My fleeting meetings with Gonzy

Inspired by Nikhil’s (Gonzy’s and my nephew) lovely article in this blog, touching upon the nephew-uncle relationship and beyond, thought I’ll quickly pen a few thoughts about Gonzy, since he spent the last 20 hours of his life in my home. Just by way of introduction, my sister is married to Gonzy’s brother Jose (Nikhil’s father) who resided in Mombasa. I had the pleasure of hosting Gonzy in Nairobi for under a day on his way back from Mombasa to Goa via Nairobi.

Although I do not intend this to be a chronological record of events that unfolded, thought I’ll mention some events fresh in my memory, thereby hoping to preserve them. I picked Gonzy and Nikhil up at the Nairobi airport on Sunday late morning and got to chatting about his stay in Mombasa. Gonzy was most thrilled about his Safari in Tsavo, and I’m happy that he spent some of the last few days of his life enjoying and seeing the best of nature and animals in their most natural habitat. Throughout his trip from the airport to my home, I remember Gonzy trying to gather in as much of his surroundings as possible and absorbing each moment to its fullest. Gonzy and I got into a lengthy discussion about the Famous Five’s habits in the wild, and what animals were seen readily and where, along with the individuality of the various gameparks around Kenya. Gonzy was fascinated with what he had seen in the Kenyan wilds and had promised to return back, along with a friend from the US. I sincerely hope that he has a much better view of the wild from wherever he is today.

I’ve not known Gonzy for too long. However, we were meeting more and more frequently in the last few years in Goa, since Gonzy was visiting Goa more often, including in the festive season of Christmas, which coincided with my yearly visits to Goa. During Gonzy’s visit to Nairobi, I did comment on the same and the fact that it was so great to re-kindle family relationships. Maybe, it had to do with passing on of experience to the next generation of nephews and nieces in Goa, maybe it was catching up with family and what Gonzy had missed during a onetime prolonged absence from Goa. Or maybe, something completely different, which only Gonzy could explain in his unimitable combination of US-accented English and Portuguese. Whatever the reason, I’m sure our extended families in Goa were only richer for the experience.

Children have always captivated Gonzy and they in turn have always been attached to him. I’ve seen him form strong bonds with his young nephews and they have looked up to him for inspiration and advice. Unassuming by nature, Gonzy has never been forthcoming about his professional and work related achievements. Consequently, this blog, though untimely by cause of origin, has been an eye-opener to me, especially in relation to what Gonzy has been keeping himself busy with in his professional life.

When embarking on this article, I was tempted to share the exchanges and events that led to his untimely demise on that fateful Monday morning, but decided against it, since I’d like to remember Gonzy from the limited and joyous times my family and I had the day before, wherein we exchanged interesting conversations, a lunch and dinner with Gonzy, whilst exploring a little bit of Nairobi. In the short span of time we had together, Gonzy made time to discuss interests and various other topics with Alysia, my daughter of 12, as well as Neil, my son of 10.

Alysia and Neil were the last to say a formal goodbye to Gonzy, before they left for school. Little did we all know how final it would be. Knowing Gonzy’s attachment to the younger generation, perhaps, it was only fitting.

Aulio Martins

Nairobi, Kenya.

A Man Who Cared

Gonzaga was a kind and wonderful man and his life has left a mark on my heart as well as my knowledge and work. He went out of his was to help me when I needed it, even if I did not deserve it. If I went to his office nervous or worried about my studies, I always left with renewed confidence due to his kind words. His impact on my work was much farther reaching than he can ever imagine. He was my role model as well as my mentor and I will miss him.

Marla Howard
San Jose, CA

Condolences

Dear Paul, Scottie, and Family:

Our hearts are deeply saddened by sudden loss of our Brother in Christ and Dear Friend Gonzaga. I had the honor of knowing him through helping to faciliate our Impact Bible Study Newcomers Table. We will miss his warm caring spirit and sharp wit that would make us all feel warm and welcome. He was like a brother to many and will be deeply missed but always remembered.

