Gonzaga da Gama Pais Memorial

Happy Birthday Gonzi

2011-10-16T05:22:00.000-07:00

Gonzi, you celebrate your 49th birthday among the angels and saints. I can vividly see that smile and hear that laughter. Miss you.

Years fly. But the pain at the loss of our Gonzi does not diminish. He was a very affectionate cousin. His BIG heart would encompass all.

Cecilia
(Porvorim, Goa)

Remembering Our Dearest Gonzaga on his birthday

2011-10-15T06:07:00.000-07:00

Today is Gonzaga's 47th birthday.

All of us who knew him would definitely call or email to wish him and he would return the call or email expressing his deep appreciation at the thoughtfulness.

He was a large person but even larger was his heart that reached out to one and all.

Fr. Anand da Gama Pais
Gonzi's kid brother

Remembering Gonzaga on his 2nd death anniversary

2011-06-29T07:47:00.000-07:00

OBITUARY

GONZAGA'S GRAVE

Father Anand Pais

Missing My Angel

2011-06-29T05:41:00.000-07:00

Dearest Gonzaga,

The precious birds were singing joyously early this morning, and I thought of YOU. As I awoke from my slumber, I was greeted with the most GLORIOUS sunrise, and I thought of YOU.

How nice it would be to pick up the phone right now and tell you how much I miss YOU, and to hear your wonderful laugh again.

I think of YOU each and every day, and I feel SO BLESSED to have had YOU in my life!

Thank you for being my mentor, friend, and most importantly my guardian angel! Until we meet again...

With Much Love,

Christine Lewman

Death Aniversary of Gonzaga

2011-06-27T04:06:00.000-07:00

Two years have elapsed, dear Gonzi, since you left us. We have not forgotten you and think of you always with great love and affection.

Rest in peace,
Silvestre and Petra

Blessings to Gonzaga's family and friends on his birthday

2010-10-15T11:30:00.000-07:00

Praying special blessings on all Gonzaga's family, his dear mum, brothers, and all those who still hold him close in our hearts.

May you find comfort in the loss of this amazing, irreplaceable man.

May you find joy in the memories of our special times with him.

And may you be thankful for the better person you are for having known and loved him.

Peace and joy,
Paul

Happy Birthday Gonzaga

2010-10-15T09:46:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Gonzaga,

I was painting a mural yesterday at Valley Medical Center in the Child Services examination room and I swear I could feel your presence while I was painting. Then I remembered that you were a recreation therapist for many years at VMC and worked directly with abused children at summer camp. If it is possible to get a "visit", I certainly enjoyed your laughing presence as you suggested I use the medical stool with wheels instead of standing. As I spun around the room with my brushes and pallette I thanked you for your great suggestion.

Miss you lot's, but now I know you visit and I can always have a pleasant chat and some practical advice even when I wasn't asking.

love,
Valerie McNeal

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GONZ

2010-10-15T09:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Gonz

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

As you would always say "LIFE IS GOOD".
Till this day how can I forget the last 10 days that we spent together.
I will treasure every moment with you and my son Nikhil.
The lovely time we had at the Safari, our chats etc.

Hope you are with the angels and praying for us.
Until we meet again.

take care
Jose Da Gama Pais

Happy birthday dear brother

2010-10-15T02:40:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone

Today is my brother Gonzaga's birthday.

I use to wait for this day each year as he would always call me from the States a couple of days earlier to ask me 'Anand, what is my birthday gift this year'.

And I would always tell him 'Gonz, you ask and you will get it'.

He would immediately replay in his unique inimitable style 'Oooh, its ok Anand. LIFE IS GOOD'

That is our brother and our unforgettable true and genuine friend GONZAGA

Fr. Anand da Gama Pais
Goa

Fr. Anand, Dear Mum, Gonzi

Happy Birthday, Gonz!

2010-10-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Gonz. There is not a day that goes by when your family and friends do not think of you and remember you with great affection. On this special day, your birthday, I pray for your complete peace and joy with Christ.

I enjoy the memory of your smiling face and large heart and it makes me happy again.

Love,

Your old friend,

Eric Lane

One year with the Lord on 29th June 2010

2010-06-23T16:52:00.001-07:00

Gonzi

In your Heavenly Father's arms may you rest forever,
In our hearts you will live forever.

Cecilia
Goa, India

Remembering Gonzaga on his birthday

2009-10-15T06:47:00.000-07:00

Today the 15th of October is the birthday of Gonzaga. He would be forty six today
I just can't imagine that he is gone and that I will never hear from him anymore.
But I am sure that he is celebrating his birthday with all his loved ones up in
heaven. He is in the company of all the saints and angels in heaven
and is sending down on all God's choicest blessing.

Father Anand da Gama Pais
Gonzaga's brother
Goa, India

Other than my wife...

2009-09-08T08:52:00.000-07:00

Other than my wife, Gonz was my best friend for over 18 years. I met him through a mutual friend named Ted, a member of the SF Church of Christ. Gonz was warm, loving, wise, brilliant, and generous. We are all lucky to have known him--to learn from his great example and share the love that he had for people.

Indeed, thanks to Gonzaga, my wife and I are more concerned than ever about human rights issues. He has always advocated for justice, and I vow to honor him by fighting for justice in the best way I know.

Moreover, Gonz was so giving of a friend that I will try to be a better friend myself, to be more grateful to those around me.

Bake Timmons
Princess Anne, MD

Gonzaga

2009-09-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

Just a few minutes ago, my husband, Bake, and I learned of our dear friend Gonzaga's passing, and only because he was surfing around the internet and looking up Gonz' name to see what our ever active friend (!) has been up to. It is a testament to the memory of Gonzaga that he sometimes seemed bigger than life, seeming to make time for everyone in his life in some way, and remembering to keep in touch with everyone he knew~including us, even when we failed to do so, such as this summer when we awaited news of your return (hence, hubby's searching on the web for his latest activity). And as much as I'm on Facebook, I hadn't even bothered to look on his page, either.

Ever since we met him in '91 in church (which none of us attend now), he has given us countless hours of laughter, deep (and not-so-deep!) discussions, challenges to our thinking and goals and everything in between. He affected our lives in a BIG way, as he had a VERY BIG heart, as anyone who knew him can attest to. Both our extended families welcomed him into their lives, especially my in-laws. Who could NOT be touched by Gonzaga?!

Gonzaga was our best buddy. He was often like a big brother to me, as well as best friend. He ALWAYS made me laugh because his laugh was so contagious! I think that is what I will miss about him most: his hearty laugh. :-) His annual visits to the east coast to visit us. When he was in grad school at U of M, he used to tell us the only time he got sleep was when he came to visit Jennifer and Bake! And indeed, he did spend the majority of time sleeping during his stay with us! But that was fine, because he was our dear friend and we wanted to look after him, as he looked after us.

I have a smiling Gonzaga photo taken during his last visit, last fall, sitting on our bookshelf. Looking at his smiling photo reminds us of his ceaseless drive for justice and human rights for the disabled and forgotten members of our society (abused and foster children). He definitely inspired Bake and I to become advocates for human rights issues and supported our causes.

We will miss him sorely. His presence. His laughter. His annual visits. His phone calls. For nearly two decades he enriched our lives immeasurably. He had SO much love to spread around! I can't believe you're gone, my friend. My heart aches for you, Gonz...you left us way too soon.

Jennifer J. L. Timmons
Princess Anne, MD

Gonzaga memory

2009-08-19T14:30:00.000-07:00

I was absolutely shocked yesterday as I thumbed through the California Parks & Recreation magazine and saw Gonzaga's picture above the announcement of his passing. I had no idea. I met Gonzaga at the CPRS state conference in Ontario 2006 at our Dist. IV social. The details are hazy, at least for me. But I do remember him coming up to me the next day greeting me and exclaiming "You were shaking it and baking it last night!" His presence at conferences and meetings always brought an infusion of fresh, cheerful, and joyously enthusiastic perspectives that promoted inclusion and celebration for all. I am saddened that he will not be around to engage and educate the next generation of recreational professionals, as well as to challenge and energize us old professionals. You will be missed Gonzaga. Peace be with you.

Steve Beaty
Recreation Supervisor
Brisbane, CA

Good bye Professor

2009-08-07T07:42:00.000-07:00

Wow! It has been over a month since your passing and I just found out yesterday. I am so shocked!

I still remember when sometime around 2002 we first met in the conference room at SJSU. You were explaining what the "Therapeutic Recreation" program at SJSU was all about. You convinced me and I joined the M.S. program and I have never looked back. For a person coming from engineering back ground, your passion for your profession made a difference. Next year I experienced your passion more during the grad courses that you taught. There are many things I disagreed in the contents and the way you taught the course, but there is no denying of your passion and caring. I thank your from the bottom of my heart for all the lessons I have learned from you.

I am sure we will meet again.

sml:-)
Shabbir M. Latif, M.S. Therapeutic Recreation, CTRS.
6 Seconds Certified EQ Associates.
Electrical Engineer, Ph.D.
shabbir@xtra-assist.com

I am truly amazed

2009-08-05T09:28:00.000-07:00

Dear All

I am truly amazed that my brother who came here in Kenya to say BYE to me.
spend the last 10 days of his life is remembered like this.

I am truly and definitely amazed and it has changed my life my whole value to exist.
finally I ask myself.
God works in mysterious ways...as definitely he never complained of any health issues
nor did he ever seem to be displeased with anything or anybody.
may be he was but never showed it.

I truly was blessed to have Gonz as my next sibling and definitely he showed that
amazing affection to one and all.
be it the family or his friends or his students.

Let us in any way try to carry his memory forward.
Let any of those who cared and valued know that they can anytime contact me his
eldest brother Jose and are more that welcome to get in touch with me.

My contacts: dagamapais@gmail.com
my phones at present: +254 725981929 / +254 202107998
and all of you are welcome in Mombasa as long as I am here.

Jose Da Gama Pais
Mombasa, Kenya

Dr. Gonzaga da Gama Memorial Celebration @ SJSU

2009-08-05T09:12:00.000-07:00

The Department of Hospitality, Recreation & Tourism Management and College of Applied Sciences & Arts at San Jose State University would like to invite you to a memorial celebration of Dr. Gonzaga da Gama’s life on Friday August 28th.

Date and Time: Friday, August 28 at 4pm

Location: SJSU campus, Engineering Building 189 (ENG 189)

Parking: Lot 4 on 10th and San Antonio

For additional information on the event and parking see www.sjsu.edu/hrtm/gonzaga_memorial

Remembering Gonzaga one month later

2009-07-29T09:21:00.000-07:00

I can hardly believe it has been one month today since that fateful morning when I learned the tragic news of Gonzaga's passing. In some ways it seems like just yesterday when suddenly and by no choice of my own the course of my life would be forever changed. Life as I knew it would never be the same. No longer would I greet him returning home late at night, weary from his day, to a darkened apartment except for the light coming from my laptop screen as I work at the dining room table. Lights would stay low and voices hushed out of respect for his sleeping parakeets and my canary Elvis. "Hey Gonzster!" I would say. And he would muster a tired "Hello" in return. Then he would offload his heavy bookbag into his room and return to the kitchen to prepare the dinner he had invariably skipped due to meetings and classes earlier in the evening. At first glance his curt reply and tunnel vision path to the kitchen might be construed as an unwillingness to talk to anyone. But I had learned that Gonz always had energy to connect with his loved ones. After the rest of us would have long exhausted our store of words to share and spent our patience to listen, he could still come alive at the slightest opportunity for a meaningful, encouraging, challenging interaction. I had only to venture into the kitchen and extend myself to him and he would welcome the engagement, ask how my day and life were, celebrate my victories and admonish me when he perceived me deviating from the optimal course for my life and dreams. With gratitude I reflect on countless occasions when I tested this truth about him and benefited from his wise counsel and loving, supportive friendship. And I grieve the loss of the special gift he was to me, irreplaceable in his unique combination of insight, care, wit, and availability.

But sadly it also seems like so long ago since his passing. So many activities, events, family drama, and just the routines, work, and progress of daily life have eagerly replaced any time I would have spent hanging out with and talking with the Gonzster. I realize this is not all bad and it is one way that I heal from pain of deep loss and mourning. But I cannot deny that I am the man I am today due in no small part to the friendship I enjoyed with Gonz over the past 20 years and especially living as his housemate these past 7 years. His values, principles, wisdom, and personality had guided me during our times together and now have new life as part of me in his absence. When I volunteer my time to serve at foster kids' camp I carry Gonz' spirit to champion the marginalized and fringe members of society. I remember him in this activity and so his memory is not lost on me or the children. In fact his legacy is multiplied even unbeknownst in the lives of all the campers and camp staff. When I allow myself to notice a friend is in special need of a listening ear or encouraging word and I actually interrupt my schedule to sit and be, I inwardly call upon what I learned from Gonz who had so masterfully demonstrated this art to me. I come away feeling stronger and learning more about Gonz and why he did what he did to make a difference in other's lives.

