As I write this, I’m sitting on an airplane en route from San Francisco to Denver. While my flight was delayed, I picked up my cell phone and called Gonzaga’s office at San Jose State University. I wanted to listen to his outgoing voicemail message one more time before my departure. Although I didn’t leave a message, it was SO comforting to hear his voice again. As I boarded the plane, and settled into my seat, I prayed. I prayed for my dear friend Gonzaga and his family. I thanked God for the gift of Gonzaga’s presence in my life. During take off, I stared at the beautiful picture of Gonzaga with my son, Dylan, which was taken at Dylan’s baptism in 2002. Seeing Gonzaga’s smiling face again brought joy to my heart, and tears to my eyes. As I sit on the airplane thousands of feet above the ground, I see beautiful, white fluffy clouds from my window. For a moment, it looks exactly like Heaven. Suddenly, I am at peace. You see, for each time I fly I feel safe, because I ALWAYS feel closer to God and Heaven. Today’s flight was even more special, because I felt closer than ever to my dear friend, Gonzaga.
I remember the first time I met Dr. Gonzaga da Gama. It was the spring of 2000, and I was a graduate student in Dr. Glancy’s class at San Jose State University. Gonzaga was “auditioning” for one of his greatest roles as professor, mentor, and friend. It was the first and only time I ever saw Gonzaga in a suit and tie, and I just remember being SO taken by his passionate presentation about the importance of full social inclusion for persons with disabilities. The intensity of Gonzaga’s presentation that evening was so powerful that he ultimately landed the job at SJSU where I had the complete privilege of being one of his students. While at SJSU, I had the opportunity to take numerous classes from Gonzaga who also served as my graduate advisor. Despite having many challenges in my personal life while attending grad school, Gonzaga NEVER gave up on me. Always approachable, supportive, and kind, Gonzaga CONSTANTLY pushed me to be the VERY best! He was a tough professor with high expectations, but I completely THRIVED participating in such a rich and challenging learning environment.
Often outspoken, and ALWAYS an advocate for the underserved, Gonzaga was a BRILLIANT scholar with an undying passion for research. So much in fact, that he would often call me to share new ideas for potential research studies. Sometimes we would meet at Starbucks, and Gonzaga would whip out his laptop, and read me his latest findings!
I was always in awe of Gonzaga’s intellect; so gifted and talented. When I was around Gonzaga, I felt as if I was in the midst of a total academic “rock star!” He would often share stories with me about his other “rock star” friends; many of whom were featured in the text books we read in Gonzaga’s class! Great leisure scholars like Dr. Stuart Schleien, Dr. Leo McAvoy, and Dr. John Datillo were ALWAYS referenced in Gonzaga’s classes, as he DEEPLY admired and respected their work.
I remember when I finally graduated, Gonzaga told me that I was no longer one of his students, but I was now one of his colleagues! I felt SO proud to have him as my confidant and friend! Gonzaga was ALWAYS my BIGGEST “cheerleader” at San Jose State and beyond! His influence on my life as a student, professional, and human being has left an indelible mark on my soul.
Some of my greatest memories of Gonzaga might surprise you, but what follows are tender reflections of time spent with my dear friend. There was that summer when Gonzaga and I took an accelerated anatomy class together at Chabot College. We would carpool together to class, have lunch, and laugh hysterically when we would come up with goofy names and acronyms for certain body parts and systems. I can still remember looking at him during our all-important anatomy labs. We TRIED to be SO serious and studious, but sometimes I’d look at Gonzaga’s face and we’d both break out laughing! Gonzaga had a delightful sense of humor, and an infectious laugh! I also remember the time we found an injured baby bird in the parking lot after class. It was obvious that this bird had fallen out of its nest, and was hurt and scared. We both were SO worried about this little bird. We quickly scooped him up, and I later took the little fellow to the Humane Society to be rehabilitated back into the wild. This was the first (but not last time) that I would see Gonzaga’s genuine love of birds.
One of the things I absolutely LOVED about Gonzaga was that no matter how busy he was, he ALWAYS made time to be a great source of comfort and support to his friends. Throughout my friendship with Gonzaga, I experienced many disappointments and heartaches. From a painful divorce; professional set-backs and single-handedly raising a very headstrong teenager, to facing my mom’s devastating battle with breast cancer in 2008. Through it all, Gonzaga was ALWAYS there for me to lend his genuine compassion and support. Just being the amazing, sensitive, and generous soul that he was made Gonzaga’s presence in my life SUCH a blessing during those difficult times.
