about me attending another school...and again, he started off with "you know what, Monica?..." I listened...and in turn applied to go back to San Jose State. I wasn't receiving adequate support at this other school...and that conversation with him made me realize how much I was missing out on by not going back to San Jose.

I called him when I made the decision to go back to San Jose State for graduate school...and at some point throughout the conversation I realized that I may not be able to get in because of my grades. As always, he offered another route for me to take in order for me to get in. I started to ask him about having to write appeal letters or having to appeal to the admissions office in order for me to get in...and he kept reminding me to wait and see what happens with my application first. Throughout that entire conversation, he kept having to remind me to calm down and not get stressed over it.

About a month and a half ago, I called Gonzaga in his office to ask him for some help in my application process into the department's graduate program. He wasn't in his office, so I thought I would call his cell phone. I hesitated because I didn't want to bother him. Then I quickly realized that he has never turned me down when I came to him for help. I may, in fact, be the last student he spoke to over the phone as he was on American soil. I called his cell phone...and he answered. After I asked him my first question he said "Monica...we may have to cut this short because I'm on a plane right now about to leave for Amsterdam." I smiled and asked "Gonzaga, you're travelling again?!" I remember how he was always talking about his travels and, most importantly, travelling to India to be with his mother. He would tell me about how she was sick and how he wanted to be by her side. I also remember seeing him the last time I saw him and being shocked at how long his side burns were!!! I asked him what his motivation was behind that...and he proceeded to tell me a story about how his nephews in India wanted to see what he would look like if he didn't cut them. And he didn't.

Throughout that conversation, before that plane took off for Amsterdam, he would put me on hold in order to listen to the announcements made over the intercom by the flight attendants. He finally told me that he had to go because it was only a matter of minutes before his plane pushed back from the gate. The last thing I said to him was "Thanks Gozanga. Have a safe trip!" Little did I know...that small "thanks" was how I would express my gratitude for everything he has ever done for me...and that I was wishing him a safe trip home and to heaven.

I was nothing but shocked when I learned of his passing...I immediately made some phone calls just to make sure it was true and it wasn't a joke that someone was playing on me. It was no surprise to me that he passed while travelling amongst his family. Those were some of the things I remember him talking about the most; his adventerous travels and his love for and longing to be around his family.

The things I would have said to Gonzaga had I known that that would be the last time I spoke with him. The gratitude I would have expressed...the stories I would have shared. I loved talking to him. I loved going into his office to ask about an assignment that I had submitted to him the semester before and finding out that it had probably made its way to his "circular file"...his fancy name for a trash can. Every time he mentioned how things ended up in his "circular file" it always reminded me that it was okay to not look back and move on to bigger and better things. I'll always remember hearing his voice echoing throughout the halls of our department...and how his smile and laugh were both so contagious. He always made me smile and laugh...and always reminded me to slow down and let things happen naturally. He was always so eager to listen...and support me in anything I did.

I was looking forward to taking graduate classes from him and coming to him for more support throughout my studies. I am extremely grateful to have ever crossed paths with him. The lessons he has taught me in and out of the classroom are ones that I will take with me for the rest of my life. I'm thankful that his family was able to share him with the world. I am humbled and grateful for the opportunities and experiences I had with Gonzaga...and I am saddened for those who have never had the chance to meet and learn from him. I offer my utmost condolensces to his family, friends, and students. Our lives have been deeply impacted by Gonzaga and his legacy and wisdom will continue to live within all of us.

May you rest in peace, Gonzaga.

Monica Bugaoan

San Jose State University, Class of 2008.

On Dr. da Gama's passing

I wasn't heavily involved with Gonz, but felt I knew him fairly well. He and I worked to bring the Signs of Hope summer camp to about forty youth, mainly from foster families, many summers. There was an offhanded generosity about him that allowed him to take a quiet leadership role with ease. While he didn't appear to take himself overly seriously, he wasn't a guy to be trifled with. His commitment to 'Kingdom work' was made evident in his continual presence and attention. He could make what seemed to be an offhand remark, but on reflection was exactly what needed to be said to put a meeting back on track.

