Gonz, you are dearly missed...

When I think of Gonz's role in my life, not only do I think of him as a dear friend who always showed interest in my life and encouraged me on but his impact went deeper than that. As I reflect, I realize that Gonz's journey and struggles has helped me in overcoming certain barriers of my own over time. And for that I will forever be grateful. Gonz was so comfortable with himself and he deeply cared and that made it easy for me to be at ease around him. This last year I met Gonz less often and mostly just in passing by but whenever my husband returned from time spent with Gonz, he would say 'Gonz really cares for you'. We planned to meet the day before he left for India but it never happened.

I loved to see Gonz rejoice in the blessings of others. It was a precious gift he kept giving people. His passion was (and will remain) contagious, he was not afraid to speak his mind. That inspired me a lot. He liked to be a voice for those who didnt have one and he was really passionate about giving people dignity.

There are so many things that I like about Gonz and that make me smile but one I have to mention :)
Gonz did not care about appearances. I was really concerned when he did not show up for our wedding reception. And then when Gonz finally did come he was wearing a bright orange tshirt, shorts, and sandals! He was coming straight from the airport. His flight had been delayed and instead of changing before he came, he chose not to waste more time and to be with us. He knew we really wanted him there.

I miss him and I will specifically miss him at the milestones in my life. As a friend told me, I can honor Gonz not just by reflecting on how he has impacted me but by letting him influnence me even as I go forward from here. Thankyou Gonz. Though it is unfortunate that it is in your passing away that I'm coming to know more fully about you, it also inspires me to love more fully... yasi.

Yasmin Philipos,

Mountain View, CA.

Farewell to a wonderful professor, friend, and overall human being

I am not very good with words especially in times like these, but I wish I had once last chance to tell Dr. Gonzaga what a wonderful professor and friend he was. In the six years I knew him, he was always there to support me and other students. He had a way of lifting your spirits when you needed it. It showed that he truly cared for the people around him, his family, friends, students, colleagues, etc. I am so blessed to have known Dr. Gonzaga and it touches my heart knowing what an impact he had on the lives of others. Intially I questioned why God would take him away from us so early, but I know now that Dr. Gonzaga fulfilled the will that God had set out for him. I know that Dr. Gonzaga is with his lovely God and looking down as on us smiling, wanting us to cherish the memories we have of him and living our lives to fullest. His passing has put things in persepective for me and I hope we can all remember to cherish those we love and tell them how we feel before it's too late. Dr. Gonzaga had call me awhile back and left a message asking how I was doing. I regret not getting back to him sooner. I still have that message and everytime I listen to it, it no longer makes me sad. Instead his message gives me peace and I appreciate that he cared enough to call me. Dr. Gonzaga, I miss you dearly. May you rest in peace.

Always,
Jennifer Wang
San Jose State University Class of 2006

Dear Professor and Friend

My dear professor and friend...

I transferred to San Jose State University in January of 2005 not knowing exactly what my time there would consist of. After changing my major from music to recreation, I learned that I was in for one hell of a ride. The students around me kept speaking of this "Gonzaga" person. I had yet to meet him as he was not teaching any of my classes that semester. Little did I know, at the time, how much my life would be impacted.

I will never forget one of my first memories of him. Prior to taking one of his classes, we attended an event that was put on by a group of students. I watched as he mingled and played games as if he were one of us. We sat on opposing teams for a group game...we all watched and laughed as he got into a friendly and playful argument with someone on my team. The next thing we all knew, Gonzaga turned to this student and, with a big smile on his face, he pointed and said "You know what? Let's take this outside!" We all laughed so hard...and I couldn't help but laugh...it was with that very moment that I knew that I was exactly where I needed to be with my educational choice. I didn't personally know him yet and this made me so excited to take his classes.

I finally had the opportunity to take his introduction to therapeutic recreation class..."Recreation 112, Tuesday/Thursday 300-415" as he would say at the beginning of each class session with a diet soda in one hand and his other hand resting on his hip. I would sit through class and be astonished at how much information he had memorized. There were so many conditions and disabilities I didn't even know existed, but yet he was able to tell me everything I needed to know off the top of his head. From where I sat, I would hear students groaning around me about how they felt that they didn't need to know this stuff...it bothered me only because it would distract me from paying attention in class. I would go to Gonzaga at the end of class and he would listen, just as he always did everytime I had an issue...then he would say the magic words..."You know what, Monica?..." then proceed to finish with some enlightening words reminding me to calm down and not stress about things. I knew that every time he started a sentence with "You know what, Monica?" I was going to be put at ease and I would be reminded not to get so stressed or worked up unnecessarily.

I had so much fun hanging out with him at the two California Parks and Recreation conferences I happened to attend.