Ultimately I understand that the power and attraction of Gonz' life and example are that in emulating them I find myself closer to the true heart of my God and Creator. Yes, that is the big secret Gonz carried so well. He was a man of deep faith in God and Jesus, but he was not one to hit anyone over the head with the Bible. You were just as likely to find him standing in the second row at church, arms raised and worshipping in song as you were to find him at Le Boulanger connecting with friends for hours, talking politics or even railing against those in the church who give Christ a bad rap. He demonstrated His faith precisely as Jesus did, by simply living out his personal life mission while extending grace, peace, joy, patience, and kindness to anyone fortunate enough to rub shoulders with him.

May all those whose lives were touched by Gonzaga not let any part of him be wasted in his passing. May we recognize the ways in which he does or ought to live on in us. May we give life to those ways that keep him dear in our hearts and bring us each closer to the heart of our Creator.

And may God's special comfort, strength and blessing be on Gonzi's dear mum, brothers, and family who helped produce such a magnificent person as we have all known. We grieve with you and share in your devastation and sorrow.

In loving memory and tribute to my beloved Gonzaga,

Paul
Sunnyvale, CA

Gonzaga Memorial Video Montage now posted

2009-07-29T07:46:00.000-07:00

You may now find the memorial video montage posted online by clicking here or going to http://tinyurl.com/gonzagamontage.

This video debuted at the memorial service held for Gonzaga da Gama at Open Door Church in Mountain View, CA on July 18th, 2009. May the memory, legacy, and spirit of this great man live on in the hearts, minds,and lives of all those who were blessed enough to know him in the short time he walked this soil with us!

Our thoughts and prayers of comfort and strength are especially with Gonzi' mom, family, and friend who grieve his passing.

Special thanks to Suong Nguyen and Bing Gabis for assembling these photos that recall special memories with Gonzaga.

The soundtrack song is "Elijah" by Rich Mullins.

Gonzaga's reflections on his safari

2009-07-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

I only knew Gonzaga a few years but he touched my heart like he did everybody he knew. He became a dear friend and I am overwhelmed with sadness at our loss.

He loved to travel and was always on the go. His trip to Africa must have been a very special treat for him. He left us happy and we will always be better for having known him.

I think you will all like to know in his own words about his last big experience on this earth. This is what he wrote about his Safari.

==============================================
I just returned from my safari.

Was a great experience.

Went to Tsavo National Park in Kenya.

Spent the night in a great lodge where elephants, buffaloes, zebras and
others were coming for water.
Saw many many elephants - males and females and babies.

Saw 3 lions.

That is a treat. One was walking right side by side our safari van. She did
not seem to be bothered. She just glanced at our car and continued
majestically for a bit and then decided that she was going to rest. Then she
just sat and dozed a few times, yawned and watched us.

The other two were a bit far away on top of a rock. A male and a female.
This was on our early morning drive. We left the lodge at 6:20 AM. One cool
thing is that all the safari drivers are in radio contact with each other.
That is how they let the others know if they see a big cat. Then all the
drivers charge to that place.

We saw gorgeous Masai giraffes, impalas, other members of the antelope
family, ostriches, etc.

I wish I could stay there for a few more days. The drive was interesting -
going through the dirt roads.

We had an interesting experience with an elephant and her baby. She was
right in the middle of the road and when our car approached the area, the
mother elephant refused to move and stood her ground. We waited for a while
and when we sort of advanced, she was not happy and showed a stance of
charging. We reversed quickly and left. The elephant let us know who was the
boss. In this case the wild animal won.
==============================================

His friend,
Nicholas Antoniou

Message for the memorial

2009-07-20T15:27:00.001-07:00

Just thought of quoting a few words of what I think my brother Gonzi would want to say to all of us from up above.

"Sorry I had to leave right away
I look down and smile at you everyday.
If friends remember and come to say Hi,
Tell them I've departed, but please don't cry.
And to others I'd like to say
Don't mourn because I've passed away
I am walking streets of gold
And am lucky the blessed Lord to behold.
Remember to say a prayer for me
I'll treasure your love through eternity.
So carry on as you did before
Till all of us meet on Heaven's bright shore.
Remember I love you, Remember I care
I'll always be with you
Though you don't see me there."

Fr. Anand da gama pais,

Goa, India.

(This poem was read at the end of the memorial service on July 18, 2009)

Gonzaga Memorial Video

2009-07-18T14:00:00.000-07:00

The sweetest reflection

2009-07-17T22:27:00.000-07:00

Gonzaga truly was one of the sweetest reflections of the kindness and joy of the Lord that one seldom encounters. I didn't know Gonzaga well, but what I did know was enough to know his deep love for God and his friends. He never forgot the things we consider "tiny" - to speak congratulations or acknowledgment to others for things large and small. To take note of the things people don't often see or speak of, but that those who look with the heart see and understand. It is a rare gift and one reflective of a heart truly submitted and kind.

I am grieved for you Paul and Scottie and Gonzaga's family and how you are coping with this loss. Please know my heart and prayers are with you, and I hope you are finding the comfort of the many that love you and Gonzaga in the midst of this as something to keep you going.

Thank you Gonzaga for being a man of strength, integrity and great love. I hope you are laughing on streets of gold among many, many friends and lives you have touched.

E'en for the dead I will not bind my soul to grief;

Death cannot long divide.

For is it not as though the rose that climbed my garden wall

Has blossomed on the other side?

Death does hide,

But not divide;

You are but on Christ's other side!

You are with Christ, and Christ with me;

In Christ united still are we.

Lara Long

San Francisco, CA

Dear Friend

2009-07-16T12:05:00.000-07:00

You would have so loved seeing all the wonderful things that people have said about you in this memorial. I'm not sure you truly knew how many people's lives you touched or how many people really cared about you. It has taken me awhile to have the courage to read all that is written here and to write something myself. I will miss you. I am so thankful of the time we have had together.

Sandra Wolf Klitzing, Ph.D., CTRS
Illinois State University
School of Kinesiology and Recreation

Legacy of a great friend!

2009-07-14T14:55:00.000-07:00

Hey Gonz! I can’t believe and never even vaguely expected that I would be writing to express our friendship and how much you have been part of my life and well-being in all these years. I still remember the time we met at Sanctuary on October 26^th, 2003. From then on, our friendship just grew and we became like family almost!

I can never forget the awesome times we have had, whether it was socializing after Church, your giving me a ride when I was a poor Grad student whenever I needed, dropping me home after my late night classes from San Jose State, spending time at your office and cleaning your desk at SJSU, being the counselors’ counselor at the Royal Family Kids Camp, meeting for coffee/lunch/dinner whenever we could, watching Bollywood movies, cooking together, having some “healthy” arguments on politics, some deep and authentic sharing in our Men’s Group, or exploring to great depths of what was going on in each other’s personal and professional lives at any time.

Can I even start listing some of the greatest qualities I saw in you and how inspired I have been through those? The list will be too long and endless. But I loved how you so cared for people, no matter how they were. You consciously made an effort to make people feel welcomed and cared. You were so genuine in your words and never cared to impress anyone or any group. You thought you did not belong, but at the same time used that to make the real outcasts totally belong. You always aspired for a better world! You always questioned yourself as to how you could live a life that would be meaningful for others. You ensured that people will see your life and understand the meaning of being a true Christian. You always spoke for the marginalized, the oppressed, and the “others” in general. Every table you were a part of, you always reminded people of the society, the culture, and some if its shortcomings and what we all can do to change it. You were such a great son, brother, uncle, and friend. You were so dedicated in your profession. You had so many laurels in your education, career, and all other associations, but yet you were always so humble of all that! Every opportunity you had, you insisted on making a difference. You were such a great man! This list can only serve as a starting point to even summarize your achievements and greatness!

I still can not believe the fact that you are not going to be with us anymore on this earth, but I know for sure that you are at an even better place now, and constantly watching over us. We will certainly miss you physically around here, but I know all our great memories will remain with us forever, and nothing can take those away from us. We love you, and I know for sure you will love us as you always did! In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, your friend and brother always… Alfred

Alfred Jude,

Sunnyvale, CA

A quick note to my friend Gonzaga:

2009-07-13T12:26:00.000-07:00

Gonzaga, I met you around a year ago when I started working as a coordinator in the Department of Hospitality, Recreation & Tourism Management at San Jose State University. While I may not have known you for as long as I would have liked to, I am still honored to consider myself a friend of yours. Your positivity was contagious and your spirit was truly one-of-a-kind. I’ll never forget our sociological discussions as well as our conversations in Portuguese in the department office. It doesn’t surprise me at all how much you touched the lives of so many others, for you were a genuine person in a world that is suffering from a shortage of genuine personalities. May your soul rest in peace.

Take care Gonzaga,

Jason Amarante,

San Jose State University.

Condolences

2009-07-11T05:43:00.000-07:00

May your soul rest in peace!

Our heartfelt sympathies go to your family.

Aldrin and Kezia Alberto

What an Amazing Person

2009-07-10T23:43:00.000-07:00

I still remember the first day I met Gonzaga. I was in my last semester of my undergraduate degree (Spring of 2000) and had returned from internship for one of the few on campus meeting days we had that final semester. The same day the department was also conducting interviews for the open professor positions and we were lucky enough to get to talk with the candidates (I too remember Gonzaga in the suit that day). Honestly at that point, I couldn’t have cared less what the candidates were saying as I was graduating. Really, now as I look back, I can’t believe how important that day was in my life and how lucky I was that Gonzaga took that position at SJSU.

Gonzaga was an amazing professor. He pushed his students to the limits of their capabilities because he cared about them and wanted them to achieve greatness. He was one of the hardest working people I have ever met. I never took a class from Gonzaga, but I do have very fond memories of Gonzaga’s early years at SJSU. Back then he would often sit in on the graduate classes of the other professors, which you could always count on going from the regular lecture to a lively debate. I would not have finished my degree without him. While he didn’t let me off easy, he also refused to let me fail.

Gonzaga was a great friend. For some reason after I finished graduate school I actually got to see Gonzaga more often. At first we would have a reason for getting together (intern discussion, a presentation I was making for one of his classes or something else professionally related), but as we went on we just started getting together to talk over lunch. I never told him how much this actually meant to me as he was one of the very few people in my life I felt comfortable enough to speak openly with on anything.

Gonzaga cared. That is what I will remember the most. I can’t even remember how or when Gonzaga became such a big part of my life, but I do know that without him I would not be the person I am today. His belief in me actually inspired me on to things I thought I would never do. Last semester Gonzaga invited me in to one of his classes to speak. I would do this every semester for at least one of his classes. When he introduced me he told the class the story of his interview day and his meeting with the class of undergraduates that I was in. He pointed to the back of the room and the spot I was sitting in that day 9 years ago and jokingly told them a story about remembering a goofy kid in shorts and a t-shirt that couldn’t wait to get out of class. He remembered this because he really cared. I know that I was special to Gonzaga, but I know that because to him we were all special. He cared about everyone of us, his students, his colleagues, his friends, his family, and all those disadvantaged that needed caring the most. I am proud to have known such a great person.

Goodbye my friend. You will be missed.

Chris Ghione

Morgan Hill, CA

Is that my friend Gonzaga?

2009-07-10T11:43:00.000-07:00

Passing through the hallways I often heard, "is that my friend Braaaandi?" and was always greeted with a huge smile. Finding out about Gonzaga's passing has shaken my family and a piece of us has darkened. My husband, Glenn, and I spent many hours with Gonzaga during our time at San Jose State University. Gonzaga was a wonderful man with an open and loving heart. I often felt other's didn't see in Gonzaga what we saw and loved. He helped me through a very difficult time when a family member had passed, Gonzaga's compassion during that time will never be forgotten. I only wish we had been able to say good bye and I can only hope he knew how much he meant to me and Glenn. Gonzaga truly was one of a kind- and has obviously touched many lives. I've attached a photo of Glenn, Gonzaga, BJ, and me at a scholarship breakfast- we will forever miss our buddy Gonz.

Brandi & Glenn Dionne

Class of 2006

Sacramento, CA

Dear Gonzaga

2009-07-10T11:18:00.000-07:00

Dear Gonzaga,

I am saddened as so many are. Perhaps you are too. Did you think as you passed of unfinished things? Your To Do List was always long and exciting, but I think you had no reason to look back. The testimonials to your life are amazing, don’t you think? You must be grinning because I believe you knew just who you were meant to be and you did yourSELF (as we used to say) proud (your mother and father, too). Csikzentmihalyi would be proud, too... you were true to yourSELF!