While attending Catholic school, my son Dylan decided to convert to Catholicism. There was just one problem. During that time, I didn’t have anyone in my life that could possibly be Dylan’s “sponsor/God-parent.” When I shared my dilemma with Gonzaga, he enthusiastically replied “I’m Catholic!” Without hesitation, Gonzaga proceeded to tell me that he would be delighted to be there for Dylan. It was Easter Eve 2002. It was such a beautiful service, and such a precious memory of my dear angel, Gonzaga.
In November 2005, my all-time favorite band the Rolling Stones came to the Bay Area for their “Bigger Bang” concert tour. I had an extra ticket and invited Gonzaga to join me and my family for this once-in-a-lifetime concert experience! I didn’t even know if Gonzaga liked the Stones, but he excitedly accepted the invitation, and proceeded to rock out the rest of the night! I remember dancing and singing with him in the aisles as “Tumbling Dice” played. In the words of Gonzaga it was “AWESOME!”
I also have fond memories of the MANY wonderful meals I shared with Gonzaga at the “Crazy Buffet” Chinese restaurant. We would often celebrate our birthdays together there. Although our birthdays were just a few days apart, Gonzaga and I always took delight in the similarity of our classic “Libra traits!” In so many ways, Gonzaga was the big brother I ALWAYS wanted, but never had!
One of the things me and Gonzaga shared was the desire to put our families first. Although I never had the opportunity to meet any of his family, Gonzaga ALWAYS spoke of his family with such admiration and joy. From his dear mother whom he loved and cherished with ALL his heart to his lovely cousin in Seattle who was like a sister to him, and his precious nephews in India, when Gonzaga spoke of his family, he spoke with a tremendous amount of love. Last year, I became my mom’s sole care provider as she bravely battled breast cancer. During this same time, Gonzaga’s beloved mother was dealing with her own health issues. While on sabbatical last year, Gonzaga selflessly took care of his mother’s every need. We would often speak about the challenges of being the sole care provider to an aging/ailing parent. We both agreed that it was the role of a lifetime, and the greatest gift we could give our mothers.
Gonzaga was a simple, deeply spiritual man with a BIG heart. Ironically, it was his heart that connected all of us to him, and ultimately it was his heart that unexpectedly took Gonzaga back home to our Heavenly Father last week. Gonzaga’s heart was overflowing with love for his work, friends, family (including his beloved “keets”), God, AND humanity. Gonzaga was a tremendous example of what it means to live life to the fullest, and to do God’s work here on earth.
I am comforted by the memories of my last conversation with Gonzaga. He called me just days before his departure to exotic, far away lands. We spoke on the phone for nearly 40 minutes. We talked about work, family, and our beloved pets. Gonzaga absolutely ADORED his little parakeets! He shared with me how he just LOVED going to the pet store, and watching the birds, and looking for the latest and greatest toys and accessories for his precious “keets.” We both agreed how WONDERFUL it is to have the unconditional love of a pet. One of the last things he said to me that afternoon was “I’m going to MISS my keets!”
Just like your beloved “keets,” the time has come my dear Gonzaga to spread your wings and fly. Although I am deeply saddened to have lost a dear friend here on earth, I am comforted in knowing that I have gained a TRUE angel in Heaven! May God bless and protect our beloved Gonzaga and his cherished family. May Gonzaga’s kind and generous spirit fill our hearts with love and compassion today and ALWAYS! I found this poem online (written by “Andie”), and wanted to share it with all of you, as I feel it best represents Gonzaga; the man with wings; an angel among us.
With your wings held high
You put a smile on my face
With all your might
You always left your trace
Never did I see you frown
For your smile was never upside down
Why is it that you loved me so
was I part of your soul
You were always by my side
And although you are no longer on my shoulder
I can still feel your presence
Your fluff warming my heart
I will always miss you
And I know the favor will be returned some day
For when I see you once again
It will be in the sky where
You will once again hold your wings up hig
Christine Lewman (San Mateo, California)
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