The Essence of the Big Guy

Words cannot articulate the amount of respect and admiration I have for Gonzaga. He was my advisor, my mentor, and my friend. Gonzaga and I had a unique bond which cannot be defined. Gonzaga, or “Big Guy” as I called him due to his hierarchy of knowledge over my own, was the most genuine guy you could meet. His character or “essence” was that of a kind, humorous, scholarly, and carefree individual who always went out of his way for his students. His support during my internship was insurmountable and he filled me with confidence as I completed the final requirements toward my graduation. My memories of him will not ebb, they will continue to flow.

Here’s to Chinese food in Clovis.

Here’s to sharing candy from Goa.

Here’s to time spent on auto-ethnographies.

Here’s to your improving opinion of me from lazy undergraduate student to well adjusted graduate student as you so frequently joked.

Here’s to my unofficial thesis defense with you at Monsieur Beans.

Here’s to challenging me, yet supporting me through everything.

While these memories maybe simple, they are the memories I have and the experiences we shared.

Here’s to you….“Big Guy”.

Matthew Milde

San Jose, CA

Mentor and friend

I was a commercial recreation student at San Jose State, graduating in 2007. Although only having a few classes with Gonzaga, I shared my last course at San Jose State with him. During my final semester Gonzaga became a mentor and a friend to me. He assisted with my internship, as well as my development into a professional. Gonzaga was a wonderful professor as well as a one of a kind human being. His hard work and dedication to the field of recreation was amazingly remarkable.

Since my graduation I have had the chance to build a professional relationship with Gonzaga, meeting with him a few times at functions as well as visit his classes and talk about my profession. In May I was lucky enough to spend about an hour with Gonzaga before and after his class. During this time Gonzaga and I spoke about life, and how my career was going. I was lucky to spend this time with Gonzaga and do wish his family and friends the best.

Gonzaga will long be remembered by myself as someone who helped me with my career decisions, as well as a friend. His voice and smile will long be remembered.

Ryan Davies

We will miss you!

I have not had much of a chance to talk to Gonzaga these past several years, but have many fond memories of when we were in the same home group at the Vineyard (Palo Alto). I will miss his infectious smile, and how he sincerely cared for people. I think he personified the art of listening. I regret that I did not get a chance to catch up with him when I saw him briefly at our church recently, only a smile and wave across the rows of chairs. I did not realize until I saw the blog that we share the same birthday! I will smile and remember him on my birthday.

Sandy Kitagawa
San Jose, CA

Considering a Friend

Today I consider how to let go of a good friend ...

I remember the contagious way Gonzaga celebrated people, blessing those around him with a perennially buoyant and purposeful spirit. I am thankful for experiencing his advocacy in prayer - a powerful compassion for people coupled with a loving insistence to our living God. Today, my heart aches as I wish for the time to learn much more from him.

I celebrate his peace and joy at being home with the Lord and oddly am just a little jealous he beat me there. I will miss my friend in this life.

Reflecting on our time together, I would like to see his caring, infectious smile one more time ... and look forward to the day I will.

Jeff Burkebile
San Francisco, CA

Going home

I was thinking about the short journey of life, I shared with Gonz thru the Signs of Hope camp over the yrs.

I remember when were together at Bayshore Ministry, and we laughed about our shared experiences with the kids over the yrs and how he was looking forward to coming back to camp this yr. His smile and laughter will be missed. For Paul & Scotty during this time of bereavement,I am confident God shall take care of You...

Blessings,

Larry Moody

East Palo Alto, CA

In honor of Gonzaga

This is definitely a sad passing. I thought I would honor Gonzaga by writing my memory of him.

My enduring memory of Gonzaga is that of a consistently happy person. And a person happy in his faith as well. He grew in his child-like faith, even as he achieved his intellectual goals (tenured at SJ State with international speaking gigs) - proving to the rest of us that the two can indeed happily co-exist!

Now his "fight" is over. Yet, our "fight" still continues. May we use his life as an inspiration to grow in our faith till the very end!

In Him,

Sandeep Poonen

Milibrae, CA

I lost a friend today

I lost a friend today.

I lost a friend today and it hurts.

And the depth of pain and loss is both a reflection of, and a tribute to, my friend.

Most will write about Gonz's love for others. And this needs to be recorded for few ever made an impact on community as he did. But right now, my loss is more selfish.

For it was Gonz (and I know I will not be the only one to say this) it was Gonz who listened to me. He cared. He was accepting. He reached out time and time again. Even when I avoided … he reached. He loved many and he cared about me. Even more tragic, I don't remember ever telling him of the comfort he gave.

I wish I could tell him how I valued his ear, his voice, and his council. I wish I could see that focus and devotion to God and others once again. And his values and beliefs were that tangible … his body and actions were the physical manifestation of a man committed. Committed to God, committed to others, and committed to me.

The world seems smaller now.

I miss how he use to come home, take off his shoes by the front door, and ask me about my day.

I miss my friend.

Scott Sharp

Sunnyvale, CA

What can I say?

Wow. What can I say? I am so shocked and taken off guard by the news of Gonzi's passing. It is still hard to believe and I keep thinking about how I wish it wasn't true that he is gone.

Many of Gonz's friends and all of his family do not know me at all, but I want to say that I believe I am one of the many people, whose lives Gonz has touched. My brother, Paul, met Gonzi in his first year of college at Berkeley, and brought him down to So. Cal. to meet our family. I thought he was a nice guy when I first met him, but little did I know that he would be in our lives for over 20 years after that. Ever since then, I have felt a warm closeness to Gonz and looked forward to seeing him whenever he would join Paul in a visit down to So. Cal. I really did feel like he was a brother to me, and I told him that many times.