If he weren't such a strong, committed Christian, I'd be far sadder about his passing. The Gonz has simply moved on.

Kevin Arnold

I miss you Gonz

I remember Gonz as a part of my life for as long I can remember understanding what an extended family means. Gonz is my mom’s cousin, but over the past 10 years or so I’ve really come to think of him more as my own peer, too. He was such a connector – bringing together different generations, different cultures, different ways of thinking, different experiences. He changed hats better than anyone I know. Gonz was a mentor to many young people, including me. Somehow he managed to be old enough to have experience, while young enough, “hip enough,” that I was willing to listen to him. He encouraged me to make some of the most meaningful decisions I’ve made so far:

• In college, he helped me write my first grant proposal. I remember our late night phone calls as we included the “grant winning buzz words” he recommended. In the end, I did win a scholarship to study in Goa for the summer! That opportunity allowed me to learn about my research topic, my family, and probably most importantly, myself. Even until now, Gonz was my sounding board as I worked through many ideas, including lessons learned during that meaningful summer.

• A year later, Gonzi talked me through my decision to move to California after graduation, where I lived about an hour and a half from him. I can’t possibly explain what an impact Gonzi had on me during those two years. Gonz always made me feel like I was worth the long drive. In Berkeley, he showed me around his old hangouts and told me about his struggles and successes there, convincing me that I might be able to make it there, too. He’d regularly take me out to dinner (I was poor), walk with me around the lake, come to BBQs and parties, and talk with me about “life in general.” Our Thanksgiving road trip of 2003 was especially meaningful – he made me drive the whole last half (from 12:30 -6:30 am) while he snored in Sally’s passenger seat! But the conversations we shared were worth
everything.

I would often hear about one of his classes, “Creating a Meaningful Life,” which helped me along in doing just that. He loved meeting my friends in the Bay Area, and they loved him, too. Also in California, Gonz helped me connect with Sancho, who I didn’t know as well as Gonz before moving down. I liked thinking we were a family threesome. Gonz and Sancho still rank as two of my most fun cousins ever!!

• Most recently, Gonz was always talking me through my academic plan. Along with Ranae, he proof-read my application essays that helped me get into the program I’m in now. He was continuing to advise me about career paths and specialty areas as he went to India this summer. Since he's been away, I’ve been writing lists of the things I needed to ask him about when he comes back…there’s so much I still have to learn from Gonzi!

I’ve always considered Gonz as someone who rallied for the needs of underrepresented people. He was the first person I knew who championed rights of people with all types of abilities and disabilities. He never missed an opportunity to be inclusive, never left someone out. I really think that my drive to serve underserved populations stems from Gonzi’s example – I think we come from a family that defines “achievement” in a fairly traditional way, and Gonz broke ground in redefining those terms. Knowing Gonz was an activist, I felt like I could be one, too!

Gonz was important to me because he was important to family. When Gonz was off in Minnesota, I remember feeling like someone in our family was missing. When he came back, I saw how happy everyone in our family was: how my mom would gush in Portuguese, how my dad would cook up something special. When I was away in Bolivia, Gonz was one of the people who took the time to help Grandma write me letters. Seeing his handwriting all along the aerogram, with her shaky signature at the bottom, convinced me of what a loving family I have. Gonz brought us together and reminded us how good we are.

With Gonz around, I always felt like I was worthwhile. Gonz had a way of making me feel special every time I spoke with him. Gonz always listened to my problems and enthusiastically offered his opinion. In many ways, he knew me better than any other family member. His advice had just the right balance of flavors: conservative Indian family, young person in America, enough distance for perspective, and overall kindness. He was someone I was willing to listen to because I really felt like he understood and cared.

