Miss you Gonz

Gonz Gonz Gonz, may your most peaceful heart and soul here on earth serve you well in heaven my friend. I have always admired your compassion and brilliance and know in my heart that you continue to shine. I will always cherish the memories of your truest laughter and joy at the most simple of things, the melodious way you would say my name 'Eeth!', and the important place you put friends and family in your life. I miss you dearly Gonz... love, Ethan (I'm one of Gonz's close friends since our days at U.C. Berkeley in the early 90s).

Ethan Janson
soundkite@yahoo.com
Seattle, Wa

Message from an Impact friend

Gonzaga,

I still cannot understand that you will not came back to the Bay Area from your travels this summer.

Remember we had plans to meet up regularly and I would teach you more German, since you enjoyed studying my language so much, one of your many hobbies, your many passions.

Gonz, I will miss your "Wie geht's?" every single time you came to Impact,our Singles group at church.

You made me feel special Gonz! I will miss helping you to practice your new German sentence you were learning at your German class at San Jose State. You were a busy professor, but you still had time to take interest in other people, cultures and languages!

Gonz it was you, who always encouraged me to trust God for my job to remain here in the US. Thank you for sharing your story with me how God provided for you and how much you learned about God's love for foreigners working in the US and growing in trusting Jesus in the whole process.

I remember it, like it was yesterday, when I shared from the front at Impact that I believe that God collects all our tears about our broken dreams in jars of clay in front of his throne, all our sorrows have to pass the throne of our King first... I appreciated your honesty about your many tears and many broken dreams in your life. I know that deep down in your heart you prayed for a wife for many years, but God did not allow this to happen, I can only cry about this fact.

You were a true gentleman Gonz, you treated all the young ladies at Impact with a lot of respect.

Your German friend Gabrielle, the messenger

P.S.: See you next in our Fathers house in HEAVEN!

A true man

Gonz is a rare soul. He was one of those people that saw you. The first time I met him, I was struck by how real he was. When he asked you how you were doing, he really meant it. He wanted to hear the truth, not the casual "fine." My experience of Gonz was always that he wanted to connect with you; he was committed to letting you know you mattered to him. Gonz and I had wonderful, uplifting conversations about our personal, cultural, spiritual and political beliefs. I love that he called himself a Feminist. He understood the real definition as equality for all. This was a true man. He deeply felt and worked toward all people having what they need and having the freedom to participant in our world. Gonz walked his talk. I felt his passion when I listened to his thoughts and opinions. And boy, did I respect him for his eloquent speaking talent! Standing true to his belief in God, he was able to include the excluded with respect and love. Gonz worked to change the world. He saw he could make a difference...and we know, he did.

Thank you, Gonz, for every conversation I had with you. You always made me feel seen and heard. You inspire me. You remind me of all the good in the world. You model the way I strive to be. I have always looked up to you. Your effect on the world and my little part of it will be everlasting. My promise to you is to continue our work. Your huge light will shine through all of us you touched. Your powerful spirit will live and thrive. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for being a part of my life.

Love,
Robyn Harrington
Novato, CA

Goodbye dear friend and colleague

It is hard to know where to start. Such a dear man, such a friend to so many, an inspired and inspiring teacher, a devoted and committed mentor, a consummate colleague. The accolades and superlatives could go on and on. In the past few days, I have read blogs and email posts from friends, family, and colleagues. They all so richly capture the essence of Gonzaga.

I first “met” Gonzaga from his writings and professional interactions. He was such a bright man! Yet his intellect did not get in the way of his heart. Everything he did was from a centered, compassionate and passionate position. When I finally met Gonzaga in person, I was so glad to meet someone in our field with whom I felt a strong affinity. I wanted to hear all about him and his thoughts on such important issues as inclusion of people with disabilities and all of his efforts to move people with disabilities from “clienthood” to citizenship. Yet, as I began to ask him about himself, he stopped me immediately and told me about my influence on him. I was honored and humbled. And right then, I knew again the kind of person that he was. He was selfless, caring, giving, humble, and kind. He was the kind of person whom I am proud to have called a colleague and friend. Your spirit will not die, Gonzaga. All of your like-minded friends and former students will not let it. We will all strive to be the kind of person you were. We will all strive to be untiring advocates. We will strive to look forward, and not backward, with a contagious smile, just like yours.

Your department, college and university will miss you Gonzaga. You have left a hole. Rather than say, “ a hole we cannot fill...”, because I know that you would not want that, I will say, “a hole that we will strive to fill”. As Dean of the College in which you worked, I pledge to ensure that we keep your spirit alive. For starters, in the fall semester 2009, I will give a need-based scholarship to a graduate student in recreation who best exemplifies your work. You will not be forgotten. You will live with us.