There are a few things that I remember the most about Gonz that I want to share. This is how I saw Gonz: He was joyful, serious, contemplative, empathetic, loving, kind, open-hearted, playful, smart, helpful. He was a good listener and really made me feel like he cared about me. For many years, I have struggled with various difficulties in my own life and each time Gonzi would be down in our area for a short visit, no matter how short, he would take a moment between all my kids running around needing my attention, and whatever event he was here for, to ask me sincerely how I was doing. He would sit and really listen and offer up some sound advice if needed, or encouraging words or hugs, or just a listening ear if he felt that's all I needed. He was very intuitive and insightful, brilliantly wise, very giving of himself from the heart, and he really cared.

Recently, I have been struggling with more trials and difficulty in my own life and Gonz has offered to be a listening ear and asked me to call him if there is ever anything I would like to talk about with someone who cares about me. I regret to say I didn't do it. I have thought about him a lot in this most difficult time of my life and thought about calling him many times over the last 6-8 months, but never just picked up the phone to do it. I sincerely regret that and wish that I would have gone with my gut instincts, knowing that he really meant what he said, and called him to talk. Why didn't I do it? I didn't want to bother him with my problems... only to him it would not have been a bother.

When Gonz was here for a visit over the holidays we didn't get much of a chance to talk like we have in the past. We have had 1-hour, 2-hour, 3-hour long conversations, just sitting in a living room over coffee and I really missed that time. I really wish I would have called him Things just got so busy. I really miss Gonzi and I miss the conversation that we would have had. I am very sad that he is gone, but I know that he is in Heaven, a much better place than here. So, my tears are bitter sweet. Here's to Gonzaga! He was a good man and a great friend to many. A great friend to me and my family. My thoughts and prayers go out to his friends and family who are hurting over this tragedy and loss.

Dorothy Borklund

Brea, CA

My fondest memories of Gonz

I have so much to share that I cannot even pinpoint one certain occasion of my fondest memories of Gonz. There are so many. To think that I only see him maybe once or twice a year during holidays and parties, sometimes at my house or at Paul's parents' house. I am a part of Paul Baty's family here in Southern California and I had the privilege of meeting someone like Gonz. Once he entered the room...you cannot ignore such a strong and sweet presence. He was very charismatic, intelligent, articulate, funny, down to earth, he had a way to make me laugh without even trying so hard, his energy is unbelievable, and once he talk to you... you feel that you're the only one in the room...he was so attentive. My last communication with him was thru facebook... he was a little down because a family member died but was excited because he was spending his summer with his mother in India.

I will truly miss you Gonz :-( ...thanks for the memories and laughters!

Amelia Deita

Fontana, CA

To one and all

To one and all, who have experienced the friendship and love of Gonzaga da Gama (Gonz):

As I have expressed to some and most recently at my Retirement party, that Gonz has always been to us, as one of our family and even as a son to us. He has shown all of us, the Baty, Salveron, and Deita families, special love and warmth that we can only experience as generated from those who have joined the ranks of God's family. There has always been a special bond, as I am sure that many of you all have experienced, too. Gonz never hesitated to extend the warmth of his love to everyone, with whom he has come into contact and Mely and I are not among the least of these.

Gonz has been a special brother and friend to our family, dating back to our first meeting with him on Thanksgiving, when Paul was a young student at Berkeley. Paul brought Gonz and his friend to our home in Monrovia, CA in his 3rd month of college. Since that time he has attended numerous family celebrations and parties even though the distance is so great. I will always remember his cordial and loving smile, that tends to bring you right into the presence of Jesus, as Gonz was always emulating a Christ-like love for all his fellow brothers and sisters-in-Christ, without respect for status or position in our society. Gonz was high society for sure, but you would never know it by his cordial nature. I can only think that God must have wanted Gonz to be with Him and couldn't wait another day.

God has His reasons for taking one like Gonz so early in his life and His reasons are always perfect. But, this will not diminish or take away our feeling of loss and sorrow, today. We must say only that it was a blessing from God to have allowed Gonz into our fellowship over these past years, even if only for the limited time it was. May each of us use this time to reflect on our own personal relationship with our Christian families and associations and realize the mortality we all share. We never know when our time will come and we must live as if every day will be our last one on this Earth. God is good and He has been especially good to Gonz and to us for having allowed him into our lives. May all the friends of Gonz be comforted today, as we place our steadfast hope and love in Jesus, extending Christ's love to all with whom we come into contact daily. I know that Gonz would want this for us. It is what we are here for, after all. I can hear Gonz in my mind's eye saying, "Go for it!" That's what he would do, 'encourage his friends' and pray for the best for us. God bless you all!

With much love and very fond memories, at this time of our great sorrow and loss,

Don and Mely Baty

Desert Hot Springs, CA

Details of Gonzaga's passing

We learned that Gonzaga passed away the morning of Monday, Jun 29, 2009 in Nairobi, Kenya.

He had been in Goa, India, spending the summer with his mom and family. From India, he travelled to Kenya with his nephew to visit his brother and go on a safari. After 10 days in Kenya on the morning of his return date back to Goa he collapsed and quickly passed away. The cause of death is not known for certain but is suspected to be heart attack.

The most pressing need as of this writing is for transporting his body back to Goa. Your prayers are appreciated for this process that requires coordination with the Kenyan authorities.

We will post more information as we learn the details.

You may share your thoughts, reflections, and prayers about Gonz by sending an email to gonzagamemorial@gmail.com. Your posting will later appear in this blog.

You may also send any notes of condolence directly to Gonzaga's mother at this address:

Getrudes Paes

Bambordem, Moira, Bardez,

GOA 403 507

India