Since retiring, I have missed our philosophy discussions, chewing over ideas and debating grounded research. You loved the playground of the mind; it was more real than the trivial tangibles tripping us up every day. You were driven by those ideas and debatable situations... eager to leap forward, to get somewhere no one else had explored, to make the world a better place, and to bring others along in the adventure. Often, I was a weight dragging on your foot, nagging about the reality the rest of us experienced... evaluations, publication, promotion, tenure, administrative details, organizing our offices... you know! In good humor, you politely listened, then went on with what was more important - the student, the colleague, the challenge, the discovery. And there you have it... a life of time too short for those you have left behind, but a life fully lived with all your remarkable capacity.

Thank you, Gonzaga, for taking me along for part of your journey. It was precious.

Love,
Moe

(You were one of two allowed to call me that - because you named me with caring.)

Maureen Glancy
Professor Emerita
SJSU

Memorial Service Annoucement

2009-07-09T23:08:00.001-07:00

A memorial service to honor our dear friend Gonzaga has been planned for Saturday, July 18, 2009 at 2 o'clock. It would be held at Open Door Church (MPPC South Campus) at 1667 Miramonte Ave., Mountain View, CA 94040.

A light reception will follow the service.

If you are able to attend, please RSVP by sending an email to gonzagamemorial@gmail.com with the subject line "rsvp".

For a map and directions, click on the Google map below:

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A Tribute to Gonzaga…A Man with Wings

2009-07-09T12:53:00.000-07:00

As I write this, I’m sitting on an airplane en route from San Francisco to Denver. While my flight was delayed, I picked up my cell phone and called Gonzaga’s office at San Jose State University. I wanted to listen to his outgoing voicemail message one more time before my departure. Although I didn’t leave a message, it was SO comforting to hear his voice again. As I boarded the plane, and settled into my seat, I prayed. I prayed for my dear friend Gonzaga and his family. I thanked God for the gift of Gonzaga’s presence in my life. During take off, I stared at the beautiful picture of Gonzaga with my son, Dylan, which was taken at Dylan’s baptism in 2002. Seeing Gonzaga’s smiling face again brought joy to my heart, and tears to my eyes. As I sit on the airplane thousands of feet above the ground, I see beautiful, white fluffy clouds from my window. For a moment, it looks exactly like Heaven. Suddenly, I am at peace. You see, for each time I fly I feel safe, because I ALWAYS feel closer to God and Heaven. Today’s flight was even more special, because I felt closer than ever to my dear friend, Gonzaga.

I remember the first time I met Dr. Gonzaga da Gama. It was the spring of 2000, and I was a graduate student in Dr. Glancy’s class at San Jose State University. Gonzaga was “auditioning” for one of his greatest roles as professor, mentor, and friend. It was the first and only time I ever saw Gonzaga in a suit and tie, and I just remember being SO taken by his passionate presentation about the importance of full social inclusion for persons with disabilities. The intensity of Gonzaga’s presentation that evening was so powerful that he ultimately landed the job at SJSU where I had the complete privilege of being one of his students. While at SJSU, I had the opportunity to take numerous classes from Gonzaga who also served as my graduate advisor. Despite having many challenges in my personal life while attending grad school, Gonzaga NEVER gave up on me. Always approachable, supportive, and kind, Gonzaga CONSTANTLY pushed me to be the VERY best! He was a tough professor with high expectations, but I completely THRIVED participating in such a rich and challenging learning environment.

Often outspoken, and ALWAYS an advocate for the underserved, Gonzaga was a BRILLIANT scholar with an undying passion for research. So much in fact, that he would often call me to share new ideas for potential research studies. Sometimes we would meet at Starbucks, and Gonzaga would whip out his laptop, and read me his latest findings!

I was always in awe of Gonzaga’s intellect; so gifted and talented. When I was around Gonzaga, I felt as if I was in the midst of a total academic “rock star!” He would often share stories with me about his other “rock star” friends; many of whom were featured in the text books we read in Gonzaga’s class! Great leisure scholars like Dr. Stuart Schleien, Dr. Leo McAvoy, and Dr. John Datillo were ALWAYS referenced in Gonzaga’s classes, as he DEEPLY admired and respected their work.

I remember when I finally graduated, Gonzaga told me that I was no longer one of his students, but I was now one of his colleagues! I felt SO proud to have him as my confidant and friend! Gonzaga was ALWAYS my BIGGEST “cheerleader” at San Jose State and beyond! His influence on my life as a student, professional, and human being has left an indelible mark on my soul.

Some of my greatest memories of Gonzaga might surprise you, but what follows are tender reflections of time spent with my dear friend. There was that summer when Gonzaga and I took an accelerated anatomy class together at Chabot College. We would carpool together to class, have lunch, and laugh hysterically when we would come up with goofy names and acronyms for certain body parts and systems. I can still remember looking at him during our all-important anatomy labs. We TRIED to be SO serious and studious, but sometimes I’d look at Gonzaga’s face and we’d both break out laughing! Gonzaga had a delightful sense of humor, and an infectious laugh! I also remember the time we found an injured baby bird in the parking lot after class. It was obvious that this bird had fallen out of its nest, and was hurt and scared. We both were SO worried about this little bird. We quickly scooped him up, and I later took the little fellow to the Humane Society to be rehabilitated back into the wild. This was the first (but not last time) that I would see Gonzaga’s genuine love of birds.

One of the things I absolutely LOVED about Gonzaga was that no matter how busy he was, he ALWAYS made time to be a great source of comfort and support to his friends. Throughout my friendship with Gonzaga, I experienced many disappointments and heartaches. From a painful divorce; professional set-backs and single-handedly raising a very headstrong teenager, to facing my mom’s devastating battle with breast cancer in 2008. Through it all, Gonzaga was ALWAYS there for me to lend his genuine compassion and support. Just being the amazing, sensitive, and generous soul that he was made Gonzaga’s presence in my life SUCH a blessing during those difficult times.

While attending Catholic school, my son Dylan decided to convert to Catholicism. There was just one problem. During that time, I didn’t have anyone in my life that could possibly be Dylan’s “sponsor/God-parent.” When I shared my dilemma with Gonzaga, he enthusiastically replied “I’m Catholic!” Without hesitation, Gonzaga proceeded to tell me that he would be delighted to be there for Dylan. It was Easter Eve 2002. It was such a beautiful service, and such a precious memory of my dear angel, Gonzaga.

In November 2005, my all-time favorite band the Rolling Stones came to the Bay Area for their “Bigger Bang” concert tour. I had an extra ticket and invited Gonzaga to join me and my family for this once-in-a-lifetime concert experience! I didn’t even know if Gonzaga liked the Stones, but he excitedly accepted the invitation, and proceeded to rock out the rest of the night! I remember dancing and singing with him in the aisles as “Tumbling Dice” played. In the words of Gonzaga it was “AWESOME!”

I also have fond memories of the MANY wonderful meals I shared with Gonzaga at the “Crazy Buffet” Chinese restaurant. We would often celebrate our birthdays together there. Although our birthdays were just a few days apart, Gonzaga and I always took delight in the similarity of our classic “Libra traits!” In so many ways, Gonzaga was the big brother I ALWAYS wanted, but never had!

One of the things me and Gonzaga shared was the desire to put our families first. Although I never had the opportunity to meet any of his family, Gonzaga ALWAYS spoke of his family with such admiration and joy. From his dear mother whom he loved and cherished with ALL his heart to his lovely cousin in Seattle who was like a sister to him, and his precious nephews in India, when Gonzaga spoke of his family, he spoke with a tremendous amount of love. Last year, I became my mom’s sole care provider as she bravely battled breast cancer. During this same time, Gonzaga’s beloved mother was dealing with her own health issues. While on sabbatical last year, Gonzaga selflessly took care of his mother’s every need. We would often speak about the challenges of being the sole care provider to an aging/ailing parent. We both agreed that it was the role of a lifetime, and the greatest gift we could give our mothers.

Gonzaga was a simple, deeply spiritual man with a BIG heart. Ironically, it was his heart that connected all of us to him, and ultimately it was his heart that unexpectedly took Gonzaga back home to our Heavenly Father last week. Gonzaga’s heart was overflowing with love for his work, friends, family (including his beloved “keets”), God, AND humanity. Gonzaga was a tremendous example of what it means to live life to the fullest, and to do God’s work here on earth.

I am comforted by the memories of my last conversation with Gonzaga. He called me just days before his departure to exotic, far away lands. We spoke on the phone for nearly 40 minutes. We talked about work, family, and our beloved pets. Gonzaga absolutely ADORED his little parakeets! He shared with me how he just LOVED going to the pet store, and watching the birds, and looking for the latest and greatest toys and accessories for his precious “keets.” We both agreed how WONDERFUL it is to have the unconditional love of a pet. One of the last things he said to me that afternoon was “I’m going to MISS my keets!”

Just like your beloved “keets,” the time has come my dear Gonzaga to spread your wings and fly. Although I am deeply saddened to have lost a dear friend here on earth, I am comforted in knowing that I have gained a TRUE angel in Heaven! May God bless and protect our beloved Gonzaga and his cherished family. May Gonzaga’s kind and generous spirit fill our hearts with love and compassion today and ALWAYS! I found this poem online (written by “Andie”), and wanted to share it with all of you, as I feel it best represents Gonzaga; the man with wings; an angel among us.

With your wings held high
You put a smile on my face
With all your might
You always left your trace
Never did I see you frown
For your smile was never upside down
Why is it that you loved me so
was I part of your soul
You were always by my side
And although you are no longer on my shoulder
I can still feel your presence
Your fluff warming my heart
I will always miss you
And I know the favor will be returned some day
For when I see you once again
It will be in the sky where
You will once again hold your wings up hig
Christine Lewman (San Mateo, California)

Gonz was a great, great man

2009-07-09T07:34:00.000-07:00

Gonz was a great, great man. I wish that he is alive at this minute and either by my side or right in front of me. I miss him so much now that every second when I think about him, I feel like I'm going to cry.

He was like an Uncle to me and now he's gone. I liked how I would see him at parties sometimes and how I would see him at my grandma's house. I really miss him right now. I also liked how he would greet people in the nicest way. Now I will never see him again. There also something else that I will miss the most, his voice. I will never here that same voice again. I miss hearing his voice so much.

Especially seeing him. I wish I could see that same face at least once more. That Gonzy, was a great, kind, caring and most of all loving, person. He also had a great, great personality. I miss him so much. Gonz was a great man.

Let's all pray for
Gonzy as much as we
Can. Let's all pray
For Gonzy and be a
Big fan.

Riley Borklund, Age 7
(Paul Baty's niece)
Brea, CA

dear friend

2009-07-07T13:18:00.000-07:00

Gonz, you were a dear friend to me and I will miss you.

You would check-in with me every so often. You listened to me, encouraged me and challenged me. You deeply cared for me and my wife.

I am left with fond memories with you - eating appam and egg curry with friends on your birthday at our place, having a pillow fight at yasi's place on her birthday, 'helping' you by cleaning your room in your absence by stuffing all your strewn out papers into trash bags and leaving them in your car :). The many rides to church and other places. The Signs of Hope / RFKC camp.

You had a big heart for those on the margins. Sometimes you felt like one and I commiserated with you. You were passionate and not afraid to speak your mind. I will remember our many lively discussions - sometimes, I would oppose you just to bring up the counter points or to see you bristle some :)

I am glad I was able to tell you that you were a dear friend before you left for India. Like yasi said, I will miss you and especially at the milestones in our lives.

Till we meet again, Rajesh.

Rajesh Philipos,

Mountain View, CA.

Gonzaga Memorial

2009-07-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

My family first met Gonz on a Thanksgiving Holiday, back around 21 years ago. Our son, Paul, who was studying at Berkeley, brought home two Indian friends from Berkeley for a Thanksgiving weekend. That's when we first realized what a wonderful friend he is to Paul.

Their friendships grew, from then on, and consequently, Paul would bring him down over Christmas holidays, whenever he's not visiting his family in Minnesota, or Seattle, WA. Gonz is a very warm and loving person. Very easy to get along with. He really listens and gives his opinion with sensitivity.

It was many years later that he completed his Doctorate. But even though he has that prestigious degree, he would not allow us to address him as "Dr. Da Gama". He's still the same old Gonz that we have learned to love for many, many years. Each Holiday, we are dissapointed if he can not make it down to visit us. He did come, when our daughter, Michelle, got married. He came when my husband had his retirement party. He came when one of my nephew got married. My brother and sisters and their family got to know Gonz also, and just loved him. Gonz always asked me how everyone in our family is doing. He is so concerned, and saddened if things are not going well. He has a heart of gold. He is a very precious friend (more like a brother to Paul and a son to us). We feel like he's part of our family.

Boy, does he love to play games. One game that really stuck to my mind, because I had stomach ache laughing while we're playing. The four of us, Gonz, Paul, my husband and I were playing "The Settlers of Catan". this game is pretty intense, don't have any regard for anybody but just your own. We had so much fun playing the game, especially Gonz and me. I would tell him "Gonz, don't do that", whenever he would play something that I was planning to play on. He would just have his boisterous laugh, as if, he didn't really care. I'd do the same to him. We finished at around 4:00 a.m. I feel so comfortable with Gonz. He is just like us. He did not allow his degree go to his head. He is comfortable around anyone and everyone. He is a very likable person.