There are lots of lessons I’ve learned from Gonzi. One thing about Gonz is that he worked hard to define who he was and be respectful of himself. Most of the time, it didn’t seem easy – I guess it’s that way for everyone who really tries. Gonz was a trusted friend because he genuinely liked people. What a powerful idea, to actively and genuinely find worth in everyone you know! I’m not saying I didn’t hear complaints sometimes, but I did notice an unwavering faith in every single person’s intrinsic value. I hope I can live in an equally engaged, nurturing way.

Over the past ten years or so, I’ve really come to rely on Gonz for support and guidance. I’m shocked and sad that Gonz isn’t with me anymore. I still really need him. I look forward to finding support among all Gonz’s friends and family, and in knowing that he’s still supporting me, just in a different way. Gonz has taught me so much, and although I wish he could teach me so much more, I’m going to try to keep growing in the ways he would have been proud of.

Rachael De Souza,

Seattle, WA

Celebrating Gonz

Gonz has been a wonderful friend to me over the last eight years. He has been a huge blessing in my life, and his passing is a great loss to me and to our community. I will miss his joyful and calming presence and the priority he placed on relationships. I will miss the way he greets you with a big hug and complete attention when he has not seen you for awhile. I will also miss seeing the affection he has for his dear friends- Paul, Scottie and Alfred.

I guess I often forgot that Gonz had a PhD because he rarely talked about his degree and didn‘t have the look of a professor in his blue jeans, bright green Crocs and t-shirt. The way I will remember Gonz the most is the many encouraging words he spoke to me. This last year when we needed some extra help facilitating our newcomers table at our singles’ ministry, I called Gonz to ask him if he would help us. His energetic response put a quick smile on my face when he said -“Christl, I will do anything to help you. “ I then recall his excitement after connecting with the newcomers and having authentic conversations with them over spiritual matters. He loved all types of people, and I knew he was serving in the right place.

In closing I want to say a few words to Gonz- ”Gonz, you have been a constant friend always looking for the best in me and readily communicating affection. Thank you for the practical way you would help us in our ministry at church. Thank you for your example of living with an implicit trust in the Lord. Gonz, because you claimed Jesus as your Lord, you now are with Him and we do celebrate your reunion with our Lord even though our hearts ache to see you again and hear your voice. Gonz, pray that we, your friends here, might continue to work for the Lord with great diligence until He calls us to Heaven when we then can see you again face to face. “

Romans 8:38, 39- For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, not any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Christl Kirchner

Mountain View, CA

friend of Gonz

Update

7/4/2009 at 20:00 Hrs Indian time.

At This Moment the Body of our Brother Gonzaga has arrived in Goa by Air-India, the same airline that took him to the US somewhere in the early eighties.

Looks like he completed a final circle and is finally going to be rested in his village cemetry in MOIRA on Monday around 17:00 Hrs Indian time.

Jose Da Gama Pais

Condolences

Dearest Fr. Anand & my dear friend Jose,

I’m deeply shocked with no more words to express the loss of my friend Gonzaga. I just don’t know what has taken the toll on him.

As I have written and always expressed, I had a sincere wish to meet Gonzaga someday, that may revive our old memories of Brittos.

I guess that was not in our destiny. May God grant him eternal peace, I pray.

Please accept my sincere condolences and sympathies to you and all in the family, specially your parents who have to be witness to this untimely sad moment.

Reginaldo - Rico, Parra

(Anita/Roberto’s brother)

Until we meet in heaven

God placed a rare gem among us men on earth. And this precious gem could be seen among the old and young, rich and poor, family and friends, relatives and strangers, the strong and infirm, the physically needy and emotionally needy, the deserving and not so deserving , the close or distant--and they were all transformed/ touched/ healed /inspired.

Gonzi, you will never leave my heart. I am still secure with your huge bear hug before your Kenya trip. Bye, until we meet in Heaven.

Cousin Cecilia
Porvorim
Goa, India

Gonzi, my old schoolmate

I’m deeply moved by the number of write-ups in Britto Net and this memorial blog site that have poured following the death of Gonzaga. I’m shocked by his sudden demise.