And to your mum and your family, Gonzaga, although I cannot even imagine her and their sorrow, I want her and them to know that you lived a full life in San Jose touching countless people at the university and in the community. For a person to pass through this life with such an impact is rare. You will truly be missed by me and many, many others.

Charlie Bullock
San Jose State University

recuerdo de gonz

I am grateful that Mom is on her way to Goa. We pray for her safe arrival and for all who are together and gathering in Goa and Mumbai to remember Gonzaga. Here in Nicaragua my family and I are remembering Gonzaga and praying for all in India and the US and everywhere who also love dear cousin, brother, friend, colleague, teacher Gonzi. My family here is great – over the past four plus years that I have lived with them they have gotten to know Gonzi through all the times he comes up in stories about our family in Seattle and India -- Delivering pizza in the snow -- studying insects -- international scholarships -- recreation therapy with adults and youth with disabilities -- fancy crusty bread -- conferences around the country, and world -- visiting dona Gertrudes in every vacation -- Birkenstock sandals -- coming to Seattle to watch Grandma Doris when we were away -- the death of his friends in the car accident -- not drinking -- the parakeets -- car Sally -- qualitative research -- being a loving best friend to Mom -- ethnographies with older graduate students and aptly-named ¨Dr. Kool¨ -- mentoring university and grad students -- teaching the ever-popular quality of life class -- Starbucks coffee -- grant writing -- sturdy shoes for walking -- visiting Grandma Doris first thing from the airport -- helping with the driving -- accompanying me to Safeway -- Chinese restaurants – Greenlake -- working at the laptop at the dining table -- drinking ice water -- deli turkey -- family holidays -- life, family and friends in San José -- Grandma Doris´s funeral -- always ready to help, to accompany, to listen -- chatting on gmail at work or by cell phone ¨Hola, cómo estás mi amiga?¨ he would greet me -- encouraging me to pursue the internship in Nicaragua -- that Mexican restaurant in Berkeley with flour tortilla chips -- helping me identify for myself what I wanted -- loving his friends and loving being with his friends -- taking good emotional and spiritual care of himself that allowed him to take good care of others -- putting into practice and acknowledging the importance of doing what one loves in the days that we´ve got ¨Life is gooood J¨ Gonz reminded us. Gonz spent the time in trial and error in figuring out for himself what made him come alive and living his life accordingly. I/We loved being around Gonzi because as someone true to himself he was alive to all of us. It´s hard to comprehend that Gonzi is gone, that just five days ago he was enjoying a long-awaited safari trip and emailing us about how much fun he was having… I am sad that Gonzi will not be calling me on my cell phone from San José, chatting online from Goa, or sleeping over on long weekends in Seattle. I think of Mom nearing her arrival in Mumbai who will see Gonzi´s body one last time and be together with all our family to remember him. I am thinking of all of you and especially on Monday for Gonzi´s burial. I am grateful for my dear cousin and friend Gonz and the example and love and honesty he has shared with me. I love you Gonzi. Thank goodness he has strung us all together to support one another, too. Love, Ranae

Ranae DeSouza,

Nicaragua.

7/3 Update - Memorial services / Send pics

Currently the funeral service is set to take place in India on Monday, 7/6. For more details, please contact Anand Pais at anandpais@hotmail.com.

A memorial service is tentatively set to take place in Mountain View, CA on Saturday, 7/18. More details to be announced later on this blog.

Finally, please send us any pictures of Gonzaga you have that you would like included in a slideshow / video montage that is being prepared. You may email the photos to gonzagamemorial@gmail.com.

My fleeting meetings with Gonzy

Inspired by Nikhil’s (Gonzy’s and my nephew) lovely article in this blog, touching upon the nephew-uncle relationship and beyond, thought I’ll quickly pen a few thoughts about Gonzy, since he spent the last 20 hours of his life in my home. Just by way of introduction, my sister is married to Gonzy’s brother Jose (Nikhil’s father) who resided in Mombasa. I had the pleasure of hosting Gonzy in Nairobi for under a day on his way back from Mombasa to Goa via Nairobi.