I can't say that I understand the feelings of his Mom, brothers, and sisters, because I have not experience that kind of loss. I can only imagine how difficult it is to accept the fact that we will no longer have fellowship him. I was in shock when I learned of his passing. Since then, Gonz memory lingers in my mind, as I realize that he will not longer join us on some holidays. To the Da Gama Pais family, please accept our heartfelt condolence for your most precious son and brother. Our hearts aches for you. We will be praying for God's comfort for all of you in the days ahead.

Mely & Don Baty

Desert Hot Springs, CA

Gonzaga picture

2009-07-06T11:31:00.000-07:00

My deepest condolences go out to the da Gama Pais family. I was so shocked and saddened to hear of Gonzaga's passing. He was a tremendous mentor of mine, and I will miss him dearly. I will always remember his genuine appreciation for life and the people he cared about. He had that "work hard, play hard" attitude, which I admired greatly. I would like to share this photo of my friend and colleague Tanya Padres (on the left), Gonzaga and myself (on the right). It was taken last May 2008 at our San Jose State University graduation.

With Sympathy,

Mai Yamamoto
- SJSU Class of 2007

Gonz, you are dearly missed...

2009-07-05T22:38:00.000-07:00

When I think of Gonz's role in my life, not only do I think of him as a dear friend who always showed interest in my life and encouraged me on but his impact went deeper than that. As I reflect, I realize that Gonz's journey and struggles has helped me in overcoming certain barriers of my own over time. And for that I will forever be grateful. Gonz was so comfortable with himself and he deeply cared and that made it easy for me to be at ease around him. This last year I met Gonz less often and mostly just in passing by but whenever my husband returned from time spent with Gonz, he would say 'Gonz really cares for you'. We planned to meet the day before he left for India but it never happened.

I loved to see Gonz rejoice in the blessings of others. It was a precious gift he kept giving people. His passion was (and will remain) contagious, he was not afraid to speak his mind. That inspired me a lot. He liked to be a voice for those who didnt have one and he was really passionate about giving people dignity.

There are so many things that I like about Gonz and that make me smile but one I have to mention :)
Gonz did not care about appearances. I was really concerned when he did not show up for our wedding reception. And then when Gonz finally did come he was wearing a bright orange tshirt, shorts, and sandals! He was coming straight from the airport. His flight had been delayed and instead of changing before he came, he chose not to waste more time and to be with us. He knew we really wanted him there.

I miss him and I will specifically miss him at the milestones in my life. As a friend told me, I can honor Gonz not just by reflecting on how he has impacted me but by letting him influnence me even as I go forward from here. Thankyou Gonz. Though it is unfortunate that it is in your passing away that I'm coming to know more fully about you, it also inspires me to love more fully... yasi.

Yasmin Philipos,

Mountain View, CA.

Farewell to a wonderful professor, friend, and overall human being

2009-07-05T21:16:00.000-07:00

I am not very good with words especially in times like these, but I wish I had once last chance to tell Dr. Gonzaga what a wonderful professor and friend he was. In the six years I knew him, he was always there to support me and other students. He had a way of lifting your spirits when you needed it. It showed that he truly cared for the people around him, his family, friends, students, colleagues, etc. I am so blessed to have known Dr. Gonzaga and it touches my heart knowing what an impact he had on the lives of others. Intially I questioned why God would take him away from us so early, but I know now that Dr. Gonzaga fulfilled the will that God had set out for him. I know that Dr. Gonzaga is with his lovely God and looking down as on us smiling, wanting us to cherish the memories we have of him and living our lives to fullest. His passing has put things in persepective for me and I hope we can all remember to cherish those we love and tell them how we feel before it's too late. Dr. Gonzaga had call me awhile back and left a message asking how I was doing. I regret not getting back to him sooner. I still have that message and everytime I listen to it, it no longer makes me sad. Instead his message gives me peace and I appreciate that he cared enough to call me. Dr. Gonzaga, I miss you dearly. May you rest in peace.

Always,
Jennifer Wang
San Jose State University Class of 2006

Dear Professor and Friend

2009-07-05T14:38:00.000-07:00

My dear professor and friend...

I transferred to San Jose State University in January of 2005 not knowing exactly what my time there would consist of. After changing my major from music to recreation, I learned that I was in for one hell of a ride. The students around me kept speaking of this "Gonzaga" person. I had yet to meet him as he was not teaching any of my classes that semester. Little did I know, at the time, how much my life would be impacted.

I will never forget one of my first memories of him. Prior to taking one of his classes, we attended an event that was put on by a group of students. I watched as he mingled and played games as if he were one of us. We sat on opposing teams for a group game...we all watched and laughed as he got into a friendly and playful argument with someone on my team. The next thing we all knew, Gonzaga turned to this student and, with a big smile on his face, he pointed and said "You know what? Let's take this outside!" We all laughed so hard...and I couldn't help but laugh...it was with that very moment that I knew that I was exactly where I needed to be with my educational choice. I didn't personally know him yet and this made me so excited to take his classes.

I finally had the opportunity to take his introduction to therapeutic recreation class..."Recreation 112, Tuesday/Thursday 300-415" as he would say at the beginning of each class session with a diet soda in one hand and his other hand resting on his hip. I would sit through class and be astonished at how much information he had memorized. There were so many conditions and disabilities I didn't even know existed, but yet he was able to tell me everything I needed to know off the top of his head. From where I sat, I would hear students groaning around me about how they felt that they didn't need to know this stuff...it bothered me only because it would distract me from paying attention in class. I would go to Gonzaga at the end of class and he would listen, just as he always did everytime I had an issue...then he would say the magic words..."You know what, Monica?..." then proceed to finish with some enlightening words reminding me to calm down and not stress about things. I knew that every time he started a sentence with "You know what, Monica?" I was going to be put at ease and I would be reminded not to get so stressed or worked up unnecessarily.

I had so much fun hanging out with him at the two California Parks and Recreation conferences I happened to attend.

In 2008, I went on my internship in Southern California...in doing so, I was able to attend the conference in Long Beach. I was having a hard time being away from home and learning the ropes being in a new place. Before going away for my internship, I remember Gonzaga telling me how supportive he was of me and me taking this experience and the opportunity to intern away from home. When I saw him at that conference, I told him things weren't going as well as we had all hoped. He made it a point to tell me to call him or contact him anytime there were any issues. He even gave me his cell phone number in an effort to make himself more accessible to me.

At this year's conference, he found out that I was attending graduate school at another campus. The first thing he asked me was "Monica, what are you doing over there?" That was the infamous question that convinced me that I was in the wrong place and needed to return to San Jose State University. I pleaded my case to him about me attending another school...and again, he started off with "you know what, Monica?..." I listened...and in turn applied to go back to San Jose State. I wasn't receiving adequate support at this other school...and that conversation with him made me realize how much I was missing out on by not going back to San Jose.

I called him when I made the decision to go back to San Jose State for graduate school...and at some point throughout the conversation I realized that I may not be able to get in because of my grades. As always, he offered another route for me to take in order for me to get in. I started to ask him about having to write appeal letters or having to appeal to the admissions office in order for me to get in...and he kept reminding me to wait and see what happens with my application first. Throughout that entire conversation, he kept having to remind me to calm down and not get stressed over it.

About a month and a half ago, I called Gonzaga in his office to ask him for some help in my application process into the department's graduate program. He wasn't in his office, so I thought I would call his cell phone. I hesitated because I didn't want to bother him. Then I quickly realized that he has never turned me down when I came to him for help. I may, in fact, be the last student he spoke to over the phone as he was on American soil. I called his cell phone...and he answered. After I asked him my first question he said "Monica...we may have to cut this short because I'm on a plane right now about to leave for Amsterdam." I smiled and asked "Gonzaga, you're travelling again?!" I remember how he was always talking about his travels and, most importantly, travelling to India to be with his mother. He would tell me about how she was sick and how he wanted to be by her side. I also remember seeing him the last time I saw him and being shocked at how long his side burns were!!! I asked him what his motivation was behind that...and he proceeded to tell me a story about how his nephews in India wanted to see what he would look like if he didn't cut them. And he didn't.

Throughout that conversation, before that plane took off for Amsterdam, he would put me on hold in order to listen to the announcements made over the intercom by the flight attendants. He finally told me that he had to go because it was only a matter of minutes before his plane pushed back from the gate. The last thing I said to him was "Thanks Gozanga. Have a safe trip!" Little did I know...that small "thanks" was how I would express my gratitude for everything he has ever done for me...and that I was wishing him a safe trip home and to heaven.

I was nothing but shocked when I learned of his passing...I immediately made some phone calls just to make sure it was true and it wasn't a joke that someone was playing on me. It was no surprise to me that he passed while travelling amongst his family. Those were some of the things I remember him talking about the most; his adventerous travels and his love for and longing to be around his family.

The things I would have said to Gonzaga had I known that that would be the last time I spoke with him. The gratitude I would have expressed...the stories I would have shared. I loved talking to him. I loved going into his office to ask about an assignment that I had submitted to him the semester before and finding out that it had probably made its way to his "circular file"...his fancy name for a trash can. Every time he mentioned how things ended up in his "circular file" it always reminded me that it was okay to not look back and move on to bigger and better things. I'll always remember hearing his voice echoing throughout the halls of our department...and how his smile and laugh were both so contagious. He always made me smile and laugh...and always reminded me to slow down and let things happen naturally. He was always so eager to listen...and support me in anything I did.

I was looking forward to taking graduate classes from him and coming to him for more support throughout my studies. I am extremely grateful to have ever crossed paths with him. The lessons he has taught me in and out of the classroom are ones that I will take with me for the rest of my life. I'm thankful that his family was able to share him with the world. I am humbled and grateful for the opportunities and experiences I had with Gonzaga...and I am saddened for those who have never had the chance to meet and learn from him. I offer my utmost condolensces to his family, friends, and students. Our lives have been deeply impacted by Gonzaga and his legacy and wisdom will continue to live within all of us.

May you rest in peace, Gonzaga.

Monica Bugaoan

San Jose State University, Class of 2008.

On Dr. da Gama's passing

2009-07-05T14:00:00.000-07:00

I wasn't heavily involved with Gonz, but felt I knew him fairly well. He and I worked to bring the Signs of Hope summer camp to about forty youth, mainly from foster families, many summers. There was an offhanded generosity about him that allowed him to take a quiet leadership role with ease. While he didn't appear to take himself overly seriously, he wasn't a guy to be trifled with. His commitment to 'Kingdom work' was made evident in his continual presence and attention. He could make what seemed to be an offhand remark, but on reflection was exactly what needed to be said to put a meeting back on track.

If he weren't such a strong, committed Christian, I'd be far sadder about his passing. The Gonz has simply moved on.

Kevin Arnold

I miss you Gonz

2009-07-05T09:07:00.000-07:00

I remember Gonz as a part of my life for as long I can remember understanding what an extended family means. Gonz is my mom’s cousin, but over the past 10 years or so I’ve really come to think of him more as my own peer, too. He was such a connector – bringing together different generations, different cultures, different ways of thinking, different experiences. He changed hats better than anyone I know. Gonz was a mentor to many young people, including me. Somehow he managed to be old enough to have experience, while young enough, “hip enough,” that I was willing to listen to him. He encouraged me to make some of the most meaningful decisions I’ve made so far:

• In college, he helped me write my first grant proposal. I remember our late night phone calls as we included the “grant winning buzz words” he recommended. In the end, I did win a scholarship to study in Goa for the summer! That opportunity allowed me to learn about my research topic, my family, and probably most importantly, myself. Even until now, Gonz was my sounding board as I worked through many ideas, including lessons learned during that meaningful summer.

• A year later, Gonzi talked me through my decision to move to California after graduation, where I lived about an hour and a half from him. I can’t possibly explain what an impact Gonzi had on me during those two years. Gonz always made me feel like I was worth the long drive. In Berkeley, he showed me around his old hangouts and told me about his struggles and successes there, convincing me that I might be able to make it there, too. He’d regularly take me out to dinner (I was poor), walk with me around the lake, come to BBQs and parties, and talk with me about “life in general.” Our Thanksgiving road trip of 2003 was especially meaningful – he made me drive the whole last half (from 12:30 -6:30 am) while he snored in Sally’s passenger seat! But the conversations we shared were worth
everything.

I would often hear about one of his classes, “Creating a Meaningful Life,” which helped me along in doing just that. He loved meeting my friends in the Bay Area, and they loved him, too. Also in California, Gonz helped me connect with Sancho, who I didn’t know as well as Gonz before moving down. I liked thinking we were a family threesome. Gonz and Sancho still rank as two of my most fun cousins ever!!