In 2008, I went on my internship in Southern California...in doing so, I was able to attend the conference in Long Beach. I was having a hard time being away from home and learning the ropes being in a new place. Before going away for my internship, I remember Gonzaga telling me how supportive he was of me and me taking this experience and the opportunity to intern away from home. When I saw him at that conference, I told him things weren't going as well as we had all hoped. He made it a point to tell me to call him or contact him anytime there were any issues. He even gave me his cell phone number in an effort to make himself more accessible to me.

At this year's conference, he found out that I was attending graduate school at another campus. The first thing he asked me was "Monica, what are you doing over there?" That was the infamous question that convinced me that I was in the wrong place and needed to return to San Jose State University. I pleaded my case to him about me attending another school...and again, he started off with "you know what, Monica?..." I listened...and in turn applied to go back to San Jose State. I wasn't receiving adequate support at this other school...and that conversation with him made me realize how much I was missing out on by not going back to San Jose.

I called him when I made the decision to go back to San Jose State for graduate school...and at some point throughout the conversation I realized that I may not be able to get in because of my grades. As always, he offered another route for me to take in order for me to get in. I started to ask him about having to write appeal letters or having to appeal to the admissions office in order for me to get in...and he kept reminding me to wait and see what happens with my application first. Throughout that entire conversation, he kept having to remind me to calm down and not get stressed over it.

About a month and a half ago, I called Gonzaga in his office to ask him for some help in my application process into the department's graduate program. He wasn't in his office, so I thought I would call his cell phone. I hesitated because I didn't want to bother him. Then I quickly realized that he has never turned me down when I came to him for help. I may, in fact, be the last student he spoke to over the phone as he was on American soil. I called his cell phone...and he answered. After I asked him my first question he said "Monica...we may have to cut this short because I'm on a plane right now about to leave for Amsterdam." I smiled and asked "Gonzaga, you're travelling again?!" I remember how he was always talking about his travels and, most importantly, travelling to India to be with his mother. He would tell me about how she was sick and how he wanted to be by her side. I also remember seeing him the last time I saw him and being shocked at how long his side burns were!!! I asked him what his motivation was behind that...and he proceeded to tell me a story about how his nephews in India wanted to see what he would look like if he didn't cut them. And he didn't.

Throughout that conversation, before that plane took off for Amsterdam, he would put me on hold in order to listen to the announcements made over the intercom by the flight attendants. He finally told me that he had to go because it was only a matter of minutes before his plane pushed back from the gate. The last thing I said to him was "Thanks Gozanga. Have a safe trip!" Little did I know...that small "thanks" was how I would express my gratitude for everything he has ever done for me...and that I was wishing him a safe trip home and to heaven.

I was nothing but shocked when I learned of his passing...I immediately made some phone calls just to make sure it was true and it wasn't a joke that someone was playing on me. It was no surprise to me that he passed while travelling amongst his family. Those were some of the things I remember him talking about the most; his adventerous travels and his love for and longing to be around his family.

The things I would have said to Gonzaga had I known that that would be the last time I spoke with him. The gratitude I would have expressed...the stories I would have shared. I loved talking to him. I loved going into his office to ask about an assignment that I had submitted to him the semester before and finding out that it had probably made its way to his "circular file"...his fancy name for a trash can. Every time he mentioned how things ended up in his "circular file" it always reminded me that it was okay to not look back and move on to bigger and better things. I'll always remember hearing his voice echoing throughout the halls of our department...and how his smile and laugh were both so contagious. He always made me smile and laugh...and always reminded me to slow down and let things happen naturally. He was always so eager to listen...and support me in anything I did.

I was looking forward to taking graduate classes from him and coming to him for more support throughout my studies. I am extremely grateful to have ever crossed paths with him. The lessons he has taught me in and out of the classroom are ones that I will take with me for the rest of my life. I'm thankful that his family was able to share him with the world. I am humbled and grateful for the opportunities and experiences I had with Gonzaga...and I am saddened for those who have never had the chance to meet and learn from him. I offer my utmost condolensces to his family, friends, and students. Our lives have been deeply impacted by Gonzaga and his legacy and wisdom will continue to live within all of us.

May you rest in peace, Gonzaga.

Monica Bugaoan

San Jose State University, Class of 2008.

On Dr. da Gama's passing

I wasn't heavily involved with Gonz, but felt I knew him fairly well. He and I worked to bring the Signs of Hope summer camp to about forty youth, mainly from foster families, many summers. There was an offhanded generosity about him that allowed him to take a quiet leadership role with ease. While he didn't appear to take himself overly seriously, he wasn't a guy to be trifled with. His commitment to 'Kingdom work' was made evident in his continual presence and attention. He could make what seemed to be an offhand remark, but on reflection was exactly what needed to be said to put a meeting back on track.