Although I do not intend this to be a chronological record of events that unfolded, thought I’ll mention some events fresh in my memory, thereby hoping to preserve them. I picked Gonzy and Nikhil up at the Nairobi airport on Sunday late morning and got to chatting about his stay in Mombasa. Gonzy was most thrilled about his Safari in Tsavo, and I’m happy that he spent some of the last few days of his life enjoying and seeing the best of nature and animals in their most natural habitat. Throughout his trip from the airport to my home, I remember Gonzy trying to gather in as much of his surroundings as possible and absorbing each moment to its fullest. Gonzy and I got into a lengthy discussion about the Famous Five’s habits in the wild, and what animals were seen readily and where, along with the individuality of the various gameparks around Kenya. Gonzy was fascinated with what he had seen in the Kenyan wilds and had promised to return back, along with a friend from the US. I sincerely hope that he has a much better view of the wild from wherever he is today.

I’ve not known Gonzy for too long. However, we were meeting more and more frequently in the last few years in Goa, since Gonzy was visiting Goa more often, including in the festive season of Christmas, which coincided with my yearly visits to Goa. During Gonzy’s visit to Nairobi, I did comment on the same and the fact that it was so great to re-kindle family relationships. Maybe, it had to do with passing on of experience to the next generation of nephews and nieces in Goa, maybe it was catching up with family and what Gonzy had missed during a onetime prolonged absence from Goa. Or maybe, something completely different, which only Gonzy could explain in his unimitable combination of US-accented English and Portuguese. Whatever the reason, I’m sure our extended families in Goa were only richer for the experience.

Children have always captivated Gonzy and they in turn have always been attached to him. I’ve seen him form strong bonds with his young nephews and they have looked up to him for inspiration and advice. Unassuming by nature, Gonzy has never been forthcoming about his professional and work related achievements. Consequently, this blog, though untimely by cause of origin, has been an eye-opener to me, especially in relation to what Gonzy has been keeping himself busy with in his professional life.

When embarking on this article, I was tempted to share the exchanges and events that led to his untimely demise on that fateful Monday morning, but decided against it, since I’d like to remember Gonzy from the limited and joyous times my family and I had the day before, wherein we exchanged interesting conversations, a lunch and dinner with Gonzy, whilst exploring a little bit of Nairobi. In the short span of time we had together, Gonzy made time to discuss interests and various other topics with Alysia, my daughter of 12, as well as Neil, my son of 10.

Alysia and Neil were the last to say a formal goodbye to Gonzy, before they left for school. Little did we all know how final it would be. Knowing Gonzy’s attachment to the younger generation, perhaps, it was only fitting.

Aulio Martins

Nairobi, Kenya.

A Man Who Cared

Gonzaga was a kind and wonderful man and his life has left a mark on my heart as well as my knowledge and work. He went out of his was to help me when I needed it, even if I did not deserve it. If I went to his office nervous or worried about my studies, I always left with renewed confidence due to his kind words. His impact on my work was much farther reaching than he can ever imagine. He was my role model as well as my mentor and I will miss him.

Marla Howard
San Jose, CA

Condolences

Dear Paul, Scottie, and Family:

Our hearts are deeply saddened by sudden loss of our Brother in Christ and Dear Friend Gonzaga. I had the honor of knowing him through helping to faciliate our Impact Bible Study Newcomers Table. We will miss his warm caring spirit and sharp wit that would make us all feel warm and welcome. He was like a brother to many and will be deeply missed but always remembered.

In Christ Love & Ours,

JoAnna Quan

CA, US

Finishing Well... A Tribute to our beloved Gonz

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Life's ultimate goal is never just running the race, it is finishing well. Gonz, it is easy to see you have finished well. Your life has produced an abundance of fruit in your amazing earthly journey. You touched each one of us deeply... you were a shining star, thank you.

In an attempt to pay tribute to Gonz, and as I reflect on a wonderfully unique and compassionate man, may I say that a first time encounter with Gonz practically guaranteed lasting friendship. People were simply his passion... people of all walks... family, friends or acquaintances... and he was determined to use his God-given talents to make an everlasting imprint on each life he touched. He had an incredible zest for life, and purposely viewed life with an eternal perspective, being true to the call of being a living sacrifice. Gonz exemplified...

"If a man's gift is ... serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully..." (excerpt from Romans 12)

Gonz was not only committed to caring for others (which he did exceptionally well) or to spurring others on in their life's journey. He possessed an unquenchable thirst for greater knowledge and understanding.

2 Peter 1: 5-8,10,11 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ... Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I will miss your beautiful, contagious spirit, Gonz. I will miss your glowing face as you uttered my name, Mags! I will never forget your indomitable spirit and your uniqueness. With calm assuredness I know you received a rich welcome from our Lord Jesus as you crossed over, slipped your hand in his, and heard him exclaim, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Marileigh "Maggie" Steadman

Santa Rosa, CA