• Most recently, Gonz was always talking me through my academic plan. Along with Ranae, he proof-read my application essays that helped me get into the program I’m in now. He was continuing to advise me about career paths and specialty areas as he went to India this summer. Since he's been away, I’ve been writing lists of the things I needed to ask him about when he comes back…there’s so much I still have to learn from Gonzi!

I’ve always considered Gonz as someone who rallied for the needs of underrepresented people. He was the first person I knew who championed rights of people with all types of abilities and disabilities. He never missed an opportunity to be inclusive, never left someone out. I really think that my drive to serve underserved populations stems from Gonzi’s example – I think we come from a family that defines “achievement” in a fairly traditional way, and Gonz broke ground in redefining those terms. Knowing Gonz was an activist, I felt like I could be one, too!

Gonz was important to me because he was important to family. When Gonz was off in Minnesota, I remember feeling like someone in our family was missing. When he came back, I saw how happy everyone in our family was: how my mom would gush in Portuguese, how my dad would cook up something special. When I was away in Bolivia, Gonz was one of the people who took the time to help Grandma write me letters. Seeing his handwriting all along the aerogram, with her shaky signature at the bottom, convinced me of what a loving family I have. Gonz brought us together and reminded us how good we are.

With Gonz around, I always felt like I was worthwhile. Gonz had a way of making me feel special every time I spoke with him. Gonz always listened to my problems and enthusiastically offered his opinion. In many ways, he knew me better than any other family member. His advice had just the right balance of flavors: conservative Indian family, young person in America, enough distance for perspective, and overall kindness. He was someone I was willing to listen to because I really felt like he understood and cared.

There are lots of lessons I’ve learned from Gonzi. One thing about Gonz is that he worked hard to define who he was and be respectful of himself. Most of the time, it didn’t seem easy – I guess it’s that way for everyone who really tries. Gonz was a trusted friend because he genuinely liked people. What a powerful idea, to actively and genuinely find worth in everyone you know! I’m not saying I didn’t hear complaints sometimes, but I did notice an unwavering faith in every single person’s intrinsic value. I hope I can live in an equally engaged, nurturing way.

Over the past ten years or so, I’ve really come to rely on Gonz for support and guidance. I’m shocked and sad that Gonz isn’t with me anymore. I still really need him. I look forward to finding support among all Gonz’s friends and family, and in knowing that he’s still supporting me, just in a different way. Gonz has taught me so much, and although I wish he could teach me so much more, I’m going to try to keep growing in the ways he would have been proud of.

Rachael De Souza,

Seattle, WA

Celebrating Gonz

2009-07-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

Gonz has been a wonderful friend to me over the last eight years. He has been a huge blessing in my life, and his passing is a great loss to me and to our community. I will miss his joyful and calming presence and the priority he placed on relationships. I will miss the way he greets you with a big hug and complete attention when he has not seen you for awhile. I will also miss seeing the affection he has for his dear friends- Paul, Scottie and Alfred.

I guess I often forgot that Gonz had a PhD because he rarely talked about his degree and didn‘t have the look of a professor in his blue jeans, bright green Crocs and t-shirt. The way I will remember Gonz the most is the many encouraging words he spoke to me. This last year when we needed some extra help facilitating our newcomers table at our singles’ ministry, I called Gonz to ask him if he would help us. His energetic response put a quick smile on my face when he said -“Christl, I will do anything to help you. “ I then recall his excitement after connecting with the newcomers and having authentic conversations with them over spiritual matters. He loved all types of people, and I knew he was serving in the right place.

In closing I want to say a few words to Gonz- ”Gonz, you have been a constant friend always looking for the best in me and readily communicating affection. Thank you for the practical way you would help us in our ministry at church. Thank you for your example of living with an implicit trust in the Lord. Gonz, because you claimed Jesus as your Lord, you now are with Him and we do celebrate your reunion with our Lord even though our hearts ache to see you again and hear your voice. Gonz, pray that we, your friends here, might continue to work for the Lord with great diligence until He calls us to Heaven when we then can see you again face to face. “

Romans 8:38, 39- For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, not any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Christl Kirchner

Mountain View, CA

friend of Gonz

Update

2009-07-04T19:01:00.000-07:00

7/4/2009 at 20:00 Hrs Indian time.

At This Moment the Body of our Brother Gonzaga has arrived in Goa by Air-India, the same airline that took him to the US somewhere in the early eighties.

Looks like he completed a final circle and is finally going to be rested in his village cemetry in MOIRA on Monday around 17:00 Hrs Indian time.

Jose Da Gama Pais

Condolences

2009-07-04T10:51:00.000-07:00

Dearest Fr. Anand & my dear friend Jose,

I’m deeply shocked with no more words to express the loss of my friend Gonzaga. I just don’t know what has taken the toll on him.

As I have written and always expressed, I had a sincere wish to meet Gonzaga someday, that may revive our old memories of Brittos.

I guess that was not in our destiny. May God grant him eternal peace, I pray.

Please accept my sincere condolences and sympathies to you and all in the family, specially your parents who have to be witness to this untimely sad moment.

Reginaldo - Rico, Parra

(Anita/Roberto’s brother)

Until we meet in heaven

2009-07-04T06:55:00.000-07:00

God placed a rare gem among us men on earth. And this precious gem could be seen among the old and young, rich and poor, family and friends, relatives and strangers, the strong and infirm, the physically needy and emotionally needy, the deserving and not so deserving , the close or distant--and they were all transformed/ touched/ healed /inspired.

Gonzi, you will never leave my heart. I am still secure with your huge bear hug before your Kenya trip. Bye, until we meet in Heaven.

Cousin Cecilia
Porvorim
Goa, India

Gonzi, my old schoolmate

2009-07-04T06:33:00.000-07:00

I’m deeply moved by the number of write-ups in Britto Net and this memorial blog site that have poured following the death of Gonzaga. I’m shocked by his sudden demise.

Like many returnees from East Africa, I was one who often shared my views with him specially during the first difficult years in St. Brittos High School. He was one who shared the Portuguese lingo with me. If memory serves me right, we were class mates from 9th Std. Jolly good fellow, full of naughty smiles with a soul of an angel; I can still recollect his person shining at the school passing out parade of 1979. After leaving Brittos we seem to have been in different worlds, far apart from each other. Nevertheless, I had always wished to meet him in person sometime, someday in our ever-land Goa. Destiny is such and I now feel his loss. May God grant him eternal rest.

I herewith extend my sincere condolences to Fr. Anand Pais, Jose Pais, all his family members and off course all BOBs/friends/well wishers who have associated with him and share this moment of grief. Indeed we have lost an adorable friend.

All that is written in this memorial blog archive speaks for itself - Gonzaga da Gama Pais, my old schoolmate.

Reginaldo Ricardo de Sousa
St. Britto’s Goa (India) class of 1979
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

Farewell Dr Gonzaga Da Gama

2009-07-04T06:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at the First Friday evening mass, I listened to Fr Anand,s homily. I thought it was some anecdote or story that always fills a preacher’s sermon- but suddenly midway I got shaken up when I realized that it was the true happening of Fr Anand’s own brother, Gonzaga. After meeting Fr Anand when the mass was over, along with a crowd of parishioners trying to share his grief, I was totally shocked and saddened on hearing of Gonzi’s sudden passing away and seeing his lovely smiling happy pictures on the table. Listening to Fr Anand and reading the blogsite I seem to know Gonzi intimately (hence I take the liberty of addressing him as Gonzi), and feel that I have missed meeting a great person with so many talents and qualities, and most of all , a person who gave to others and helped others in so many ways. He had so many scholarly and technical achievements, yet finally settled in a field of sociology, touching the lives of others- a social worker in the true sense.

Fr Anand tells of his father passing away when he himself was just 10 years and I can see Gonzi shouldering the additional responsibility – he was so close to his brothers and mother and their children and striving to help the family and acting as a bonding agent throughout, visiting regularly, ringing Mother daily- a model brother and a model son. The more I read the blogsite the more I feel that I missed something and someone.

It also saddens us to see the grief of Fr Anand and his mother ( to whom the news had to be broken only a day later after conditioning her, while she was preparing Gonzi’s favourite dishes for his arrival) - heart rending.

To those who met him and shared with him, it is their good fortune. For us who did not meet him, his ideals will serve as a guide. May his soul RIP and we pray for God to give his mother and family the strength to be able to bear this great loss.

Fr Anand heads a vibrant parish here in Porvorim, Goa, and all of us parishioners are saddened by Gonzi’s sudden death and to see Fr Anand in such grief. We wish to share this grief if we can lighten his. I was once told that all of us are God’s children and He gives us to our parents and families on “Loan”. But when He wants them dearly, He takes them back. We have to be thankful for His gift of the loan of Gonzi to us for 45 years.

Fondly remembered by

John and Meena DeSilva,

Holy Family Chursh Parish,

Porvorim, Goa.

Miss you Gonz

2009-07-03T23:51:00.000-07:00

Gonz Gonz Gonz, may your most peaceful heart and soul here on earth serve you well in heaven my friend. I have always admired your compassion and brilliance and know in my heart that you continue to shine. I will always cherish the memories of your truest laughter and joy at the most simple of things, the melodious way you would say my name 'Eeth!', and the important place you put friends and family in your life. I miss you dearly Gonz... love, Ethan (I'm one of Gonz's close friends since our days at U.C. Berkeley in the early 90s).

Ethan Janson
soundkite@yahoo.com
Seattle, Wa

Message from an Impact friend

2009-07-03T19:48:00.000-07:00

Gonzaga,

I still cannot understand that you will not came back to the Bay Area from your travels this summer.

Remember we had plans to meet up regularly and I would teach you more German, since you enjoyed studying my language so much, one of your many hobbies, your many passions.

Gonz, I will miss your "Wie geht's?" every single time you came to Impact,our Singles group at church.

You made me feel special Gonz! I will miss helping you to practice your new German sentence you were learning at your German class at San Jose State. You were a busy professor, but you still had time to take interest in other people, cultures and languages!

Gonz it was you, who always encouraged me to trust God for my job to remain here in the US. Thank you for sharing your story with me how God provided for you and how much you learned about God's love for foreigners working in the US and growing in trusting Jesus in the whole process.

I remember it, like it was yesterday, when I shared from the front at Impact that I believe that God collects all our tears about our broken dreams in jars of clay in front of his throne, all our sorrows have to pass the throne of our King first... I appreciated your honesty about your many tears and many broken dreams in your life. I know that deep down in your heart you prayed for a wife for many years, but God did not allow this to happen, I can only cry about this fact.

You were a true gentleman Gonz, you treated all the young ladies at Impact with a lot of respect.

Your German friend Gabrielle, the messenger

P.S.: See you next in our Fathers house in HEAVEN!

A true man

2009-07-03T15:55:00.000-07:00

Gonz is a rare soul. He was one of those people that saw you. The first time I met him, I was struck by how real he was. When he asked you how you were doing, he really meant it. He wanted to hear the truth, not the casual "fine." My experience of Gonz was always that he wanted to connect with you; he was committed to letting you know you mattered to him. Gonz and I had wonderful, uplifting conversations about our personal, cultural, spiritual and political beliefs. I love that he called himself a Feminist. He understood the real definition as equality for all. This was a true man. He deeply felt and worked toward all people having what they need and having the freedom to participant in our world. Gonz walked his talk. I felt his passion when I listened to his thoughts and opinions. And boy, did I respect him for his eloquent speaking talent! Standing true to his belief in God, he was able to include the excluded with respect and love. Gonz worked to change the world. He saw he could make a difference...and we know, he did.

Thank you, Gonz, for every conversation I had with you. You always made me feel seen and heard. You inspire me. You remind me of all the good in the world. You model the way I strive to be. I have always looked up to you. Your effect on the world and my little part of it will be everlasting. My promise to you is to continue our work. Your huge light will shine through all of us you touched. Your powerful spirit will live and thrive. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for being a part of my life.

Love,
Robyn Harrington
Novato, CA

Goodbye dear friend and colleague

2009-07-03T14:33:00.000-07:00

It is hard to know where to start. Such a dear man, such a friend to so many, an inspired and inspiring teacher, a devoted and committed mentor, a consummate colleague. The accolades and superlatives could go on and on. In the past few days, I have read blogs and email posts from friends, family, and colleagues. They all so richly capture the essence of Gonzaga.

I first “met” Gonzaga from his writings and professional interactions. He was such a bright man! Yet his intellect did not get in the way of his heart. Everything he did was from a centered, compassionate and passionate position. When I finally met Gonzaga in person, I was so glad to meet someone in our field with whom I felt a strong affinity. I wanted to hear all about him and his thoughts on such important issues as inclusion of people with disabilities and all of his efforts to move people with disabilities from “clienthood” to citizenship. Yet, as I began to ask him about himself, he stopped me immediately and told me about my influence on him. I was honored and humbled. And right then, I knew again the kind of person that he was. He was selfless, caring, giving, humble, and kind. He was the kind of person whom I am proud to have called a colleague and friend. Your spirit will not die, Gonzaga. All of your like-minded friends and former students will not let it. We will all strive to be the kind of person you were. We will all strive to be untiring advocates. We will strive to look forward, and not backward, with a contagious smile, just like yours.