Like many returnees from East Africa, I was one who often shared my views with him specially during the first difficult years in St. Brittos High School. He was one who shared the Portuguese lingo with me. If memory serves me right, we were class mates from 9th Std. Jolly good fellow, full of naughty smiles with a soul of an angel; I can still recollect his person shining at the school passing out parade of 1979. After leaving Brittos we seem to have been in different worlds, far apart from each other. Nevertheless, I had always wished to meet him in person sometime, someday in our ever-land Goa. Destiny is such and I now feel his loss. May God grant him eternal rest.

I herewith extend my sincere condolences to Fr. Anand Pais, Jose Pais, all his family members and off course all BOBs/friends/well wishers who have associated with him and share this moment of grief. Indeed we have lost an adorable friend.

All that is written in this memorial blog archive speaks for itself - Gonzaga da Gama Pais, my old schoolmate.

Reginaldo Ricardo de Sousa
St. Britto’s Goa (India) class of 1979
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

Farewell Dr Gonzaga Da Gama

Yesterday at the First Friday evening mass, I listened to Fr Anand,s homily. I thought it was some anecdote or story that always fills a preacher’s sermon- but suddenly midway I got shaken up when I realized that it was the true happening of Fr Anand’s own brother, Gonzaga. After meeting Fr Anand when the mass was over, along with a crowd of parishioners trying to share his grief, I was totally shocked and saddened on hearing of Gonzi’s sudden passing away and seeing his lovely smiling happy pictures on the table. Listening to Fr Anand and reading the blogsite I seem to know Gonzi intimately (hence I take the liberty of addressing him as Gonzi), and feel that I have missed meeting a great person with so many talents and qualities, and most of all , a person who gave to others and helped others in so many ways. He had so many scholarly and technical achievements, yet finally settled in a field of sociology, touching the lives of others- a social worker in the true sense.

Fr Anand tells of his father passing away when he himself was just 10 years and I can see Gonzi shouldering the additional responsibility – he was so close to his brothers and mother and their children and striving to help the family and acting as a bonding agent throughout, visiting regularly, ringing Mother daily- a model brother and a model son. The more I read the blogsite the more I feel that I missed something and someone.

It also saddens us to see the grief of Fr Anand and his mother ( to whom the news had to be broken only a day later after conditioning her, while she was preparing Gonzi’s favourite dishes for his arrival) - heart rending.

To those who met him and shared with him, it is their good fortune. For us who did not meet him, his ideals will serve as a guide. May his soul RIP and we pray for God to give his mother and family the strength to be able to bear this great loss.

Fr Anand heads a vibrant parish here in Porvorim, Goa, and all of us parishioners are saddened by Gonzi’s sudden death and to see Fr Anand in such grief. We wish to share this grief if we can lighten his. I was once told that all of us are God’s children and He gives us to our parents and families on “Loan”. But when He wants them dearly, He takes them back. We have to be thankful for His gift of the loan of Gonzi to us for 45 years.

Fondly remembered by

John and Meena DeSilva,

Holy Family Chursh Parish,

Porvorim, Goa.

Miss you Gonz

Gonz Gonz Gonz, may your most peaceful heart and soul here on earth serve you well in heaven my friend. I have always admired your compassion and brilliance and know in my heart that you continue to shine. I will always cherish the memories of your truest laughter and joy at the most simple of things, the melodious way you would say my name 'Eeth!', and the important place you put friends and family in your life. I miss you dearly Gonz... love, Ethan (I'm one of Gonz's close friends since our days at U.C. Berkeley in the early 90s).

Ethan Janson
soundkite@yahoo.com
Seattle, Wa

Message from an Impact friend

Gonzaga,

I still cannot understand that you will not came back to the Bay Area from your travels this summer.

Remember we had plans to meet up regularly and I would teach you more German, since you enjoyed studying my language so much, one of your many hobbies, your many passions.

Gonz, I will miss your "Wie geht's?" every single time you came to Impact,our Singles group at church.

You made me feel special Gonz! I will miss helping you to practice your new German sentence you were learning at your German class at San Jose State. You were a busy professor, but you still had time to take interest in other people, cultures and languages!