If he weren't such a strong, committed Christian, I'd be far sadder about his passing. The Gonz has simply moved on.

Kevin Arnold

I miss you Gonz

I remember Gonz as a part of my life for as long I can remember understanding what an extended family means. Gonz is my mom’s cousin, but over the past 10 years or so I’ve really come to think of him more as my own peer, too. He was such a connector – bringing together different generations, different cultures, different ways of thinking, different experiences. He changed hats better than anyone I know. Gonz was a mentor to many young people, including me. Somehow he managed to be old enough to have experience, while young enough, “hip enough,” that I was willing to listen to him. He encouraged me to make some of the most meaningful decisions I’ve made so far:

• In college, he helped me write my first grant proposal. I remember our late night phone calls as we included the “grant winning buzz words” he recommended. In the end, I did win a scholarship to study in Goa for the summer! That opportunity allowed me to learn about my research topic, my family, and probably most importantly, myself. Even until now, Gonz was my sounding board as I worked through many ideas, including lessons learned during that meaningful summer.

• A year later, Gonzi talked me through my decision to move to California after graduation, where I lived about an hour and a half from him. I can’t possibly explain what an impact Gonzi had on me during those two years. Gonz always made me feel like I was worth the long drive. In Berkeley, he showed me around his old hangouts and told me about his struggles and successes there, convincing me that I might be able to make it there, too. He’d regularly take me out to dinner (I was poor), walk with me around the lake, come to BBQs and parties, and talk with me about “life in general.” Our Thanksgiving road trip of 2003 was especially meaningful – he made me drive the whole last half (from 12:30 -6:30 am) while he snored in Sally’s passenger seat! But the conversations we shared were worth
everything.

I would often hear about one of his classes, “Creating a Meaningful Life,” which helped me along in doing just that. He loved meeting my friends in the Bay Area, and they loved him, too. Also in California, Gonz helped me connect with Sancho, who I didn’t know as well as Gonz before moving down. I liked thinking we were a family threesome. Gonz and Sancho still rank as two of my most fun cousins ever!!

• Most recently, Gonz was always talking me through my academic plan. Along with Ranae, he proof-read my application essays that helped me get into the program I’m in now. He was continuing to advise me about career paths and specialty areas as he went to India this summer. Since he's been away, I’ve been writing lists of the things I needed to ask him about when he comes back…there’s so much I still have to learn from Gonzi!

I’ve always considered Gonz as someone who rallied for the needs of underrepresented people. He was the first person I knew who championed rights of people with all types of abilities and disabilities. He never missed an opportunity to be inclusive, never left someone out. I really think that my drive to serve underserved populations stems from Gonzi’s example – I think we come from a family that defines “achievement” in a fairly traditional way, and Gonz broke ground in redefining those terms. Knowing Gonz was an activist, I felt like I could be one, too!

Gonz was important to me because he was important to family. When Gonz was off in Minnesota, I remember feeling like someone in our family was missing. When he came back, I saw how happy everyone in our family was: how my mom would gush in Portuguese, how my dad would cook up something special. When I was away in Bolivia, Gonz was one of the people who took the time to help Grandma write me letters. Seeing his handwriting all along the aerogram, with her shaky signature at the bottom, convinced me of what a loving family I have. Gonz brought us together and reminded us how good we are.

With Gonz around, I always felt like I was worthwhile. Gonz had a way of making me feel special every time I spoke with him. Gonz always listened to my problems and enthusiastically offered his opinion. In many ways, he knew me better than any other family member. His advice had just the right balance of flavors: conservative Indian family, young person in America, enough distance for perspective, and overall kindness. He was someone I was willing to listen to because I really felt like he understood and cared.

There are lots of lessons I’ve learned from Gonzi. One thing about Gonz is that he worked hard to define who he was and be respectful of himself. Most of the time, it didn’t seem easy – I guess it’s that way for everyone who really tries. Gonz was a trusted friend because he genuinely liked people. What a powerful idea, to actively and genuinely find worth in everyone you know! I’m not saying I didn’t hear complaints sometimes, but I did notice an unwavering faith in every single person’s intrinsic value. I hope I can live in an equally engaged, nurturing way.

Over the past ten years or so, I’ve really come to rely on Gonz for support and guidance. I’m shocked and sad that Gonz isn’t with me anymore. I still really need him. I look forward to finding support among all Gonz’s friends and family, and in knowing that he’s still supporting me, just in a different way. Gonz has taught me so much, and although I wish he could teach me so much more, I’m going to try to keep growing in the ways he would have been proud of.

Rachael De Souza,

Seattle, WA