Your department, college and university will miss you Gonzaga. You have left a hole. Rather than say, “ a hole we cannot fill...”, because I know that you would not want that, I will say, “a hole that we will strive to fill”. As Dean of the College in which you worked, I pledge to ensure that we keep your spirit alive. For starters, in the fall semester 2009, I will give a need-based scholarship to a graduate student in recreation who best exemplifies your work. You will not be forgotten. You will live with us.

And to your mum and your family, Gonzaga, although I cannot even imagine her and their sorrow, I want her and them to know that you lived a full life in San Jose touching countless people at the university and in the community. For a person to pass through this life with such an impact is rare. You will truly be missed by me and many, many others.

Charlie Bullock
San Jose State University

recuerdo de gonz

2009-07-03T12:33:00.000-07:00

I am grateful that Mom is on her way to Goa. We pray for her safe arrival and for all who are together and gathering in Goa and Mumbai to remember Gonzaga. Here in Nicaragua my family and I are remembering Gonzaga and praying for all in India and the US and everywhere who also love dear cousin, brother, friend, colleague, teacher Gonzi. My family here is great – over the past four plus years that I have lived with them they have gotten to know Gonzi through all the times he comes up in stories about our family in Seattle and India -- Delivering pizza in the snow -- studying insects -- international scholarships -- recreation therapy with adults and youth with disabilities -- fancy crusty bread -- conferences around the country, and world -- visiting dona Gertrudes in every vacation -- Birkenstock sandals -- coming to Seattle to watch Grandma Doris when we were away -- the death of his friends in the car accident -- not drinking -- the parakeets -- car Sally -- qualitative research -- being a loving best friend to Mom -- ethnographies with older graduate students and aptly-named ¨Dr. Kool¨ -- mentoring university and grad students -- teaching the ever-popular quality of life class -- Starbucks coffee -- grant writing -- sturdy shoes for walking -- visiting Grandma Doris first thing from the airport -- helping with the driving -- accompanying me to Safeway -- Chinese restaurants – Greenlake -- working at the laptop at the dining table -- drinking ice water -- deli turkey -- family holidays -- life, family and friends in San José -- Grandma Doris´s funeral -- always ready to help, to accompany, to listen -- chatting on gmail at work or by cell phone ¨Hola, cómo estás mi amiga?¨ he would greet me -- encouraging me to pursue the internship in Nicaragua -- that Mexican restaurant in Berkeley with flour tortilla chips -- helping me identify for myself what I wanted -- loving his friends and loving being with his friends -- taking good emotional and spiritual care of himself that allowed him to take good care of others -- putting into practice and acknowledging the importance of doing what one loves in the days that we´ve got ¨Life is gooood J¨ Gonz reminded us. Gonz spent the time in trial and error in figuring out for himself what made him come alive and living his life accordingly. I/We loved being around Gonzi because as someone true to himself he was alive to all of us. It´s hard to comprehend that Gonzi is gone, that just five days ago he was enjoying a long-awaited safari trip and emailing us about how much fun he was having… I am sad that Gonzi will not be calling me on my cell phone from San José, chatting online from Goa, or sleeping over on long weekends in Seattle. I think of Mom nearing her arrival in Mumbai who will see Gonzi´s body one last time and be together with all our family to remember him. I am thinking of all of you and especially on Monday for Gonzi´s burial. I am grateful for my dear cousin and friend Gonz and the example and love and honesty he has shared with me. I love you Gonzi. Thank goodness he has strung us all together to support one another, too. Love, Ranae

Ranae DeSouza,

Nicaragua.

7/3 Update - Memorial services / Send pics

2009-07-03T11:05:00.000-07:00

Currently the funeral service is set to take place in India on Monday, 7/6. For more details, please contact Anand Pais at anandpais@hotmail.com.

A memorial service is tentatively set to take place in Mountain View, CA on Saturday, 7/18. More details to be announced later on this blog.

Finally, please send us any pictures of Gonzaga you have that you would like included in a slideshow / video montage that is being prepared. You may email the photos to gonzagamemorial@gmail.com.

My fleeting meetings with Gonzy

2009-07-02T23:04:00.000-07:00

Inspired by Nikhil’s (Gonzy’s and my nephew) lovely article in this blog, touching upon the nephew-uncle relationship and beyond, thought I’ll quickly pen a few thoughts about Gonzy, since he spent the last 20 hours of his life in my home. Just by way of introduction, my sister is married to Gonzy’s brother Jose (Nikhil’s father) who resided in Mombasa. I had the pleasure of hosting Gonzy in Nairobi for under a day on his way back from Mombasa to Goa via Nairobi.

Although I do not intend this to be a chronological record of events that unfolded, thought I’ll mention some events fresh in my memory, thereby hoping to preserve them. I picked Gonzy and Nikhil up at the Nairobi airport on Sunday late morning and got to chatting about his stay in Mombasa. Gonzy was most thrilled about his Safari in Tsavo, and I’m happy that he spent some of the last few days of his life enjoying and seeing the best of nature and animals in their most natural habitat. Throughout his trip from the airport to my home, I remember Gonzy trying to gather in as much of his surroundings as possible and absorbing each moment to its fullest. Gonzy and I got into a lengthy discussion about the Famous Five’s habits in the wild, and what animals were seen readily and where, along with the individuality of the various gameparks around Kenya. Gonzy was fascinated with what he had seen in the Kenyan wilds and had promised to return back, along with a friend from the US. I sincerely hope that he has a much better view of the wild from wherever he is today.

I’ve not known Gonzy for too long. However, we were meeting more and more frequently in the last few years in Goa, since Gonzy was visiting Goa more often, including in the festive season of Christmas, which coincided with my yearly visits to Goa. During Gonzy’s visit to Nairobi, I did comment on the same and the fact that it was so great to re-kindle family relationships. Maybe, it had to do with passing on of experience to the next generation of nephews and nieces in Goa, maybe it was catching up with family and what Gonzy had missed during a onetime prolonged absence from Goa. Or maybe, something completely different, which only Gonzy could explain in his unimitable combination of US-accented English and Portuguese. Whatever the reason, I’m sure our extended families in Goa were only richer for the experience.

Children have always captivated Gonzy and they in turn have always been attached to him. I’ve seen him form strong bonds with his young nephews and they have looked up to him for inspiration and advice. Unassuming by nature, Gonzy has never been forthcoming about his professional and work related achievements. Consequently, this blog, though untimely by cause of origin, has been an eye-opener to me, especially in relation to what Gonzy has been keeping himself busy with in his professional life.

When embarking on this article, I was tempted to share the exchanges and events that led to his untimely demise on that fateful Monday morning, but decided against it, since I’d like to remember Gonzy from the limited and joyous times my family and I had the day before, wherein we exchanged interesting conversations, a lunch and dinner with Gonzy, whilst exploring a little bit of Nairobi. In the short span of time we had together, Gonzy made time to discuss interests and various other topics with Alysia, my daughter of 12, as well as Neil, my son of 10.

Alysia and Neil were the last to say a formal goodbye to Gonzy, before they left for school. Little did we all know how final it would be. Knowing Gonzy’s attachment to the younger generation, perhaps, it was only fitting.

Aulio Martins

Nairobi, Kenya.

A Man Who Cared

2009-07-02T14:23:00.000-07:00

Gonzaga was a kind and wonderful man and his life has left a mark on my heart as well as my knowledge and work. He went out of his was to help me when I needed it, even if I did not deserve it. If I went to his office nervous or worried about my studies, I always left with renewed confidence due to his kind words. His impact on my work was much farther reaching than he can ever imagine. He was my role model as well as my mentor and I will miss him.

Marla Howard
San Jose, CA

Condolences

2009-07-02T13:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Paul, Scottie, and Family:

Our hearts are deeply saddened by sudden loss of our Brother in Christ and Dear Friend Gonzaga. I had the honor of knowing him through helping to faciliate our Impact Bible Study Newcomers Table. We will miss his warm caring spirit and sharp wit that would make us all feel warm and welcome. He was like a brother to many and will be deeply missed but always remembered.

In Christ Love & Ours,

JoAnna Quan

CA, US

Finishing Well... A Tribute to our beloved Gonz

2009-07-02T11:47:00.000-07:00

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Life's ultimate goal is never just running the race, it is finishing well. Gonz, it is easy to see you have finished well. Your life has produced an abundance of fruit in your amazing earthly journey. You touched each one of us deeply... you were a shining star, thank you.

In an attempt to pay tribute to Gonz, and as I reflect on a wonderfully unique and compassionate man, may I say that a first time encounter with Gonz practically guaranteed lasting friendship. People were simply his passion... people of all walks... family, friends or acquaintances... and he was determined to use his God-given talents to make an everlasting imprint on each life he touched. He had an incredible zest for life, and purposely viewed life with an eternal perspective, being true to the call of being a living sacrifice. Gonz exemplified...

"If a man's gift is ... serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully..." (excerpt from Romans 12)

Gonz was not only committed to caring for others (which he did exceptionally well) or to spurring others on in their life's journey. He possessed an unquenchable thirst for greater knowledge and understanding.

2 Peter 1: 5-8,10,11 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ... Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I will miss your beautiful, contagious spirit, Gonz. I will miss your glowing face as you uttered my name, Mags! I will never forget your indomitable spirit and your uniqueness. With calm assuredness I know you received a rich welcome from our Lord Jesus as you crossed over, slipped your hand in his, and heard him exclaim, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Marileigh "Maggie" Steadman

Santa Rosa, CA

My memory of Gonz

2009-07-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

I will always remember being greeted by Gonz's warm smile. I always felt so welcomed by his presence and uplifted by his encouraging words. He was a man who emanated God's joy and passion. He was a big encouragement when I served as a counselor at Royal Family Kids Camp. My fondest memory was when Gonz and I discovered we have the same blackberry phone. I had fun playing as "IT" and showing him the features on the phone. He was absolutely thrilled when he found out he could change his display screen to apple green. He had such childlike joy and excitement. I will miss his presence but have comfort to see him in heaven one day.

Ines Shih,

Sunnyvale, CA

Gonzaga Memorial

2009-07-02T09:22:00.000-07:00

Well, Gonzaga came across to me and the family as a very affable person. We met him at a couple of times at family parties in Goa-India and he seemed full of life. He was a very well read person.

Well his death was quite a shock to us all.

Nonetheless, That 's how life is. All good things must one day come to an end.

But yes we thank the Good Lord for giving us the gift of Gonzaga.

Gonzaga, May Your Good Soul Rest In Peace.

Alex Pacheco and Family

Margao-Goa, India

Dr. da Gama

2009-07-02T09:08:00.000-07:00

Dr. da Gama, I called him and he would say "GONZZAGA!." I loved him so much that one day I asked him to marry me. And yesterday, hearing of his passing wished I had tried harder to talk him into it. He just smiled that broad smile that covered his whole face and didn't even answer. As I read the blogs, I tear up realizing that his life was not all about me. In a sense you may think I am being egotistical, but the truth is as you all know, when Gonzaga was with you, you were the only one and it was all about you. He was so engaged in the moment and if you were ever lucky enough to be in his moment you were pulled into the very essence of the now. I love Gonzaga and I cannot feel bad that he has left us since I am so grateful for the time he gave to me. And to his friends, students, coworkers and family, I promise you I will only remember his time here as precious and loving, engaging, humanitarian, joyful and strong~~a great friend, a great mentor. What a gift we share.

Respectfully,

Karon Fleming, Office Coordinator

Department of Physics and Astronomy

San Jose State University

God takes the best...

2009-07-02T08:05:00.000-07:00

GOD TAKES THE BEST AND LEAVES THE REST BEHIND TO BECOME BETTER

--- by Dr.Silvestre Nazare, Germany

On Monday 22 June, almost a week before his death, Gonzi as we used to call him, wrote a mail to his brother Fr. Anand and I quote “I have begun realizing that I want to spend as much time as I can with Mae and you and with those I love and with whom I am not guaranteed much time”. Was his inner voice whispering to him that Providence had other plans for him? We shall never know. All we know for sure is this: that we shall sorely miss him, his jovial personality, his smile and his humour and most of all his willingness to listen and help. He detested conflicts and always looked for ways of conciliation and compromise and mediation.

On the blog that his friends in America have put on the Internet Gonzi has been described as a “Big Guy”. That he was; not only in his frame but in what counts most namely in his heart and in his head. There was something uniquely natural about him that put everyone at ease and filled the Gama Pais house when he was around. An exemplary and devoted son, he took a Sabbatical to spend almost six months with his Mother in Moira performing all sorts of household chores. He used to call her sometimes twice a day to chat and cheer her up.