In Christ Love & Ours,

JoAnna Quan

CA, US

Finishing Well... A Tribute to our beloved Gonz

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Life's ultimate goal is never just running the race, it is finishing well. Gonz, it is easy to see you have finished well. Your life has produced an abundance of fruit in your amazing earthly journey. You touched each one of us deeply... you were a shining star, thank you.

In an attempt to pay tribute to Gonz, and as I reflect on a wonderfully unique and compassionate man, may I say that a first time encounter with Gonz practically guaranteed lasting friendship. People were simply his passion... people of all walks... family, friends or acquaintances... and he was determined to use his God-given talents to make an everlasting imprint on each life he touched. He had an incredible zest for life, and purposely viewed life with an eternal perspective, being true to the call of being a living sacrifice. Gonz exemplified...

"If a man's gift is ... serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully..." (excerpt from Romans 12)

Gonz was not only committed to caring for others (which he did exceptionally well) or to spurring others on in their life's journey. He possessed an unquenchable thirst for greater knowledge and understanding.

2 Peter 1: 5-8,10,11 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ... Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I will miss your beautiful, contagious spirit, Gonz. I will miss your glowing face as you uttered my name, Mags! I will never forget your indomitable spirit and your uniqueness. With calm assuredness I know you received a rich welcome from our Lord Jesus as you crossed over, slipped your hand in his, and heard him exclaim, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Marileigh "Maggie" Steadman

Santa Rosa, CA

My memory of Gonz

I will always remember being greeted by Gonz's warm smile. I always felt so welcomed by his presence and uplifted by his encouraging words. He was a man who emanated God's joy and passion. He was a big encouragement when I served as a counselor at Royal Family Kids Camp. My fondest memory was when Gonz and I discovered we have the same blackberry phone. I had fun playing as "IT" and showing him the features on the phone. He was absolutely thrilled when he found out he could change his display screen to apple green. He had such childlike joy and excitement. I will miss his presence but have comfort to see him in heaven one day.

Ines Shih,

Sunnyvale, CA

Gonzaga Memorial

Well, Gonzaga came across to me and the family as a very affable person. We met him at a couple of times at family parties in Goa-India and he seemed full of life. He was a very well read person.

Well his death was quite a shock to us all.

Nonetheless, That 's how life is. All good things must one day come to an end.

But yes we thank the Good Lord for giving us the gift of Gonzaga.

Gonzaga, May Your Good Soul Rest In Peace.

Alex Pacheco and Family

Margao-Goa, India

Dr. da Gama

Dr. da Gama, I called him and he would say "GONZZAGA!." I loved him so much that one day I asked him to marry me. And yesterday, hearing of his passing wished I had tried harder to talk him into it. He just smiled that broad smile that covered his whole face and didn't even answer. As I read the blogs, I tear up realizing that his life was not all about me. In a sense you may think I am being egotistical, but the truth is as you all know, when Gonzaga was with you, you were the only one and it was all about you. He was so engaged in the moment and if you were ever lucky enough to be in his moment you were pulled into the very essence of the now. I love Gonzaga and I cannot feel bad that he has left us since I am so grateful for the time he gave to me. And to his friends, students, coworkers and family, I promise you I will only remember his time here as precious and loving, engaging, humanitarian, joyful and strong~~a great friend, a great mentor. What a gift we share.

Respectfully,

Karon Fleming, Office Coordinator

Department of Physics and Astronomy

San Jose State University

God takes the best...

GOD TAKES THE BEST AND LEAVES THE REST BEHIND TO BECOME BETTER

--- by Dr.Silvestre Nazare, Germany

On Monday 22 June, almost a week before his death, Gonzi as we used to call him, wrote a mail to his brother Fr. Anand and I quote “I have begun realizing that I want to spend as much time as I can with Mae and you and with those I love and with whom I am not guaranteed much time”. Was his inner voice whispering to him that Providence had other plans for him? We shall never know. All we know for sure is this: that we shall sorely miss him, his jovial personality, his smile and his humour and most of all his willingness to listen and help. He detested conflicts and always looked for ways of conciliation and compromise and mediation.