Gonz it was you, who always encouraged me to trust God for my job to remain here in the US. Thank you for sharing your story with me how God provided for you and how much you learned about God's love for foreigners working in the US and growing in trusting Jesus in the whole process.

I remember it, like it was yesterday, when I shared from the front at Impact that I believe that God collects all our tears about our broken dreams in jars of clay in front of his throne, all our sorrows have to pass the throne of our King first... I appreciated your honesty about your many tears and many broken dreams in your life. I know that deep down in your heart you prayed for a wife for many years, but God did not allow this to happen, I can only cry about this fact.

You were a true gentleman Gonz, you treated all the young ladies at Impact with a lot of respect.

Your German friend Gabrielle, the messenger

P.S.: See you next in our Fathers house in HEAVEN!

A true man

Gonz is a rare soul. He was one of those people that saw you. The first time I met him, I was struck by how real he was. When he asked you how you were doing, he really meant it. He wanted to hear the truth, not the casual "fine." My experience of Gonz was always that he wanted to connect with you; he was committed to letting you know you mattered to him. Gonz and I had wonderful, uplifting conversations about our personal, cultural, spiritual and political beliefs. I love that he called himself a Feminist. He understood the real definition as equality for all. This was a true man. He deeply felt and worked toward all people having what they need and having the freedom to participant in our world. Gonz walked his talk. I felt his passion when I listened to his thoughts and opinions. And boy, did I respect him for his eloquent speaking talent! Standing true to his belief in God, he was able to include the excluded with respect and love. Gonz worked to change the world. He saw he could make a difference...and we know, he did.

Thank you, Gonz, for every conversation I had with you. You always made me feel seen and heard. You inspire me. You remind me of all the good in the world. You model the way I strive to be. I have always looked up to you. Your effect on the world and my little part of it will be everlasting. My promise to you is to continue our work. Your huge light will shine through all of us you touched. Your powerful spirit will live and thrive. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for being a part of my life.

Love,
Robyn Harrington
Novato, CA

Goodbye dear friend and colleague

It is hard to know where to start. Such a dear man, such a friend to so many, an inspired and inspiring teacher, a devoted and committed mentor, a consummate colleague. The accolades and superlatives could go on and on. In the past few days, I have read blogs and email posts from friends, family, and colleagues. They all so richly capture the essence of Gonzaga.

I first “met” Gonzaga from his writings and professional interactions. He was such a bright man! Yet his intellect did not get in the way of his heart. Everything he did was from a centered, compassionate and passionate position. When I finally met Gonzaga in person, I was so glad to meet someone in our field with whom I felt a strong affinity. I wanted to hear all about him and his thoughts on such important issues as inclusion of people with disabilities and all of his efforts to move people with disabilities from “clienthood” to citizenship. Yet, as I began to ask him about himself, he stopped me immediately and told me about my influence on him. I was honored and humbled. And right then, I knew again the kind of person that he was. He was selfless, caring, giving, humble, and kind. He was the kind of person whom I am proud to have called a colleague and friend. Your spirit will not die, Gonzaga. All of your like-minded friends and former students will not let it. We will all strive to be the kind of person you were. We will all strive to be untiring advocates. We will strive to look forward, and not backward, with a contagious smile, just like yours.

Your department, college and university will miss you Gonzaga. You have left a hole. Rather than say, “ a hole we cannot fill...”, because I know that you would not want that, I will say, “a hole that we will strive to fill”. As Dean of the College in which you worked, I pledge to ensure that we keep your spirit alive. For starters, in the fall semester 2009, I will give a need-based scholarship to a graduate student in recreation who best exemplifies your work. You will not be forgotten. You will live with us.

And to your mum and your family, Gonzaga, although I cannot even imagine her and their sorrow, I want her and them to know that you lived a full life in San Jose touching countless people at the university and in the community. For a person to pass through this life with such an impact is rare. You will truly be missed by me and many, many others.

Charlie Bullock
San Jose State University