It is really amazing- to quote his brother Fr. Anand – “that he almost lived his life for others in the family as well as in his profession”. This was probably precisely because of the difficulties he had to face as a child and student. He had to through the trauma of seeing the suffering and the untimely death at a young age of his father Caetano.Not deterred by any obstacles, he went on to study Agriculture at Dapholi in Maharashtra and Delhi and then on a Scholarship for a Doctoral Course in Entomology at Berkley, California. He however discovered that his vocation was connecting with people; so ultimately he did his PHD in Sociology at the University of Minnesota. Being a passionate Goan and proud of his roots in Moira, he preferred the sand and the seas of California and joined the Faculty of the State University of California at San Jose.

To die at such a young age means to have many dreams and hopes and plans unfulfilled and yet his Mother and brothers and nephews and niece who adored him were able to meet him one last time. And if we had to go up a thousand steps on our knees to bring our Gonzi back we would do it. But that is not possible. So we can only say: dear Gonzi, although you are no longer there where you were, you are now everywhere where we are, for we shall always remember and never forget you.

It is true that his sudden death has left the family and his dear ones speechless, distraught and stunned. Only the mothers among you’ll will fathom what this loss means to his mother and how devastated she is. But we also know that Gonzi , who never looked back and thought so positively, would like us to go about our daily lives and not be paralysed by sorrow. We have to be grateful that we had him as our friend and relative at least for a while. That God in the words of the Prophet Isaiah said “I have called you by name; you are mine” at such a young age is not for us to question but to accept.

Adieus Gonzi; may the Angels take you to Paradise and our Faith tells us that we shall all meet in the end when we come to dwell in the House of the Lord.

Fr. Anand da Gama Pais,

Goa, India.

Gonzaga's brother.

Goodbye neighbor and friend

2009-07-02T03:33:00.000-07:00

I was stunned to hear the sad news of Gonzaga. We grew up in the same village of Moira and attended the same school (St. Britto’s, Mapusa). While we were not very close during our growing up years, we had an opportunity to draw closer during our years together in Minnesota, where I lived and worked at the time and where Gonzaga was pursuing his Phd.

Gonzaga was very close to my children, Jeremy and Justin(very small at the time). He was particularly very fond of my older son Jeremy who had a pet name for him which I now cannot recall. Jeremy at the time was just diagnosed with autism, a developmental disorder. I’m sure Gonzaga’s sensitivity towards Jeremy had much to do with his research work in recreational therapy and the work he was doing with people with disabilities.

I remember that Gonzaga enjoyed my cooking. He would visit us often, especially during the weekends. I remember us staying up till the early hours of the morning engaging in deep discussions on a myriad of topics. Gonzaga loved a little bit of “village gossip” too. He would readily soak up any news of Moira I would share with him. We laughed a lot about our village ways, our strange customs. Gonzaga was a true intellectual and a very sensitive individual.

Sadly, we lost touch again when he moved to San Jose and my own life circumstances changed following my divorce. I am learning a lot more about him as a person as I read the postings from those who knew and loved him.

Gonzaga, I have already prayed for you and will continue to do so in the coming days.

May the Lord comfort his family, especially his mother, who I can imagine must be totally shattered. I know how fond he was of his mother. I shall certainly pray for her. May mother Mary comfort her and intercede for her for the grace she needs to get through this sorrow, for Mother Mary understands what it is like to lose a precious child at a young age.

Regards,
Jaime DeMelo
Dubai, UAE

Life is a journey

2009-07-01T21:44:00.000-07:00

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the
intention of arriving safely in an attractive and
well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways,
Champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other,
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and
screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!"

Gonzaga, in my opinion lived life fully. He cared deeply for his family, his friends and his God. As his once office mate, I know that he spoke 7 languages using many of them at once during phone calls. Gonzaga was often found engaging in intense and emotion filled conversations. He spoke his mind freely and often and loved to share his knowledge and experiences with others. He travelled regularly to exotic places, threw himself into professional activities and teaching, and volunteered for agencies to help the young and people with special needs. Once, on returning from summer break, Gonzaga brought me a scarf from India so I would know a little of his Goa. That was very kind. Alas, Gonzaga has transitioned but to die in Kenya after an african safari seems to reflect the sentiments of the above quote (author unknown) and Gonzaga's spirit. Gonzaga died too young but I truly believe he had a Woo Hoo ride. How many of us can say that? Thanks for that final lesson, Gonzaga.

Linda Rainbow Levine
SJSU-HRTM
San Jose CA

You are sorely missed!

2009-07-01T21:40:00.000-07:00

Dr. da Gama, you are sorely missed! Our hearts ache to see your twinkling eyes, and hear your teasing words and hearty laugh. Seldom does one meet a more compassionate and passionate person who knows how to live life to its fullest. The mark of a fine teacher is one who instills in his students the idea that they can make a difference in this world; that they are capable of reaching just a bit higher. You led us by your own example. Thank you for asking more of us; for encouraging us to "dig deeper"; for always listening with an open mind, and for connecting us one to another through your research. We are blessed for having known you. You have truly made a difference in so many lives! And perhaps we can honor you by living our lives as you lived yours: with sensitivity and compassion for others.

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." --Revelation 21:4

With fondness and respect,
Deb Ullmann
San Jose, California

The last 10 days of Gonz’s life with Gonz - Nikhil Da Gama Pais

2009-07-01T17:05:00.000-07:00

Where do I start??? What do I say???

In the last 3 days I have seen and experienced how life can turn a complete 180 without one even expecting anything like this.

I am just writing this well and truly from my heart.

Gonz may biologically be my uncle. But only I know that to me he was much more…a father figure to say the least.

My dad works in Kenya. The summer hols in goa my mum and brothers came to visit him but I could not due to my exams in college.

It was when he realized that I would be missing my time with my dad that he decided that he would accompany me to visit him so that I can bond with dad.

We left goa on 19th… we reached kenya.Mombasa that’s where my dad is. He only wanted one thing to do on this trip. Go for an African safari. That was his only wish for this trip. He never asked for anything more.

We spent a lot of time during the day together. Practically the whole day since during the week my dad would work.

He shared a lot of himself with me in these days than I think he had ever done earlier.

Told me all about his earlier days of struggle and what it took him to get to the States and all the hard work that he put in not only to get there but for many years after even getting there.

He never had a godfather to support him anywhere be it in India during his studies or once he reached there. He had lost his dad at the age of 15.the only help and support was from his mum and brothers.

He stood up on his own feet. And stood up the hard way.

He told me all this so that it would motivate me. Make me work hard. Make me go further… push myself a little more.

He would hate it when I would just waste my time either continuously watching sports or just lazing around whenever he used to call from the States.

Now that he had a lot of time to spend with me on a personal level during this holiday he spoke to me at length at times explaining to me how what choices I make now will make a difference in the long run…

He told me so much about his life in the u.s...His life with his room mates, Scottie sharp and Paul baty…

What a difference they had made in his life…how they took turns in taking care of him when he was sick and had a broken shoulder… how they innumerable many times dropped him and picked him from the airport and small things like that.

Listening to him only I could truly tell he loved these guys.

We also opened up about his other friends. paul chen, shu,alfred,ranjan,ines,j.d,,sancho…

Our cousin Maria and her family in Seattle who he had a very special bond with… very very special one…

How all of them were his family away from family…

I thank each and every one of them… some of whom I personally don’t even know…actually most of them…

Many times during this holiday he would take me to facebook and show me all his friends…show me their pictures… tell me all about them… what was special in them… how Scottie loves to work at e-bay…and loves to go skiing. About his car…how Paul was amazing at tennis.

Showed me pics of paul in his tennis kit…and lots and lots more

He was a great motivator. The best I have ever known and his students will agree with me on this. He had more faith in me and my abilities and in my brothers than even I did…

He was like a father to my 2 brothers and me…

I still remember how last year he made so many trips with me to my engineering school when my admissions process was going on… at times he would just sit in the car and wait till it was done or sit by my side and help me remain calm… he dint have to do all this but that was gonz.. the guy who cared to the max…at that time I dint realize it but today when I slowly reflect and try to get myself to accept it I think that he played one of the most crucial roles…

He did small things but important things… he was a guy you could always talk to no matter what the topic was and I experienced it in Africa…

He was most connected with mae.His mum…he always kept adding 2:30 hours to the time in Kenya so that he could think of what his mum would be doing in goa.. Whether she would be sleeping, praying, watching television… he knew it all since he spent almost all day with her… he kept her motivated. Got her puzzles like sudoku and word finders from there so that she could keep her mind working well.

He once mentioned to me this time that the only regret he had was not visiting her more earlier and now he was trying to make up for it by coming as often as possible…

He came 2 times a year without fail in the last 4-5 years.

When she was sick last year he spent around 6 months in goa just being by her side. Never leaving her even once.

He called her 2 times a day every single day without fail irrespective of where he was…

She is in shock… I request everyone to please pray for her…

We went on a 2 day safari together… you could tell that that was the best time of his holiday…. He loved animals…he loved nature… he would describe his experience as one of the best of his life… he had even decided that he wanted to come on another one with his friend Nicholas from Boston if I am not mistaken…

I guess God had other plans for him…

Another unique quality of him was that he always lived in the present. Never thought about the past. Never cared about what happened yesterday. Always looking forward to tomorrow…

He never ever lost his temper… never…

He tried to always look at things from a positive point of view…

He was a true gentleman in all respects…

He left a mark on most people’s lives with whom he came in contact with…

On our way back to India which he was very excited about since he wanted to see Mae dearly we made a one day stop in Nairobi.

On Monday morning he just collapsed in the bathroom…he was literally in my arms… I could do nothing about it. We rushed him to hospital but.

I still remember how we watched a football match together the previous night. u.s.a v/s brazil. It was the confederations cup final… he dint know a lot about football but eagerly was watching it.

We slept together on the same big bed. He even mentioned to me before saying good night- get some sleep nik tomorrow is going to be a crazy night. He said it in relation to our travel the next day i.e. Monday when we were leaving for Bombay since the whole night would have gone traveling and at the airports. From the next morning everything has been crazy but a crazy which cannot properly be described.

After he passed away I opened his wallet to see if I could find some documents which were needed by the authorities instead I found pictures of my brothers and me in there… I guess he loved the 3 of us more than we could ever imagine.

I have just tried to get my thoughts together and write this in memory of the big guy…

I don’t think I will ever be able to recover from this…just taking each day as it comes. No idea what tomorrow will bring… I only know that it’s going to be really really hard…Please pray for the Gama Pais family which is in shock and is devastated…

I apologize for any errors of any sorts be it with names or anything that might be there. I am no writer or anything… just an 18 year old college student who spent the last days of gonz with gonz.

He is up there and looking at us…They say God works in mysterious ways and has His reason for everything… everything that He does is perfect… I am sure it is…

I thank Him for allowing us to enjoy Gonz for the last 45 years…

Like most of you I will never be able to understand why God did what He did…

The sadness and sorrow of his loss will never go away with time…

God wanted him so much that He could not wait anymore….

Thank you Gonz for all the laughter, jokes, motivation, understanding, love, caring and everything that you brought along with you…

No one and nothing will ever be able to replace the relationship we shared… I thank God for giving us this past holiday together which I will never ever be able to forget.

It started right from the lounge at the airport in goa and culminated on Monday morning…

This article may not be good with regards to literary skill and other aspects but is one which has come straight from my heart. I have just spoken out everything what I feel about Gonz. Thank you Gonz. We will always love and remember you.

Nikhil

Goa, India

In honor of my boy GonZAga!

2009-07-01T14:31:00.000-07:00

I can’t believe you left this world as such a young man! You were a fireball, you were a thinker, you were outspoken as you always felt free to speak your mind. Together we tried to “push the envelope” and together we tried to create changes that we sometimes thought were impossible. I loved how you think, I appreciated your drive, I admired your sticktuitiveness – You never gave up, you always yearned for more, you had a way of believing things will get better. Your commitment to diversity, in all its shapes and forms, will always be remembered – I could go on. I’ll close by saying I’ll miss your big bear hug – Thanks for everything, our field won’t be the same without you.

Nina S. Roberts, Ph.D.
San Francisco State University

Professor Da Gama

2009-07-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

Gonzaga Da Gama was a great professor. He always strived to instill his critical, yet positive and righteous view of the world into the minds of his students. I would not hesitate to call him a passionate idealist who always chose to advocate for the underdogs despite the odds. That was basically his life's mission from how I understand it. Professor Da Gama illuminated many issues often swept under the rug of society and out of the minds of most college students.

He always rewarded hard workers and would time and time again, sacrifice his personal life to assist students professionally. It is because of him I succeeded in grasping many therapeutic concepts and persevered in college. He aided me when I had to pass my certification exam. Because of him I was introduced to the Dean of San Jose State University. He was a great reference if I ever needed one. He time and time again went out of his way to help me personally and professionally. Not so long ago at the Honors Convocation he greeted me warmly and buttered up my parents for me, making doubts of my Recreation major disappear. I was looking forward to working on research with him in the future but that day will never come. I will miss his witty and intellectual satire that made me chuckle.