On the blog that his friends in America have put on the Internet Gonzi has been described as a “Big Guy”. That he was; not only in his frame but in what counts most namely in his heart and in his head. There was something uniquely natural about him that put everyone at ease and filled the Gama Pais house when he was around. An exemplary and devoted son, he took a Sabbatical to spend almost six months with his Mother in Moira performing all sorts of household chores. He used to call her sometimes twice a day to chat and cheer her up.

It is really amazing- to quote his brother Fr. Anand – “that he almost lived his life for others in the family as well as in his profession”. This was probably precisely because of the difficulties he had to face as a child and student. He had to through the trauma of seeing the suffering and the untimely death at a young age of his father Caetano.Not deterred by any obstacles, he went on to study Agriculture at Dapholi in Maharashtra and Delhi and then on a Scholarship for a Doctoral Course in Entomology at Berkley, California. He however discovered that his vocation was connecting with people; so ultimately he did his PHD in Sociology at the University of Minnesota. Being a passionate Goan and proud of his roots in Moira, he preferred the sand and the seas of California and joined the Faculty of the State University of California at San Jose.

To die at such a young age means to have many dreams and hopes and plans unfulfilled and yet his Mother and brothers and nephews and niece who adored him were able to meet him one last time. And if we had to go up a thousand steps on our knees to bring our Gonzi back we would do it. But that is not possible. So we can only say: dear Gonzi, although you are no longer there where you were, you are now everywhere where we are, for we shall always remember and never forget you.

It is true that his sudden death has left the family and his dear ones speechless, distraught and stunned. Only the mothers among you’ll will fathom what this loss means to his mother and how devastated she is. But we also know that Gonzi , who never looked back and thought so positively, would like us to go about our daily lives and not be paralysed by sorrow. We have to be grateful that we had him as our friend and relative at least for a while. That God in the words of the Prophet Isaiah said “I have called you by name; you are mine” at such a young age is not for us to question but to accept.

Adieus Gonzi; may the Angels take you to Paradise and our Faith tells us that we shall all meet in the end when we come to dwell in the House of the Lord.

Fr. Anand da Gama Pais,

Goa, India.

Gonzaga's brother.

Goodbye neighbor and friend

I was stunned to hear the sad news of Gonzaga. We grew up in the same village of Moira and attended the same school (St. Britto’s, Mapusa). While we were not very close during our growing up years, we had an opportunity to draw closer during our years together in Minnesota, where I lived and worked at the time and where Gonzaga was pursuing his Phd.

Gonzaga was very close to my children, Jeremy and Justin(very small at the time). He was particularly very fond of my older son Jeremy who had a pet name for him which I now cannot recall. Jeremy at the time was just diagnosed with autism, a developmental disorder. I’m sure Gonzaga’s sensitivity towards Jeremy had much to do with his research work in recreational therapy and the work he was doing with people with disabilities.

I remember that Gonzaga enjoyed my cooking. He would visit us often, especially during the weekends. I remember us staying up till the early hours of the morning engaging in deep discussions on a myriad of topics. Gonzaga loved a little bit of “village gossip” too. He would readily soak up any news of Moira I would share with him. We laughed a lot about our village ways, our strange customs. Gonzaga was a true intellectual and a very sensitive individual.

Sadly, we lost touch again when he moved to San Jose and my own life circumstances changed following my divorce. I am learning a lot more about him as a person as I read the postings from those who knew and loved him.

Gonzaga, I have already prayed for you and will continue to do so in the coming days.

May the Lord comfort his family, especially his mother, who I can imagine must be totally shattered. I know how fond he was of his mother. I shall certainly pray for her. May mother Mary comfort her and intercede for her for the grace she needs to get through this sorrow, for Mother Mary understands what it is like to lose a precious child at a young age.

Regards,
Jaime DeMelo
Dubai, UAE