The last 10 days of Gonz’s life with Gonz - Nikhil Da Gama Pais

Where do I start??? What do I say???

In the last 3 days I have seen and experienced how life can turn a complete 180 without one even expecting anything like this.

I am just writing this well and truly from my heart.

Gonz may biologically be my uncle. But only I know that to me he was much more…a father figure to say the least.

My dad works in Kenya. The summer hols in goa my mum and brothers came to visit him but I could not due to my exams in college.

It was when he realized that I would be missing my time with my dad that he decided that he would accompany me to visit him so that I can bond with dad.

We left goa on 19th… we reached kenya.Mombasa that’s where my dad is. He only wanted one thing to do on this trip. Go for an African safari. That was his only wish for this trip. He never asked for anything more.

We spent a lot of time during the day together. Practically the whole day since during the week my dad would work.

He shared a lot of himself with me in these days than I think he had ever done earlier.

Told me all about his earlier days of struggle and what it took him to get to the States and all the hard work that he put in not only to get there but for many years after even getting there.

He never had a godfather to support him anywhere be it in India during his studies or once he reached there. He had lost his dad at the age of 15.the only help and support was from his mum and brothers.

He stood up on his own feet. And stood up the hard way.

He told me all this so that it would motivate me. Make me work hard. Make me go further… push myself a little more.

He would hate it when I would just waste my time either continuously watching sports or just lazing around whenever he used to call from the States.

Now that he had a lot of time to spend with me on a personal level during this holiday he spoke to me at length at times explaining to me how what choices I make now will make a difference in the long run…

He told me so much about his life in the u.s...His life with his room mates, Scottie sharp and Paul baty…

What a difference they had made in his life…how they took turns in taking care of him when he was sick and had a broken shoulder… how they innumerable many times dropped him and picked him from the airport and small things like that.

Listening to him only I could truly tell he loved these guys.

We also opened up about his other friends. paul chen, shu,alfred,ranjan,ines,j.d,,sancho…

Our cousin Maria and her family in Seattle who he had a very special bond with… very very special one…

How all of them were his family away from family…

I thank each and every one of them… some of whom I personally don’t even know…actually most of them…

Many times during this holiday he would take me to facebook and show me all his friends…show me their pictures… tell me all about them… what was special in them… how Scottie loves to work at e-bay…and loves to go skiing. About his car…how Paul was amazing at tennis.

Showed me pics of paul in his tennis kit…and lots and lots more

He was a great motivator. The best I have ever known and his students will agree with me on this. He had more faith in me and my abilities and in my brothers than even I did…

He was like a father to my 2 brothers and me…

I still remember how last year he made so many trips with me to my engineering school when my admissions process was going on… at times he would just sit in the car and wait till it was done or sit by my side and help me remain calm… he dint have to do all this but that was gonz.. the guy who cared to the max…at that time I dint realize it but today when I slowly reflect and try to get myself to accept it I think that he played one of the most crucial roles…

He did small things but important things… he was a guy you could always talk to no matter what the topic was and I experienced it in Africa…

He was most connected with mae.His mum…he always kept adding 2:30 hours to the time in Kenya so that he could think of what his mum would be doing in goa.. Whether she would be sleeping, praying, watching television… he knew it all since he spent almost all day with her… he kept her motivated. Got her puzzles like sudoku and word finders from there so that she could keep her mind working well.

He once mentioned to me this time that the only regret he had was not visiting her more earlier and now he was trying to make up for it by coming as often as possible…

He came 2 times a year without fail in the last 4-5 years.

When she was sick last year he spent around 6 months in goa just being by her side. Never leaving her even once.

He called her 2 times a day every single day without fail irrespective of where he was…

She is in shock… I request everyone to please pray for her…

We went on a 2 day safari together… you could tell that that was the best time of his holiday…. He loved animals…he loved nature… he would describe his experience as one of the best of his life… he had even decided that he wanted to come on another one with his friend Nicholas from Boston if I am not mistaken…

I guess God had other plans for him…

Another unique quality of him was that he always lived in the present. Never thought about the past. Never cared about what happened yesterday. Always looking forward to tomorrow…

He never ever lost his temper… never…

He tried to always look at things from a positive point of view…

He was a true gentleman in all respects…

He left a mark on most people’s lives with whom he came in contact with…

On our way back to India which he was very excited about since he wanted to see Mae dearly we made a one day stop in Nairobi.

On Monday morning he just collapsed in the bathroom…he was literally in my arms… I could do nothing about it. We rushed him to hospital but.

I still remember how we watched a football match together the previous night. u.s.a v/s brazil. It was the confederations cup final… he dint know a lot about football but eagerly was watching it.

We slept together on the same big bed. He even mentioned to me before saying good night- get some sleep nik tomorrow is going to be a crazy night. He said it in relation to our travel the next day i.e. Monday when we were leaving for Bombay since the whole night would have gone traveling and at the airports. From the next morning everything has been crazy but a crazy which cannot properly be described.

After he passed away I opened his wallet to see if I could find some documents which were needed by the authorities instead I found pictures of my brothers and me in there… I guess he loved the 3 of us more than we could ever imagine.

I have just tried to get my thoughts together and write this in memory of the big guy…

I don’t think I will ever be able to recover from this…just taking each day as it comes. No idea what tomorrow will bring… I only know that it’s going to be really really hard…Please pray for the Gama Pais family which is in shock and is devastated…

I apologize for any errors of any sorts be it with names or anything that might be there. I am no writer or anything… just an 18 year old college student who spent the last days of gonz with gonz.

He is up there and looking at us…They say God works in mysterious ways and has His reason for everything… everything that He does is perfect… I am sure it is…

I thank Him for allowing us to enjoy Gonz for the last 45 years…

Like most of you I will never be able to understand why God did what He did…

The sadness and sorrow of his loss will never go away with time…

God wanted him so much that He could not wait anymore….

Thank you Gonz for all the laughter, jokes, motivation, understanding, love, caring and everything that you brought along with you…

No one and nothing will ever be able to replace the relationship we shared… I thank God for giving us this past holiday together which I will never ever be able to forget.

It started right from the lounge at the airport in goa and culminated on Monday morning…

This article may not be good with regards to literary skill and other aspects but is one which has come straight from my heart. I have just spoken out everything what I feel about Gonz. Thank you Gonz. We will always love and remember you.

Nikhil

Goa, India