You will always be somewhere in my mind, and be with me in spirit, keeping me at ease... no, not that kind of spirit. God Bless You, Professor Da Gama. May you rest in peace. Om Shanti.

Love,
Swapan A. Munshi

Tribute to a Wonderful Mentor

2009-07-01T09:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a sad day for the SJSU Recreation Department as word of Gonzaga's passing spread. He will forever be in our memories and in our hearts.

He truly touched my life. He was a great mentor for me, but more importantly he was my friend. He provided such a wonderful outlook on life and saw me through some of the most difficult times in my college career. We also shared a lot of great times too! His door was always open and whenever I needed him, he was there. He not only cared about my college career, but he cared about my personal well-being and was the constant reminder that I needed to take life one step at a time and ENJOY the journey.

It is my belief that the Rec Dept just won't be the same without him. For those of us who knew him, consider ourselves lucky, for we were fortunate to know such a wonderful person. Thank you Gonzaga- I wouldn't be where I am today without you!

Sincerely,

Jody Spencer

San Jose, CA

The Essence of the Big Guy

2009-06-30T21:42:00.000-07:00

Words cannot articulate the amount of respect and admiration I have for Gonzaga. He was my advisor, my mentor, and my friend. Gonzaga and I had a unique bond which cannot be defined. Gonzaga, or “Big Guy” as I called him due to his hierarchy of knowledge over my own, was the most genuine guy you could meet. His character or “essence” was that of a kind, humorous, scholarly, and carefree individual who always went out of his way for his students. His support during my internship was insurmountable and he filled me with confidence as I completed the final requirements toward my graduation. My memories of him will not ebb, they will continue to flow.

Here’s to Chinese food in Clovis.

Here’s to sharing candy from Goa.

Here’s to time spent on auto-ethnographies.

Here’s to your improving opinion of me from lazy undergraduate student to well adjusted graduate student as you so frequently joked.

Here’s to my unofficial thesis defense with you at Monsieur Beans.

Here’s to challenging me, yet supporting me through everything.

While these memories maybe simple, they are the memories I have and the experiences we shared.

Here’s to you….“Big Guy”.

Matthew Milde

San Jose, CA

Mentor and friend

2009-06-30T18:52:00.000-07:00

I was a commercial recreation student at San Jose State, graduating in 2007. Although only having a few classes with Gonzaga, I shared my last course at San Jose State with him. During my final semester Gonzaga became a mentor and a friend to me. He assisted with my internship, as well as my development into a professional. Gonzaga was a wonderful professor as well as a one of a kind human being. His hard work and dedication to the field of recreation was amazingly remarkable.

Since my graduation I have had the chance to build a professional relationship with Gonzaga, meeting with him a few times at functions as well as visit his classes and talk about my profession. In May I was lucky enough to spend about an hour with Gonzaga before and after his class. During this time Gonzaga and I spoke about life, and how my career was going. I was lucky to spend this time with Gonzaga and do wish his family and friends the best.

Gonzaga will long be remembered by myself as someone who helped me with my career decisions, as well as a friend. His voice and smile will long be remembered.

Ryan Davies

We will miss you!

2009-06-30T17:35:00.000-07:00

I have not had much of a chance to talk to Gonzaga these past several years, but have many fond memories of when we were in the same home group at the Vineyard (Palo Alto). I will miss his infectious smile, and how he sincerely cared for people. I think he personified the art of listening. I regret that I did not get a chance to catch up with him when I saw him briefly at our church recently, only a smile and wave across the rows of chairs. I did not realize until I saw the blog that we share the same birthday! I will smile and remember him on my birthday.

Sandy Kitagawa
San Jose, CA

Considering a Friend

2009-06-30T15:51:00.000-07:00

Today I consider how to let go of a good friend ...

I remember the contagious way Gonzaga celebrated people, blessing those around him with a perennially buoyant and purposeful spirit. I am thankful for experiencing his advocacy in prayer - a powerful compassion for people coupled with a loving insistence to our living God. Today, my heart aches as I wish for the time to learn much more from him.

I celebrate his peace and joy at being home with the Lord and oddly am just a little jealous he beat me there. I will miss my friend in this life.

Reflecting on our time together, I would like to see his caring, infectious smile one more time ... and look forward to the day I will.

Jeff Burkebile
San Francisco, CA

Going home

2009-06-30T15:49:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about the short journey of life, I shared with Gonz thru the Signs of Hope camp over the yrs.

I remember when were together at Bayshore Ministry, and we laughed about our shared experiences with the kids over the yrs and how he was looking forward to coming back to camp this yr. His smile and laughter will be missed. For Paul & Scotty during this time of bereavement,I am confident God shall take care of You...

Blessings,

Larry Moody

East Palo Alto, CA

In honor of Gonzaga

2009-06-30T14:16:00.001-07:00

This is definitely a sad passing. I thought I would honor Gonzaga by writing my memory of him.

My enduring memory of Gonzaga is that of a consistently happy person. And a person happy in his faith as well. He grew in his child-like faith, even as he achieved his intellectual goals (tenured at SJ State with international speaking gigs) - proving to the rest of us that the two can indeed happily co-exist!

Now his "fight" is over. Yet, our "fight" still continues. May we use his life as an inspiration to grow in our faith till the very end!

In Him,

Sandeep Poonen

Milibrae, CA

I lost a friend today

2009-06-30T09:27:00.000-07:00

I lost a friend today.

I lost a friend today and it hurts.

And the depth of pain and loss is both a reflection of, and a tribute to, my friend.

Most will write about Gonz's love for others. And this needs to be recorded for few ever made an impact on community as he did. But right now, my loss is more selfish.

For it was Gonz (and I know I will not be the only one to say this) it was Gonz who listened to me. He cared. He was accepting. He reached out time and time again. Even when I avoided … he reached. He loved many and he cared about me. Even more tragic, I don't remember ever telling him of the comfort he gave.

I wish I could tell him how I valued his ear, his voice, and his council. I wish I could see that focus and devotion to God and others once again. And his values and beliefs were that tangible … his body and actions were the physical manifestation of a man committed. Committed to God, committed to others, and committed to me.

The world seems smaller now.

I miss how he use to come home, take off his shoes by the front door, and ask me about my day.

I miss my friend.

Scott Sharp

Sunnyvale, CA

What can I say?

2009-06-30T08:20:00.000-07:00

Wow. What can I say? I am so shocked and taken off guard by the news of Gonzi's passing. It is still hard to believe and I keep thinking about how I wish it wasn't true that he is gone.

Many of Gonz's friends and all of his family do not know me at all, but I want to say that I believe I am one of the many people, whose lives Gonz has touched. My brother, Paul, met Gonzi in his first year of college at Berkeley, and brought him down to So. Cal. to meet our family. I thought he was a nice guy when I first met him, but little did I know that he would be in our lives for over 20 years after that. Ever since then, I have felt a warm closeness to Gonz and looked forward to seeing him whenever he would join Paul in a visit down to So. Cal. I really did feel like he was a brother to me, and I told him that many times.

There are a few things that I remember the most about Gonz that I want to share. This is how I saw Gonz: He was joyful, serious, contemplative, empathetic, loving, kind, open-hearted, playful, smart, helpful. He was a good listener and really made me feel like he cared about me. For many years, I have struggled with various difficulties in my own life and each time Gonzi would be down in our area for a short visit, no matter how short, he would take a moment between all my kids running around needing my attention, and whatever event he was here for, to ask me sincerely how I was doing. He would sit and really listen and offer up some sound advice if needed, or encouraging words or hugs, or just a listening ear if he felt that's all I needed. He was very intuitive and insightful, brilliantly wise, very giving of himself from the heart, and he really cared.

Recently, I have been struggling with more trials and difficulty in my own life and Gonz has offered to be a listening ear and asked me to call him if there is ever anything I would like to talk about with someone who cares about me. I regret to say I didn't do it. I have thought about him a lot in this most difficult time of my life and thought about calling him many times over the last 6-8 months, but never just picked up the phone to do it. I sincerely regret that and wish that I would have gone with my gut instincts, knowing that he really meant what he said, and called him to talk. Why didn't I do it? I didn't want to bother him with my problems... only to him it would not have been a bother.

When Gonz was here for a visit over the holidays we didn't get much of a chance to talk like we have in the past. We have had 1-hour, 2-hour, 3-hour long conversations, just sitting in a living room over coffee and I really missed that time. I really wish I would have called him Things just got so busy. I really miss Gonzi and I miss the conversation that we would have had. I am very sad that he is gone, but I know that he is in Heaven, a much better place than here. So, my tears are bitter sweet. Here's to Gonzaga! He was a good man and a great friend to many. A great friend to me and my family. My thoughts and prayers go out to his friends and family who are hurting over this tragedy and loss.

Dorothy Borklund

Brea, CA

My fondest memories of Gonz

2009-06-29T23:50:00.000-07:00

I have so much to share that I cannot even pinpoint one certain occasion of my fondest memories of Gonz. There are so many. To think that I only see him maybe once or twice a year during holidays and parties, sometimes at my house or at Paul's parents' house. I am a part of Paul Baty's family here in Southern California and I had the privilege of meeting someone like Gonz. Once he entered the room...you cannot ignore such a strong and sweet presence. He was very charismatic, intelligent, articulate, funny, down to earth, he had a way to make me laugh without even trying so hard, his energy is unbelievable, and once he talk to you... you feel that you're the only one in the room...he was so attentive. My last communication with him was thru facebook... he was a little down because a family member died but was excited because he was spending his summer with his mother in India.

I will truly miss you Gonz :-( ...thanks for the memories and laughters!

Amelia Deita

Fontana, CA

To one and all

2009-06-29T15:07:00.000-07:00

To one and all, who have experienced the friendship and love of Gonzaga da Gama (Gonz):

As I have expressed to some and most recently at my Retirement party, that Gonz has always been to us, as one of our family and even as a son to us. He has shown all of us, the Baty, Salveron, and Deita families, special love and warmth that we can only experience as generated from those who have joined the ranks of God's family. There has always been a special bond, as I am sure that many of you all have experienced, too. Gonz never hesitated to extend the warmth of his love to everyone, with whom he has come into contact and Mely and I are not among the least of these.

Gonz has been a special brother and friend to our family, dating back to our first meeting with him on Thanksgiving, when Paul was a young student at Berkeley. Paul brought Gonz and his friend to our home in Monrovia, CA in his 3rd month of college. Since that time he has attended numerous family celebrations and parties even though the distance is so great. I will always remember his cordial and loving smile, that tends to bring you right into the presence of Jesus, as Gonz was always emulating a Christ-like love for all his fellow brothers and sisters-in-Christ, without respect for status or position in our society. Gonz was high society for sure, but you would never know it by his cordial nature. I can only think that God must have wanted Gonz to be with Him and couldn't wait another day.

God has His reasons for taking one like Gonz so early in his life and His reasons are always perfect. But, this will not diminish or take away our feeling of loss and sorrow, today. We must say only that it was a blessing from God to have allowed Gonz into our fellowship over these past years, even if only for the limited time it was. May each of us use this time to reflect on our own personal relationship with our Christian families and associations and realize the mortality we all share. We never know when our time will come and we must live as if every day will be our last one on this Earth. God is good and He has been especially good to Gonz and to us for having allowed him into our lives. May all the friends of Gonz be comforted today, as we place our steadfast hope and love in Jesus, extending Christ's love to all with whom we come into contact daily. I know that Gonz would want this for us. It is what we are here for, after all. I can hear Gonz in my mind's eye saying, "Go for it!" That's what he would do, 'encourage his friends' and pray for the best for us. God bless you all!

With much love and very fond memories, at this time of our great sorrow and loss,

Don and Mely Baty

Desert Hot Springs, CA

Details of Gonzaga's passing

2009-06-29T14:00:00.000-07:00

We learned that Gonzaga passed away the morning of Monday, Jun 29, 2009 in Nairobi, Kenya.

He had been in Goa, India, spending the summer with his mom and family. From India, he travelled to Kenya with his nephew to visit his brother and go on a safari. After 10 days in Kenya on the morning of his return date back to Goa he collapsed and quickly passed away. The cause of death is not known for certain but is suspected to be heart attack.

The most pressing need as of this writing is for transporting his body back to Goa. Your prayers are appreciated for this process that requires coordination with the Kenyan authorities.

We will post more information as we learn the details.

You may share your thoughts, reflections, and prayers about Gonz by sending an email to gonzagamemorial@gmail.com. Your posting will later appear in this blog.

You may also send any notes of condolence directly to Gonzaga's mother at this address:

Getrudes Paes

Bambordem, Moira, Bardez,

GOA 403 507

India